Life is a journey and just happens. The hands on the click spin round and round and before you know it, years have passed us by. Today I realized that it has been a while since I posted in my blog. Writing has always been a passion and something that I love to do. It is way to tell a story; my story of things, people, places, experiences that represent present and past.
Two years have gone since I wrote last. In two years my daughter is almost 21, an adult. My son has entered into high school and is almost half way through and will be driving soon. We rehabbed my mom's home and she moved closer to us, my husband has been promoted into a new capacity at Southwest, we've been to Europe, our son now plays football and in some ways time has passed us by yet stood still. In reading past blogs I realize that I've changed, yet remained the same.
Life gets so busy and we get caught in the day to day routines that we forget to stop and take time to do the things we love. We wear the "I'm so busy" badge as if it is something to be proud of yet, we don't take time to pursue our passions or use our God given talents. We have all been blessed with gifts and talents; writing, photography, woodworking, scrapbooking, singing, playing an instrument, acting, painting, drawing, landscaping, sculpting, dancing, interior decorating,, baking, coaching, mentoring.
What are the talents that God has given you that you have just put aside because you were too busy in the day to day routines? As we use our gifts and talents to benefit others, we fulfill our own purpose here on earth and in return feel fulfilled and blessed. Often as I mentor at the high school, we often ask the question to students, what are you good at? What are your passions, dreams, gifts and at first glance they have difficulty expressing themselves. It takes a lot of dialogue to help them put into words what those passions might look like. We as adults can also get lost, we forget who we are, forget what we love and lose who we are as individuals. One way back to finding ourselves is remembering what our passions are and how we can use them to inspire others.
"The meaning of life is to find your gift. The purpose of life is giving it away." William Shakespeare
Tuesday, September 26, 2017
Monday, March 23, 2015
Eat to Live, Left Behind: Live to Eat
I've been asked to write my story. It is a long, personal journey so hear it is...
In reflecting over my struggle with food, I guess it dates back to my childhood. I never really thought about it but it is a struggle, raising a family on a pastor's salary. Groceries were one way my parents could save. I'm not saying that we ever went hungry, but we ate what was the cheapest; canned fruits and vegetables, some organ meats, processed lunch meats, lots of pasta and processed foods. I remember throwing many sandwiches away and passing much food down to my best friend Zak under the table when no one was looking. I had the distinct advantage over my brother to discard of my unwanted morsels, while my brother wasn't so cunning. I remember him sitting at the table for hours chewing the same piece of meat while I moved on to something else. We had meals of the week that were my favorite, however I learned to exist on my dad's treasured sweets of Little Debbies, donuts or ice cream after dinner. I was thin growing up, because I didn't eat much. My parents and the generations before had little education about healthy eating so we ate a unhealthy balance of sugar and carbs.
Through college, I learned to handle my relationships, stress and college by lack of eating. Again I dropped down to my lowest weight until I found a happier place and transferred to another college returning to a normal weight and a more balanced approach to eating.
After college, I found the love of cooking and after I got married, I cooked and baked until was my heart was content. Again, when the stress of work and commutes took over, I found comfort in a trip to the bakery until I found myself at a very heavy weight. I joined weight watchers with a dear friend of mine, joined the gym and then shaved off the 20 lbs that I had put on. I maintained my weight until the kids started coming along. After about 2 or 3 years, I didn't like the weight that I had accumulated so I went back to Weight Watchers and lost 25 lbs. this time. After my son, in 2009 I had put on many lbs. so I decided to go to a doctor and I lost a stunning 40 lbs. I kept the weight off for a year and a half. In the past 5 years, I could not lose more than one pound to save my soul. I was tested for hormones, thyroid, went to the gym with NO RETURNS for anything that I tried. I guess I just kind of gave up. I heard from magazines and others that I lacked motivation, will power, self discipline, etc. When I had gone to weight loss places in the past I was overcome with guilt and shame and felt as if I had been judged and in then end had a mind set that soon I would do the same all over again.
This past summer, I watched my daughter Abby do an inspiring thing. She was diagnosed with wheat and allergies. She decided on her own that she was tired of her stomach aches, migranes and how she looked to go off of all breads, pastas, rice. On her own she started eating meats, vegetables and fruits only. Within 4 months, she lost 20 lbs. I couldn't have been more proud!
Over the past two years, I started displaying the same symptoms as she did, although I never went through food allergy testing. Over time I started to get really sick. I had no energy or zest for life. Every time I would eat, I felt like someone had punched me in the stomach. I had migraines more than four times a week. My joints hurt, especially my knees and my hip. I was always out of breath when we would hike or walk for a long time. To be honest, I felt like I was 100 years old. When I was happy we would celebrate with a fruit croissant. When we were sad, we would go to our favorite cake or ice cream shop. Going to the pantry was my solace when I was tired, depressed or just unhappy with my life.
Maintenance was always my weak link. Now looking back over the years, I can see that eating was just a symptom to a greater problem, my emotional baggage that had occurred over the years. Often we go to the doctor and we are just treated for the symptoms but the root cause is never discovered. Lack of eating or overeating is how many of us deal with life. It isn't until we heal from the inside out that we can come to terms with the fact that food is our solace. I started reading what we eat and what is put into our food on Foodbabe.com. It peaked my interest about all the chemicals in the processed foods we eat. Over the years, I have come to terms with my life past and present. I have accepted responsibility for the mistakes I have made, I have come to terms with the things I cannot change and have forgiven many for offenses and hurts that have taken place in my life. I decided that I would work on this one area in my life that I felt had been out of control and was going to make a change in order to become physically healthy once again.
In October of last year, I made up my mind that I was going to seek outside help after watching a friend of mine transform before my very eyes. I went to a clinic here in Scottsdale called New Results. They told me many things I had heard in times past but they said it in a way that finally clicked in my head. The difference in their approach is that it is not as restrictive and that I wasn't eating nearly the amount of protein that my body needed. To date I have gone through Halloween, birthdays, Christmas, Valentines and a 10 day trip out of the country and am still on the plan and have lost almost 25 lbs. I am only five pounds away from my goal to lose 30 before Abby graduates. I feel 100 percent better. My stomach pains are gone, my migraines have subsided and my joints are so much better. It used to be about how I looked, this time it was about becoming healthy once again.
How do I do it you might ask? By eating meats, nuts (almonds and limited cashews), green veggies and berries ( a couple times a week), protein shakes, protein bars with less than 3 grams sugar. We elminated white flour, white sugar and all process foods. Occassionally we will eat brown rice or other healthy grains or an occasional treat and we started working out at least three times a week. The staff at New Results have been so caring and supportive and have truly been instrumental in my success of this new lifestyle. Did you notice I said "Lifestyle", not diet. I know that if I return to a diet full of carbs, I will become sick once again. It has been five months now and it has only become easier over time. I can't say that I don't battle at times when I stand in front of the bakery case at my favorite place to get Iced Tea, but how I feel when I eat it wins out in my mind over the moment of pleasure that I may feel. I also learned that a bite or two of a dessert can satisfy better than a whole piece or bowl. I also learned from my prior training that it is better to drive to something that I may be craving then to keep it in my pantry or refrigerator where I can return to it again and again. It is better to send it to the trash then consume it...
I have to say that I have seen in my lifetime that God has created me to be a certain weight. When I go past His will for me, I start to have problems. I've been telling my kids that when you are young, you can abuse your body, but the impact that of the choices you make in your youth, will greatly impact your quality of life as you age.
I'm not fooling myself to think that my struggle is over or that you entirely conquer your demons. I truly think it has been and will continue to be a lifelong struggle. However, for the first time in my life, I have the education, the tools and the support to become healthy once again and stay this way. We never have to stay a victim of our past. We have the choice to seek guidance, when the struggle is above us, and the willingness and want is there to become different.
Lastly, I would be negligent if I didn't give God the glory for helping me overcome each obstacle along the way. Each time I would come to a plateau or time of temptation, I would call upon Him and ask for His help. I promised to give Him the glory when it was time. While I am not at the end of this chapter, I hope that my story will give others Hope; hope to seek help, hope to face their struggle and hope that with hard work and the willingness to start in a new direction that health is not out of reach!
In reflecting over my struggle with food, I guess it dates back to my childhood. I never really thought about it but it is a struggle, raising a family on a pastor's salary. Groceries were one way my parents could save. I'm not saying that we ever went hungry, but we ate what was the cheapest; canned fruits and vegetables, some organ meats, processed lunch meats, lots of pasta and processed foods. I remember throwing many sandwiches away and passing much food down to my best friend Zak under the table when no one was looking. I had the distinct advantage over my brother to discard of my unwanted morsels, while my brother wasn't so cunning. I remember him sitting at the table for hours chewing the same piece of meat while I moved on to something else. We had meals of the week that were my favorite, however I learned to exist on my dad's treasured sweets of Little Debbies, donuts or ice cream after dinner. I was thin growing up, because I didn't eat much. My parents and the generations before had little education about healthy eating so we ate a unhealthy balance of sugar and carbs.
Through college, I learned to handle my relationships, stress and college by lack of eating. Again I dropped down to my lowest weight until I found a happier place and transferred to another college returning to a normal weight and a more balanced approach to eating.
After college, I found the love of cooking and after I got married, I cooked and baked until was my heart was content. Again, when the stress of work and commutes took over, I found comfort in a trip to the bakery until I found myself at a very heavy weight. I joined weight watchers with a dear friend of mine, joined the gym and then shaved off the 20 lbs that I had put on. I maintained my weight until the kids started coming along. After about 2 or 3 years, I didn't like the weight that I had accumulated so I went back to Weight Watchers and lost 25 lbs. this time. After my son, in 2009 I had put on many lbs. so I decided to go to a doctor and I lost a stunning 40 lbs. I kept the weight off for a year and a half. In the past 5 years, I could not lose more than one pound to save my soul. I was tested for hormones, thyroid, went to the gym with NO RETURNS for anything that I tried. I guess I just kind of gave up. I heard from magazines and others that I lacked motivation, will power, self discipline, etc. When I had gone to weight loss places in the past I was overcome with guilt and shame and felt as if I had been judged and in then end had a mind set that soon I would do the same all over again.
This past summer, I watched my daughter Abby do an inspiring thing. She was diagnosed with wheat and allergies. She decided on her own that she was tired of her stomach aches, migranes and how she looked to go off of all breads, pastas, rice. On her own she started eating meats, vegetables and fruits only. Within 4 months, she lost 20 lbs. I couldn't have been more proud!
Over the past two years, I started displaying the same symptoms as she did, although I never went through food allergy testing. Over time I started to get really sick. I had no energy or zest for life. Every time I would eat, I felt like someone had punched me in the stomach. I had migraines more than four times a week. My joints hurt, especially my knees and my hip. I was always out of breath when we would hike or walk for a long time. To be honest, I felt like I was 100 years old. When I was happy we would celebrate with a fruit croissant. When we were sad, we would go to our favorite cake or ice cream shop. Going to the pantry was my solace when I was tired, depressed or just unhappy with my life.
Maintenance was always my weak link. Now looking back over the years, I can see that eating was just a symptom to a greater problem, my emotional baggage that had occurred over the years. Often we go to the doctor and we are just treated for the symptoms but the root cause is never discovered. Lack of eating or overeating is how many of us deal with life. It isn't until we heal from the inside out that we can come to terms with the fact that food is our solace. I started reading what we eat and what is put into our food on Foodbabe.com. It peaked my interest about all the chemicals in the processed foods we eat. Over the years, I have come to terms with my life past and present. I have accepted responsibility for the mistakes I have made, I have come to terms with the things I cannot change and have forgiven many for offenses and hurts that have taken place in my life. I decided that I would work on this one area in my life that I felt had been out of control and was going to make a change in order to become physically healthy once again.
In October of last year, I made up my mind that I was going to seek outside help after watching a friend of mine transform before my very eyes. I went to a clinic here in Scottsdale called New Results. They told me many things I had heard in times past but they said it in a way that finally clicked in my head. The difference in their approach is that it is not as restrictive and that I wasn't eating nearly the amount of protein that my body needed. To date I have gone through Halloween, birthdays, Christmas, Valentines and a 10 day trip out of the country and am still on the plan and have lost almost 25 lbs. I am only five pounds away from my goal to lose 30 before Abby graduates. I feel 100 percent better. My stomach pains are gone, my migraines have subsided and my joints are so much better. It used to be about how I looked, this time it was about becoming healthy once again.
How do I do it you might ask? By eating meats, nuts (almonds and limited cashews), green veggies and berries ( a couple times a week), protein shakes, protein bars with less than 3 grams sugar. We elminated white flour, white sugar and all process foods. Occassionally we will eat brown rice or other healthy grains or an occasional treat and we started working out at least three times a week. The staff at New Results have been so caring and supportive and have truly been instrumental in my success of this new lifestyle. Did you notice I said "Lifestyle", not diet. I know that if I return to a diet full of carbs, I will become sick once again. It has been five months now and it has only become easier over time. I can't say that I don't battle at times when I stand in front of the bakery case at my favorite place to get Iced Tea, but how I feel when I eat it wins out in my mind over the moment of pleasure that I may feel. I also learned that a bite or two of a dessert can satisfy better than a whole piece or bowl. I also learned from my prior training that it is better to drive to something that I may be craving then to keep it in my pantry or refrigerator where I can return to it again and again. It is better to send it to the trash then consume it...
I have to say that I have seen in my lifetime that God has created me to be a certain weight. When I go past His will for me, I start to have problems. I've been telling my kids that when you are young, you can abuse your body, but the impact that of the choices you make in your youth, will greatly impact your quality of life as you age.
I'm not fooling myself to think that my struggle is over or that you entirely conquer your demons. I truly think it has been and will continue to be a lifelong struggle. However, for the first time in my life, I have the education, the tools and the support to become healthy once again and stay this way. We never have to stay a victim of our past. We have the choice to seek guidance, when the struggle is above us, and the willingness and want is there to become different.
Lastly, I would be negligent if I didn't give God the glory for helping me overcome each obstacle along the way. Each time I would come to a plateau or time of temptation, I would call upon Him and ask for His help. I promised to give Him the glory when it was time. While I am not at the end of this chapter, I hope that my story will give others Hope; hope to seek help, hope to face their struggle and hope that with hard work and the willingness to start in a new direction that health is not out of reach!
Sunday, January 4, 2015
Breaking the Silence
It has been a LONG time since I posted last. I have spent the past five months processing, walking down memory lane, trying to cope with the months ahead. There has been many a parent who walks this road and our journey is not complete.
2014 brought many changes. Our son, Dylan became a teenager, and Abby turned 18. We celebrated 25 years of marriage. Our pastor moved away and one of my best friends was diagnosed with cancer. I couldn't find many words to say, so this is the first time that I write again.
We are now in the fourth day of 2015. Today our new pastor began his journey with us. He walked us through the history of our church and talked about forgetting the past and dreaming big dreams. It struck a cord with me, near and dear to my heart. I have spent the past five months walking down memory lane, stuck in the past that was almost paralyzing. Change often does that to us. We love life as it is most of the time. Familiarity brings us so much comfort. Some people have a hard time accepting change and choose to live a life that doesn't allow one to move forward. Yet, change is a part of life that cannot be avoided; whether friends and family grow up, we grow old or we lose those that we love, change is inevitable. We cannot stop the clock or interfere with God's divine purpose or plan. The only thing that we can control is how we face change.
I think sometimes, if we focus on what was, we don't have to face what if or what will be. As a parent, we have invested every ounce of our being into the life of our kids and into their friends. Some parents believe it is only their duty to give a child food, clothing and shelter. To walk the journey of life with a child; to walk and talk faith, friendships, family and purpose, to teach and coach and cheer and mourn is so beyond providing just the basics.
God has created each one of us for a purpose, to glorify Him. With each season of life comes purpose. All that happens to us is part of our story, woven into the tapestry of our being. With change comes new ministries, a new mission, a new purpose. It looks different and at times it is hard to dream big dreams, because we are stuck in our tunnel. We can embrace change with grace and dignity or we can resist and have negative attitudes that interfere with God's best for us.
God grant us the ability to embrace change, to enjoy each moment that we have and not wish for one more. Help us to not look back but to press forward, having hope that new seasons will bring new opportunities. Help us dream big dreams and help us to make a difference in the lives of others
who are walking behind us and the vision to see open doors of what is ahead for us. Above all else, may I continue to be more like Jesus and keep my eyes on Him. For if my focus is steadfast on the One who knows what lies ahead, HE will prepare us for that which is to come!
2014 brought many changes. Our son, Dylan became a teenager, and Abby turned 18. We celebrated 25 years of marriage. Our pastor moved away and one of my best friends was diagnosed with cancer. I couldn't find many words to say, so this is the first time that I write again.
We are now in the fourth day of 2015. Today our new pastor began his journey with us. He walked us through the history of our church and talked about forgetting the past and dreaming big dreams. It struck a cord with me, near and dear to my heart. I have spent the past five months walking down memory lane, stuck in the past that was almost paralyzing. Change often does that to us. We love life as it is most of the time. Familiarity brings us so much comfort. Some people have a hard time accepting change and choose to live a life that doesn't allow one to move forward. Yet, change is a part of life that cannot be avoided; whether friends and family grow up, we grow old or we lose those that we love, change is inevitable. We cannot stop the clock or interfere with God's divine purpose or plan. The only thing that we can control is how we face change.
I think sometimes, if we focus on what was, we don't have to face what if or what will be. As a parent, we have invested every ounce of our being into the life of our kids and into their friends. Some parents believe it is only their duty to give a child food, clothing and shelter. To walk the journey of life with a child; to walk and talk faith, friendships, family and purpose, to teach and coach and cheer and mourn is so beyond providing just the basics.
God has created each one of us for a purpose, to glorify Him. With each season of life comes purpose. All that happens to us is part of our story, woven into the tapestry of our being. With change comes new ministries, a new mission, a new purpose. It looks different and at times it is hard to dream big dreams, because we are stuck in our tunnel. We can embrace change with grace and dignity or we can resist and have negative attitudes that interfere with God's best for us.
who are walking behind us and the vision to see open doors of what is ahead for us. Above all else, may I continue to be more like Jesus and keep my eyes on Him. For if my focus is steadfast on the One who knows what lies ahead, HE will prepare us for that which is to come!
Wednesday, May 14, 2014
Wrinkles should merely indicate where the smiles have been. Mark Twain
"Your life is a gift from the Creator. Your gift back to the Creator is what you do with your life." Billy Mills
Another year is behind me. Where have the days gone? Life seems to be passing too quickly and I can't stop the clock. Our son will be half way through middle school, our daughter will enter her last year of high school. I'm not prepared for what is to come in this next year. I don't think you ever plan for many things that happen in life to us . I'm so thankful I can't see the big picture of what is ahead. I think I might have a panic attack.
As each year passes, life gets more serious, for our friends, and our family. Parents aging takes on new meaning, my generation feels the weight of being sandwiched in between raising children and taking care of elderly parents running in and out of the hospital. This year, people I love have lost loved ones; parents, sons. Yesterday, I visited with a dear friend who has been fighting cancer for over 15 years. Today we received news that one of my oldest and dearest friends has been diagnosed with a very serious illness. So much in life doesn't make sense, it is so hard to process all that is happening around us. All of a sudden, the daily routines and rituals that at times are so consuming seem so small and unimportant.
Last year on this day, I spent the day celebrating my grandfather who had just passed away. This year, I am entering this day with a heavy heart for friends I love so dearly. Celebrating a birthday takes on new meaning for me. It means a new start, being more intentional and grateful for each day that God gives me breath and health and others to love. Summer is just around the corner. Work, life and my inability to say no when others ask me to do something, takes away from the hours I can spend quality time with my friends and family. While it is important to make a difference in the community around me, I also realize that it is important to invest in the lives of those that live within the walls that surround me. It is also important to be a better steward of the temporary body that God has given me and focus on being healthier. It is really hard for me to do that when I am always making others a priority.
My personal word for years has been "Intentional". I think my word for this upcoming year will be "Present". This means I will have to unplug more, listen, talk less, and become more available. When each day passes, I can't go back and retrieve it. I'm thankful for friends who have stood by my side all of these years and family who have learned to love me inspite of my imperfections. Regardless of my external appearance changing, I can still choose to live life of an optimist and choose Joy, for each day, there are hundreds of reasons to be thankful.
Another year is behind me. Where have the days gone? Life seems to be passing too quickly and I can't stop the clock. Our son will be half way through middle school, our daughter will enter her last year of high school. I'm not prepared for what is to come in this next year. I don't think you ever plan for many things that happen in life to us . I'm so thankful I can't see the big picture of what is ahead. I think I might have a panic attack.
As each year passes, life gets more serious, for our friends, and our family. Parents aging takes on new meaning, my generation feels the weight of being sandwiched in between raising children and taking care of elderly parents running in and out of the hospital. This year, people I love have lost loved ones; parents, sons. Yesterday, I visited with a dear friend who has been fighting cancer for over 15 years. Today we received news that one of my oldest and dearest friends has been diagnosed with a very serious illness. So much in life doesn't make sense, it is so hard to process all that is happening around us. All of a sudden, the daily routines and rituals that at times are so consuming seem so small and unimportant.
Last year on this day, I spent the day celebrating my grandfather who had just passed away. This year, I am entering this day with a heavy heart for friends I love so dearly. Celebrating a birthday takes on new meaning for me. It means a new start, being more intentional and grateful for each day that God gives me breath and health and others to love. Summer is just around the corner. Work, life and my inability to say no when others ask me to do something, takes away from the hours I can spend quality time with my friends and family. While it is important to make a difference in the community around me, I also realize that it is important to invest in the lives of those that live within the walls that surround me. It is also important to be a better steward of the temporary body that God has given me and focus on being healthier. It is really hard for me to do that when I am always making others a priority.
My personal word for years has been "Intentional". I think my word for this upcoming year will be "Present". This means I will have to unplug more, listen, talk less, and become more available. When each day passes, I can't go back and retrieve it. I'm thankful for friends who have stood by my side all of these years and family who have learned to love me inspite of my imperfections. Regardless of my external appearance changing, I can still choose to live life of an optimist and choose Joy, for each day, there are hundreds of reasons to be thankful.
Monday, May 12, 2014
To Mom with Love
I look through Facebook and see all of the posts, posted to women I have known throughout my lifetime; friends and family. They are all moms and grandmothers. I see many similarities from family to family. "Mom you were there for me all of these years."
"Thank you for always being there. Thank you for supporting me!" An excerpt of my other card said "You help us with our problems and your devote your time to be with us."
How thankful I am for being part of lineage of great women who loved, prayed and supported their children. I am also thankful to be part of a bigger family, extended family, church family and friends who also share my passion to be the best mom I can be.
This is evident in all the pictures displayed from yesterday, moms at track meets, volleyball tournaments, soccer games, baseball games, football games, horse competitions, gymnastic competitions, fishing, hiking and playing at the park. Again and again it is evident that these are parents investing in the lives of their children, day in and day out.
From birth to when they breathe their last breath, mom is always there. I am reminded that the road is not always easy. In the baby and toddler years there are many sleepless nights, through sickness and various stages of life. Then comes the child declaring their independence and struggles of power, to becoming the coach not the mother and having to let their child fly away. The job of a mother is never ending. I have watched my friends watched their children walk down the aisle and then transition to being parents themselves and having to step back and let them grow and flounder. I have also watched those dear to me walk through their child having a terminal illness and watch them breathe their last breath.
A mother's job is never ending without trials or having to give their hearts away. However, it is evident in the child's post that the mothers' efforts don't go unnoticed for the daily investment in the life of their child receives many benefits; mostly in the eternal benefits that will one day be reaped. Some used to believe that being a mother was just providing food, clothing and shelter. Being a parent is so much more. It is also giving a child the emotional, spiritual and relational tools helping your child walk through life to see the bigger picture. Every person is created in God's image. Every person is created for a specific purpose while they are here on earth. It is the mother's job to help their child be the best that they can be, to fulfill their purpose. I am sure that there will be millions of mothers, regardless of race, culture or economic status that will one day hear the words "Well done, though good and faithful servant." They will hear these words, for they invested in the life of their child teaching them to go out and bless others. If you are a mom or are going to be a mom, just remember that it will be the most important investment you ever make! The rewards are greater than the investment!
"Thank you for always being there. Thank you for supporting me!" An excerpt of my other card said "You help us with our problems and your devote your time to be with us."
How thankful I am for being part of lineage of great women who loved, prayed and supported their children. I am also thankful to be part of a bigger family, extended family, church family and friends who also share my passion to be the best mom I can be.
This is evident in all the pictures displayed from yesterday, moms at track meets, volleyball tournaments, soccer games, baseball games, football games, horse competitions, gymnastic competitions, fishing, hiking and playing at the park. Again and again it is evident that these are parents investing in the lives of their children, day in and day out.
From birth to when they breathe their last breath, mom is always there. I am reminded that the road is not always easy. In the baby and toddler years there are many sleepless nights, through sickness and various stages of life. Then comes the child declaring their independence and struggles of power, to becoming the coach not the mother and having to let their child fly away. The job of a mother is never ending. I have watched my friends watched their children walk down the aisle and then transition to being parents themselves and having to step back and let them grow and flounder. I have also watched those dear to me walk through their child having a terminal illness and watch them breathe their last breath.
A mother's job is never ending without trials or having to give their hearts away. However, it is evident in the child's post that the mothers' efforts don't go unnoticed for the daily investment in the life of their child receives many benefits; mostly in the eternal benefits that will one day be reaped. Some used to believe that being a mother was just providing food, clothing and shelter. Being a parent is so much more. It is also giving a child the emotional, spiritual and relational tools helping your child walk through life to see the bigger picture. Every person is created in God's image. Every person is created for a specific purpose while they are here on earth. It is the mother's job to help their child be the best that they can be, to fulfill their purpose. I am sure that there will be millions of mothers, regardless of race, culture or economic status that will one day hear the words "Well done, though good and faithful servant." They will hear these words, for they invested in the life of their child teaching them to go out and bless others. If you are a mom or are going to be a mom, just remember that it will be the most important investment you ever make! The rewards are greater than the investment!
Wednesday, March 26, 2014
Two Shakes of a Lamb's Tail
Each year that passes by, I am one year closer. Closer to what you are asking, Closer to seeing my dad once again. March 26, 2003 was one of the grimmest days of my life, when we unexpectedly lost my dad, 11 years ago.
This year is significant, in February, my parents would have celebrated their 50th anniversary. They only made it to 39. Each year that passes, I find that I am more and more like my dad. I remember when he started aging, physically. At times, I feel like I am racing against the clock, although longevity is in my genes, my grandparents lived into their 90's, that is if I take after my mom's side. I also have come to realize that Dylan, our son has grown up without him and he is a distant memory and he will not attend Abby, our daughter's high school graduation next year.
I see his absence in my mom and how she misses his companionship and direction in simple decisions of life, although I am so proud of how far she has come. I see his absence in my brother's life, knowing that there are many times that he could use his counsel and guidance for direction. I feel his absence at times in the spiritual wisdom that he often gave to me in tough times.
Apart from his his physical and spiritual absence, he left a legacy, his character was so profound, you just aspired to be like him. At the time of his death, I felt that I was at a crossroads. I had ridden on his coat tails for the majority of my life. My kids often ask why I always think and talk about spiritual things. I decided that I could just live life, walking through the motions, or I could carry the torch that my dad had lit inside of me.
I can remember as clear as day, the night I did not sleep, trying to comprehend that my dad was no longer here, that I would pick up where he left off. My dad was intentional. He didn't care about the vehicles he drove or the clothes on his back or whether he was in perfect physical shape or that he would go down as one of the most famous pastors of all time. In the end, he lived in the middle of the desert, being manager and caretaker of a camp, for children who were underprivileged and would come to a camp to hear about the love of Jesus. In his last moments, he was feeding the animals of the petting zoo, alone, in pure peace and silence, probably singing songs of praise or spending time with our heavenly Father.
I have always hoped and prayed that I would become like my dad, "Jesus in the flesh to those who need love." As he aged, I saw him become more humble and more dependent on Jesus for small things in life. He was less concerned about his title or what job he would receive next, he just wanted to please the Lord in everything he said and did. I also saw him become more reflective about praying more and saying less. My father was far from perfect and I find myself in the same place, making so many mistakes, often wishing I didn't do or say the things I wish I wouldn't do. I think in maturity you start to take ownership for your past and present. So many people walk through life laying blame on others or make excuses for their shortcomings instead of owning up to the fact that at some point you grow up and have to take responsibility for your own actions. We choose for ourselves the course our lives will take. You can love God or not. You can forgive family and friends or not. You can live your life to help others or not. You can live at peace with all men or not. I think that is one of the most remarkable things about God. In His infinite love for us, He gave us freewill.
I find I have the same heart as my dad, wanting no one to perish without knowing the love of Jesus. I think he loved others a little more unconditionally than I do, but I am learning to forgive and extend mercy and grace to those who don't ask for it or deserve it.. Maybe he had a little more experience and I am still a work in progress. I guess the Lord won't bring me home until He has refined me to where I am fit for the kingdom.
The saying Two Shakes of a Lamb's tail talks about how things will happen in the indefinite future. I'm not sure how much longer it will be before I see my dad again, a day, month, year, 5, 10, 20, 30. But the saying is true, as you grow older, time passes more quickly. I often think that my dad is still watching and I hope I make him proud. I also think that he continues to intercede in prayer on my behalf that I will fulfill my purpose here on earth. I think Micah 6:8 says it all, "To act justly and to love mercy, and to walk humbly with thy God." It is how my dad lived his days here on earth, and it is how I will continue to try to live intentionally here too!
This year is significant, in February, my parents would have celebrated their 50th anniversary. They only made it to 39. Each year that passes, I find that I am more and more like my dad. I remember when he started aging, physically. At times, I feel like I am racing against the clock, although longevity is in my genes, my grandparents lived into their 90's, that is if I take after my mom's side. I also have come to realize that Dylan, our son has grown up without him and he is a distant memory and he will not attend Abby, our daughter's high school graduation next year.
I see his absence in my mom and how she misses his companionship and direction in simple decisions of life, although I am so proud of how far she has come. I see his absence in my brother's life, knowing that there are many times that he could use his counsel and guidance for direction. I feel his absence at times in the spiritual wisdom that he often gave to me in tough times.
Apart from his his physical and spiritual absence, he left a legacy, his character was so profound, you just aspired to be like him. At the time of his death, I felt that I was at a crossroads. I had ridden on his coat tails for the majority of my life. My kids often ask why I always think and talk about spiritual things. I decided that I could just live life, walking through the motions, or I could carry the torch that my dad had lit inside of me.
I can remember as clear as day, the night I did not sleep, trying to comprehend that my dad was no longer here, that I would pick up where he left off. My dad was intentional. He didn't care about the vehicles he drove or the clothes on his back or whether he was in perfect physical shape or that he would go down as one of the most famous pastors of all time. In the end, he lived in the middle of the desert, being manager and caretaker of a camp, for children who were underprivileged and would come to a camp to hear about the love of Jesus. In his last moments, he was feeding the animals of the petting zoo, alone, in pure peace and silence, probably singing songs of praise or spending time with our heavenly Father.
I have always hoped and prayed that I would become like my dad, "Jesus in the flesh to those who need love." As he aged, I saw him become more humble and more dependent on Jesus for small things in life. He was less concerned about his title or what job he would receive next, he just wanted to please the Lord in everything he said and did. I also saw him become more reflective about praying more and saying less. My father was far from perfect and I find myself in the same place, making so many mistakes, often wishing I didn't do or say the things I wish I wouldn't do. I think in maturity you start to take ownership for your past and present. So many people walk through life laying blame on others or make excuses for their shortcomings instead of owning up to the fact that at some point you grow up and have to take responsibility for your own actions. We choose for ourselves the course our lives will take. You can love God or not. You can forgive family and friends or not. You can live your life to help others or not. You can live at peace with all men or not. I think that is one of the most remarkable things about God. In His infinite love for us, He gave us freewill.
I find I have the same heart as my dad, wanting no one to perish without knowing the love of Jesus. I think he loved others a little more unconditionally than I do, but I am learning to forgive and extend mercy and grace to those who don't ask for it or deserve it.. Maybe he had a little more experience and I am still a work in progress. I guess the Lord won't bring me home until He has refined me to where I am fit for the kingdom.
The saying Two Shakes of a Lamb's tail talks about how things will happen in the indefinite future. I'm not sure how much longer it will be before I see my dad again, a day, month, year, 5, 10, 20, 30. But the saying is true, as you grow older, time passes more quickly. I often think that my dad is still watching and I hope I make him proud. I also think that he continues to intercede in prayer on my behalf that I will fulfill my purpose here on earth. I think Micah 6:8 says it all, "To act justly and to love mercy, and to walk humbly with thy God." It is how my dad lived his days here on earth, and it is how I will continue to try to live intentionally here too!
Thursday, March 20, 2014
An Apple a Day
Dear friend, I pray that you may enjoy good health and that all may go well with you. III John 1:2
There are so many things in life we take for granted. One of the most important things is our health.
Each day I talk on the phone to my husband when he is gone, give instructions to my kids and sing them goodnight, until I find myself with a bad case of the flu and I have no voice, for several days.
We ride bikes, take hikes and walk the dogs until one day, I twist my ankle, pull a ligament or throw out my back just by getting up out of bed and I can't exercise like I'd like.
Some of these ailments can be healed with rest, time and a bottle of theraflu or advil. Others take longer to heal. We have friends whose daughter has had pneumonia and has been in the hospital for several days. We also have another dear friend who has been battling cancer, going through chemotherapy. What should we do when someone that you care about is sick? James 5:14 says, "Is anyone among you sick, call for the church leaders and have them pray for you." We are starting to see healing in this little girl's life because many people have banned together and are consistent in asking God for healing.
I often forget to thank God when everyone is healthy in my household. I don't forget to ask him for healing though when one of us comes down sick and then I pray that the rest don't receive the same thing. I think it is just as important to give Him praise when things are going well and everyone is feeling well, as it is to ask Him for healing when we can't overcome an ailment with modern medicine.
We can do our best to eat well, rest and exercise but in the end, an apple a day will not stop us from being hurt or sick. I do believe that the greatest healer can only be found in Jesus. He has been healing the sick for many years. Sometimes He chooses to heal us completely here on earth, sometimes He allows us to endure sickness to provide others with compassion and empathy and other times it is only in the eternal that by taking someone home they receive eternal healing.
There are so many things in life we take for granted. One of the most important things is our health.
Each day I talk on the phone to my husband when he is gone, give instructions to my kids and sing them goodnight, until I find myself with a bad case of the flu and I have no voice, for several days.
We ride bikes, take hikes and walk the dogs until one day, I twist my ankle, pull a ligament or throw out my back just by getting up out of bed and I can't exercise like I'd like.
Some of these ailments can be healed with rest, time and a bottle of theraflu or advil. Others take longer to heal. We have friends whose daughter has had pneumonia and has been in the hospital for several days. We also have another dear friend who has been battling cancer, going through chemotherapy. What should we do when someone that you care about is sick? James 5:14 says, "Is anyone among you sick, call for the church leaders and have them pray for you." We are starting to see healing in this little girl's life because many people have banned together and are consistent in asking God for healing.
I often forget to thank God when everyone is healthy in my household. I don't forget to ask him for healing though when one of us comes down sick and then I pray that the rest don't receive the same thing. I think it is just as important to give Him praise when things are going well and everyone is feeling well, as it is to ask Him for healing when we can't overcome an ailment with modern medicine.
We can do our best to eat well, rest and exercise but in the end, an apple a day will not stop us from being hurt or sick. I do believe that the greatest healer can only be found in Jesus. He has been healing the sick for many years. Sometimes He chooses to heal us completely here on earth, sometimes He allows us to endure sickness to provide others with compassion and empathy and other times it is only in the eternal that by taking someone home they receive eternal healing.
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