This weekend was full of ups and downs. We have been on a search for a horse for Abby since August of 2010. Each time I pray that God will give us the right horse. Each time we come up empty handed. This time was closer than the last. James seemed like the perfect horse, the right height for Abby, quiet and calm demeaner. Both of our beloved trainers thought he was the perfect fit. He was a cute jumper and Abby liked him from the start. However, I had an uneasiness as I have in the past. I never can put my finger on it. However I was willing to put aside my anxieties and we decided to trust God and move forward.
Trust is releasing our control of a situation and relying on God to give us a green light or change our course of direction. Each time we make a decision we earnestly ask God for wisdom and guidance and a huge red flag if its not meant to be. After two nights of tossing and turning and the wisdom of our vet, the red light appeared. The horse had a medical condition and he was not the one for us to buy. With it came both relief and disappointment. We thought the time had finally come to stop looking. However, this was not God's perfect timing. While Abby was very disappointed, I couldn't stop praising God for His loving kindness for being faithful in answering and His protection of what would have been a future of heartache with the horse's condition.
Sometimes He gives us an opportunity or something that we want and then it is taken away for our benefit. All I could do was praise him as we were singing at church this morning:
You give and take away, You give and take away, my heart will choose to say, Lord blessed be Your name. A huge weight was lifted off my shoulders. As I continue to walk with God, I continue to see that He has our best interest in mind. When I can't see the future or the big picture, He can for He is sovereign.
We will continue our search and we will continue to trust Him for His guidance. One day, the timing will be right and Abby will have the horse that suits her and helps her grow. In the meantime, she is learning life lessons; to trust God in all things, to wait, due diligence and perserverance. One day soon He will give her heart's desire, better than we could have asked for.
Sunday, February 27, 2011
Friday, February 25, 2011
Life Lessons from My Four Legged Friends
God said, Let the land produce living creatures according to their kinds: livestock, creatures that move along the ground, and wild animals, each according to its kind. And it was so. God make the wild animals according to their kinds, the livestock according to their kinds, and all the creatures that move along the ground according to their kinds. And God saw that it was good. Gen 1:24-25
God made our animals and He is pleased with them. He created them for our pleasure. If you have a dog, a cat, a horse, don't you love it when they come and snuggle up against you? They don't have to say a word, they just enjoy being in your presence. Don't we all long for that warmth and touch. They love it too! God created both humans and animals similar in this way. We don't have to always have words between us, we just long to be hugged, kissed and touched. It is a human need that He put inside of us from birth.
Eyes are the window to a person/animals soul. It is interesting how you can look an animal in the eye, especially a dog. They watch our human expressions. We can even make our dogs continue to sit or back up by just a look. I can look my animals in the eye and see so many different things, whether they are ashamed, whether they are nervous or happy, when they did something that they don't want me to see. When we look other people in the eye, what do we see? Do you see pain in the eyes of the hair stylist who just got yelled at for 30 minutes by an insensitive mom who looked like a crazed maniac? Do you see loneliness in the eyes of an elderly person who is living alone without their spouse? Can you tell when a person is dishonest trying to get you to do something you are unsure about by looking them in the eye? Does your teenager look away when they are unsure about how they should answer your question? Do you see rejection in the eyes of the child whose parent did not come to the party when all the parents were invited?
Animals tell us many things by their non-verbal cues. Many times when you are grooming a horse they will move their legs like they are digging in the dirt. They are telling us they are bored. Sometimes when my puppy needs to go out, she starts sniffing around in the carpet or she starts chewing on cardboard because her teeth are starting to come in and they are bothering her. Aren't people the same? We give off all kinds of non-verbal cues to each other. Do you notice? I can sit in a room and watch people. When people are uncomfortable at what someone is saying, sometimes heads go down, they start shifting in their seats. What about if you are out to dinner with someone? They start yawning or are always texting someone else. All of these non-verbals are communicating emotions without using words.
If you have an accident or make a mistake its Ok to hang your head for a little while. Fess up, say you are sorry, and make things right. Don't walk around with your tail between your legs. Learn from it and leave the past behind!
If you leave an animal alone for too long, they cause trouble. My dogs are dangerous together. The things they do together is quite fun for them, quite destructive for us, tearing out stuffing of animals, or pillows. They have chewed up a remote control, dug up flowers, chewed up toothbrushes. Aren't people the same? People get themselves in trouble when there is nothing exciting going on in their lives.When we become idle, we get into trouble.
If you truly need something or need help, don't be afraid to beg. Many times friends and family are willing to lend a helping hand. Others can't read our minds!
If you are angry with someone, don't show your teeth and growl. Walk away for a period of time and then express how you feel. Once you say words in anger, you can't take them back. Biting someone in the backside never achieves the affect you want it to.
Don't dig through your own personal trash. Leave behind your negative movies that you play over and over in your mind. Let go of your grudges. Stop thinking about past fights and people who have wronged you. Let's face it, trash stinks and sometimes it makes you sick if you keeping consuming it!
Our animals teach us to be gentle and kind. They respond more favorably to praise and reward than yelling and scorn. My kids teach me the same thing. My family deserves a kind answer and soft spoken requests. Our animals need physical care, like a healthy diet, shelter and exercise. We need all same things. Animals teach us responsibility. I always tell newlyweds if they want to see what it is like to be a parent, get an animal first. My pets don't judge me or my actions, even when I make a mistake. I need to learn to not be so judgmental to those around me for I will be judged in the same manner.
One of the most awesome passage that comes to mind when I think about animals is found in Matthew 6:26. It says, "Look at the birds of the air, they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they?" How awesome to think that when God made all the living creatures at the very beginning of time and was pleased with His work, we were His best work of all! Do you know why??? "So God created man in His own image, in the image of God he created him." Gen 1:27 You are more valuable to God than any other species because you were made in His image. Hold your heads up high! You are truly significant!
God made our animals and He is pleased with them. He created them for our pleasure. If you have a dog, a cat, a horse, don't you love it when they come and snuggle up against you? They don't have to say a word, they just enjoy being in your presence. Don't we all long for that warmth and touch. They love it too! God created both humans and animals similar in this way. We don't have to always have words between us, we just long to be hugged, kissed and touched. It is a human need that He put inside of us from birth.
Eyes are the window to a person/animals soul. It is interesting how you can look an animal in the eye, especially a dog. They watch our human expressions. We can even make our dogs continue to sit or back up by just a look. I can look my animals in the eye and see so many different things, whether they are ashamed, whether they are nervous or happy, when they did something that they don't want me to see. When we look other people in the eye, what do we see? Do you see pain in the eyes of the hair stylist who just got yelled at for 30 minutes by an insensitive mom who looked like a crazed maniac? Do you see loneliness in the eyes of an elderly person who is living alone without their spouse? Can you tell when a person is dishonest trying to get you to do something you are unsure about by looking them in the eye? Does your teenager look away when they are unsure about how they should answer your question? Do you see rejection in the eyes of the child whose parent did not come to the party when all the parents were invited?
Animals tell us many things by their non-verbal cues. Many times when you are grooming a horse they will move their legs like they are digging in the dirt. They are telling us they are bored. Sometimes when my puppy needs to go out, she starts sniffing around in the carpet or she starts chewing on cardboard because her teeth are starting to come in and they are bothering her. Aren't people the same? We give off all kinds of non-verbal cues to each other. Do you notice? I can sit in a room and watch people. When people are uncomfortable at what someone is saying, sometimes heads go down, they start shifting in their seats. What about if you are out to dinner with someone? They start yawning or are always texting someone else. All of these non-verbals are communicating emotions without using words.
If you have an accident or make a mistake its Ok to hang your head for a little while. Fess up, say you are sorry, and make things right. Don't walk around with your tail between your legs. Learn from it and leave the past behind!
If you leave an animal alone for too long, they cause trouble. My dogs are dangerous together. The things they do together is quite fun for them, quite destructive for us, tearing out stuffing of animals, or pillows. They have chewed up a remote control, dug up flowers, chewed up toothbrushes. Aren't people the same? People get themselves in trouble when there is nothing exciting going on in their lives.When we become idle, we get into trouble.
If you truly need something or need help, don't be afraid to beg. Many times friends and family are willing to lend a helping hand. Others can't read our minds!
If you are angry with someone, don't show your teeth and growl. Walk away for a period of time and then express how you feel. Once you say words in anger, you can't take them back. Biting someone in the backside never achieves the affect you want it to.
Don't dig through your own personal trash. Leave behind your negative movies that you play over and over in your mind. Let go of your grudges. Stop thinking about past fights and people who have wronged you. Let's face it, trash stinks and sometimes it makes you sick if you keeping consuming it!
Our animals teach us to be gentle and kind. They respond more favorably to praise and reward than yelling and scorn. My kids teach me the same thing. My family deserves a kind answer and soft spoken requests. Our animals need physical care, like a healthy diet, shelter and exercise. We need all same things. Animals teach us responsibility. I always tell newlyweds if they want to see what it is like to be a parent, get an animal first. My pets don't judge me or my actions, even when I make a mistake. I need to learn to not be so judgmental to those around me for I will be judged in the same manner.
One of the most awesome passage that comes to mind when I think about animals is found in Matthew 6:26. It says, "Look at the birds of the air, they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they?" How awesome to think that when God made all the living creatures at the very beginning of time and was pleased with His work, we were His best work of all! Do you know why??? "So God created man in His own image, in the image of God he created him." Gen 1:27 You are more valuable to God than any other species because you were made in His image. Hold your heads up high! You are truly significant!
Thursday, February 24, 2011
Life's Speed Bumps
Many are the plans in a man's heart, but it is the Lord's purpose that prevails. Prov. 19:21
In his heart a man plans his course, but the Lord determines his steps. Prov 16:9
So much about life is planning ahead. We teach our kids from a very young age about time management. We teach them about studying and doing a project ahead of time. We teach that graduating from high school and then college gives them a better opportunity for a good job in the future. We have day timers and blackberries, all to plan our days ahead.
So much has been written about saving for emergencies, saving for your 401K, saving for our children's college education, paying off debt, preparing for retirement. We spend much of our time and energy about investing and living within our means. We make plans for our kids with their sports and guide them for future opportunities. We buy car insurance in case of an accident, dental insurance planning for the day when our kids will get braces or as we age we come into major dental work, health insurance in case of hospital visits or major illnesses that one day may be facing us or our children. We are a society that plans for all kinds of crisis'.
Do you realize on a daily basis how many times we come across a speed bump in life? We write our to do list of all the projects we want to complete in a day. How many times do we finish it entirely without some crisis happening or things we consider minor interruptions occur? How many times in your life have you been saving for a vacation and your dishwasher, dryer, and a flat tire all happen in the same week? You are going away for the weekend and your kids come down with the flu. You are in a hurry to a lunch date and you get pulled over and get a huge ticket for going too fast. You have three appointments in a row lined up and your kids forget their homework and lunch and you have to rush and now you are late. It seems as if life rarely goes as we have planned. Is there any security in any of the preventive things that we plan for? Is there anything in life that is certain? Are we promised our health, our financial security or does our life just happen randomly with no control or anyone in control of our life?
My grandpa has had an awesome saying, "We will plan to do this or that, Lord willing". How profound a statement. God wants us to make plans. There is wisdom in having a plan for the future. I always say, if we aim at nothing we gain nothing. How do I really know that my plan is what the Lord would want for me? My favorite life verse is Proverbs 3:5-6. It says, "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not unto your own understanding, acknowledge Him and He will direct your path."
Whenever Paul and I are to make a big decision, whether it is buying a car, house, moving, choice of schools for the kids, picking a church, anything that will greatly impact our life or the life of a good friend or family member, I always ask God to open or close the door. We almost never purchase a big ticket item on impulse. Paul is awesome at researching for an extended period of time. Usually when we decide quickly it is always a mistake. In time, God always sells what we are trying to buy or gives us an uneasiness that we should not proceed. We have missed opportunities and good deals along the way, but God has protected us over and over what might bring us to ruin in the future by not walking in front of Him. If you are married, listen to the opinion of your spouse. Often one has insight that the other might not have.
What if the decision is not God's will or what if we did what we thought we should do and had a peace and we lose our job or make a financial deal that costs us? People suffer all kinds of hardships, physically, emotionally, financially. James says, if any of you lacks wisdom He should ask God. This is how you should pray, Our Father who is in Heaven, hallowed by Your name, Your kingdom come, your will be done, on earth as it is in Heaven. Give us this day, our daily bread...Matt 6:9-11. There is one place that I know is secure. God knows everything that is going to happen before it even occurs. God is in control of everything. If I lack anything and I ask in HIS name, especially when it comes to my physical needs, He says He will provide. If I ask Him to win the lottery, I don't think He will honor that. But if I ask Him for bread to feed my family, do I know He will provide? Absolutely!
We might suffer for a period of time without work, we might have to live with financial choices that might not have been the wisest and it takes time to recover. We might have to face sickness. But He promises us that He will never leave us or forsake us. There is a purpose for all of it, the good and the bad. One day, in the future, there will be no more disappointments or speed bumps. While we are here, He is with us, regardless of how many detours we may make.
In his heart a man plans his course, but the Lord determines his steps. Prov 16:9
So much about life is planning ahead. We teach our kids from a very young age about time management. We teach them about studying and doing a project ahead of time. We teach that graduating from high school and then college gives them a better opportunity for a good job in the future. We have day timers and blackberries, all to plan our days ahead.
So much has been written about saving for emergencies, saving for your 401K, saving for our children's college education, paying off debt, preparing for retirement. We spend much of our time and energy about investing and living within our means. We make plans for our kids with their sports and guide them for future opportunities. We buy car insurance in case of an accident, dental insurance planning for the day when our kids will get braces or as we age we come into major dental work, health insurance in case of hospital visits or major illnesses that one day may be facing us or our children. We are a society that plans for all kinds of crisis'.
Do you realize on a daily basis how many times we come across a speed bump in life? We write our to do list of all the projects we want to complete in a day. How many times do we finish it entirely without some crisis happening or things we consider minor interruptions occur? How many times in your life have you been saving for a vacation and your dishwasher, dryer, and a flat tire all happen in the same week? You are going away for the weekend and your kids come down with the flu. You are in a hurry to a lunch date and you get pulled over and get a huge ticket for going too fast. You have three appointments in a row lined up and your kids forget their homework and lunch and you have to rush and now you are late. It seems as if life rarely goes as we have planned. Is there any security in any of the preventive things that we plan for? Is there anything in life that is certain? Are we promised our health, our financial security or does our life just happen randomly with no control or anyone in control of our life?
My grandpa has had an awesome saying, "We will plan to do this or that, Lord willing". How profound a statement. God wants us to make plans. There is wisdom in having a plan for the future. I always say, if we aim at nothing we gain nothing. How do I really know that my plan is what the Lord would want for me? My favorite life verse is Proverbs 3:5-6. It says, "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not unto your own understanding, acknowledge Him and He will direct your path."
Whenever Paul and I are to make a big decision, whether it is buying a car, house, moving, choice of schools for the kids, picking a church, anything that will greatly impact our life or the life of a good friend or family member, I always ask God to open or close the door. We almost never purchase a big ticket item on impulse. Paul is awesome at researching for an extended period of time. Usually when we decide quickly it is always a mistake. In time, God always sells what we are trying to buy or gives us an uneasiness that we should not proceed. We have missed opportunities and good deals along the way, but God has protected us over and over what might bring us to ruin in the future by not walking in front of Him. If you are married, listen to the opinion of your spouse. Often one has insight that the other might not have.
What if the decision is not God's will or what if we did what we thought we should do and had a peace and we lose our job or make a financial deal that costs us? People suffer all kinds of hardships, physically, emotionally, financially. James says, if any of you lacks wisdom He should ask God. This is how you should pray, Our Father who is in Heaven, hallowed by Your name, Your kingdom come, your will be done, on earth as it is in Heaven. Give us this day, our daily bread...Matt 6:9-11. There is one place that I know is secure. God knows everything that is going to happen before it even occurs. God is in control of everything. If I lack anything and I ask in HIS name, especially when it comes to my physical needs, He says He will provide. If I ask Him to win the lottery, I don't think He will honor that. But if I ask Him for bread to feed my family, do I know He will provide? Absolutely!
We might suffer for a period of time without work, we might have to live with financial choices that might not have been the wisest and it takes time to recover. We might have to face sickness. But He promises us that He will never leave us or forsake us. There is a purpose for all of it, the good and the bad. One day, in the future, there will be no more disappointments or speed bumps. While we are here, He is with us, regardless of how many detours we may make.
Wednesday, February 23, 2011
A Picture is Worth A Thousand Words
We spend our whole life accumulating; houses, cars, clothes, jewelry, furniture. For our first move we rent a one room trailer or even the back of a pick up truck or two. When we are moving a family to get a bigger house, we rent a semi. At the end of our life, we spend our days giving away; clothes, jewelry, furniture. Many call it downsizing! Until one day, we are reduced to a one bedroom apartment, less than 1000 square feet.
Every time I spend an afternoon with my grandparents, I am reduced to tears, thinking about life in general. Our perspective is so skewed. We live hustling from here to there with every moment full of some activitiy. At the end of life, we may have outlived all of our friends and even some of our family members. Life is full of silence, remembering our life from the past. No longer are things of value to us. No longer are we the center of someone else's existence. We just sit remembering!
My grandma Mary doesn't remember my name or the names of my family. To her, when I walk in the room I am "Hi honey". She knows that I am her granddaughter, that I belong to her and are a part of her family. I bring her favorite veggie burger, a breath of fresh air from the food that is the same although it is quite decent. She tells me again and again how much food I have brought that it is too much. I sit and listen to countless stories that I have heard 100 times before. Sometimes we don't say much. I help them reorganize and throw empty boxes away or just sit and listen. Then we sit and look at old photo albums. A huge smile comes across my sweet grandma's face remembering times we spent as a family. She remembers the day she graduated, her wedding day, being with her sister, grandpa coming home from the army in WW2. She smiles at all of the holiday celebrations and reunions that we were together as a family.
All of these memories are like strings forming a tapestry, they are a patchwork of happy memories that once were and sad ones of how distance and events can create space among its members. Every family has a tapestry. How blessed you are if you have relationships with extended members not just your own immediate family. How blessed my kids have been that it has always been a priority for Paul and I to allow the kids to spend time with family outside of our own little world. Although not all family gatherings are fun or exciting, they still form the quiltwork of our life and who we are.
If you have a camera, do you document events with friends and family? Do you include yourself in the pictures? Do you have priorties to visit family members from time to time, regardless of distance, do you try to keep in contact with them? How do you view your family, are they a blessing or a curse?
Every time I spend an afternoon with my grandparents, I am reduced to tears, thinking about life in general. Our perspective is so skewed. We live hustling from here to there with every moment full of some activitiy. At the end of life, we may have outlived all of our friends and even some of our family members. Life is full of silence, remembering our life from the past. No longer are things of value to us. No longer are we the center of someone else's existence. We just sit remembering!
My grandma Mary doesn't remember my name or the names of my family. To her, when I walk in the room I am "Hi honey". She knows that I am her granddaughter, that I belong to her and are a part of her family. I bring her favorite veggie burger, a breath of fresh air from the food that is the same although it is quite decent. She tells me again and again how much food I have brought that it is too much. I sit and listen to countless stories that I have heard 100 times before. Sometimes we don't say much. I help them reorganize and throw empty boxes away or just sit and listen. Then we sit and look at old photo albums. A huge smile comes across my sweet grandma's face remembering times we spent as a family. She remembers the day she graduated, her wedding day, being with her sister, grandpa coming home from the army in WW2. She smiles at all of the holiday celebrations and reunions that we were together as a family.
All of these memories are like strings forming a tapestry, they are a patchwork of happy memories that once were and sad ones of how distance and events can create space among its members. Every family has a tapestry. How blessed you are if you have relationships with extended members not just your own immediate family. How blessed my kids have been that it has always been a priority for Paul and I to allow the kids to spend time with family outside of our own little world. Although not all family gatherings are fun or exciting, they still form the quiltwork of our life and who we are.
If you have a camera, do you document events with friends and family? Do you include yourself in the pictures? Do you have priorties to visit family members from time to time, regardless of distance, do you try to keep in contact with them? How do you view your family, are they a blessing or a curse?
When the person you love leaves this earth, sometimes the picture is all the physical evidence that remains! In the end, when our memory is gone, pictures still remain to help us remember what once was.
Tuesday, February 22, 2011
No Place Like Home
Where do we abundantly live?
Is it a place, a physical structure, a state of mind? What images come to mind for you when you think of home? Do you think about your childhood home and memories when you were growing up? Do you think about friends that you have grown up with? Do you think about the town that is so familiar to you?
For me I have no certain "home town" that comes to mind. We moved a lot when I was a kid. Every time I made a best friend, we were saying goodbye. All of our life experiences shape who we are and what we want life to look like in the future. As Paul and I were first starting our family, I always dreamed of our kids being born and graduating in the same place, their "home town". While raising kids in Scottsdale has so many challenges, our kids have learned so many lessons being rooted in the same place. By having the same childhood friends you learn how to work out problems and learn the meaning of forgiveness. The kids have attended the same school, the same church for many years, they have had the same dentists and doctors. Their is familiarity about having your favorite restaurants and seeing the same people who work there day in and day out. Do you know people you see by name?
Next, I come to our physical dwelling, our house. It is so important to us because each room holds many memories and "things" that are important to us. My living room has always been a welcome place for all who live here and come to visit. It has always been our desire that no matter who comes to be part of our family, whether it is friends, neighbor kids, the kids' friends or family members when they come they will feel they are loved and accepted. Many important decisions have been made just hanging out discussing life there. In my living room is our piano. It is an instrument that brings great joy. I play when I want to worship God, and I love each student that comes to learn to love music in this place. Music is a way to express yourself especially when there are not words to say how you feel. Our family room is a place of fun, games are played there, movies are watched, it is a place to relax, sit by the fire, or just hang out.
The kids bedrooms each reflect who they are. Dylan has loved green since he was born. Although it is a mix of sports and planes, green is part of who Dylan is...Abby's room is full of horses, from her bedspread to the pictures that her father has so lovingly taken and neatly framed. Two very important pieces remain, a childhood table that my father sanded and stained for her and a nicknack shelf that he made for her that I carefully stenciled when she was little. They are two keepsakes reminding her of how much her grandfather loved her while he was here with us on earth!
My kitchen is my favorite place. Paul tore it apart with his own hands and we spent two years redesigning how it would be remodelled. We picked out every part of it from the cabinets to the countertops, appliances and lighting. Part of what makes it special was that one of our best friends put the kitchen in. It is where I love to spend the majority of my time, baking and making things for others to enjoy. I learned the art of baking and cooking for those that I love from my grandma. I watched over the years how she blessed others with what her hands made. I find the same joy in blessing others as she did.
The best part of home is that it is a place that we can call our own. It is a true reflection of who we are as people. It has our favorite colors, filled with the smells of what we like, animals that we love, memories that we have shared and continue to share with others. We study the bible here with others, we have people over for meals, we have holiday celebrations, we celebrate life with old friends and welcome new friends into our life. It is a place that we share in the sorrows as well as the celebrations of life. There truly is NO PLACE LIKE HOME!!!!
Is it a place, a physical structure, a state of mind? What images come to mind for you when you think of home? Do you think about your childhood home and memories when you were growing up? Do you think about friends that you have grown up with? Do you think about the town that is so familiar to you?
For me I have no certain "home town" that comes to mind. We moved a lot when I was a kid. Every time I made a best friend, we were saying goodbye. All of our life experiences shape who we are and what we want life to look like in the future. As Paul and I were first starting our family, I always dreamed of our kids being born and graduating in the same place, their "home town". While raising kids in Scottsdale has so many challenges, our kids have learned so many lessons being rooted in the same place. By having the same childhood friends you learn how to work out problems and learn the meaning of forgiveness. The kids have attended the same school, the same church for many years, they have had the same dentists and doctors. Their is familiarity about having your favorite restaurants and seeing the same people who work there day in and day out. Do you know people you see by name?
Next, I come to our physical dwelling, our house. It is so important to us because each room holds many memories and "things" that are important to us. My living room has always been a welcome place for all who live here and come to visit. It has always been our desire that no matter who comes to be part of our family, whether it is friends, neighbor kids, the kids' friends or family members when they come they will feel they are loved and accepted. Many important decisions have been made just hanging out discussing life there. In my living room is our piano. It is an instrument that brings great joy. I play when I want to worship God, and I love each student that comes to learn to love music in this place. Music is a way to express yourself especially when there are not words to say how you feel. Our family room is a place of fun, games are played there, movies are watched, it is a place to relax, sit by the fire, or just hang out.
The kids bedrooms each reflect who they are. Dylan has loved green since he was born. Although it is a mix of sports and planes, green is part of who Dylan is...Abby's room is full of horses, from her bedspread to the pictures that her father has so lovingly taken and neatly framed. Two very important pieces remain, a childhood table that my father sanded and stained for her and a nicknack shelf that he made for her that I carefully stenciled when she was little. They are two keepsakes reminding her of how much her grandfather loved her while he was here with us on earth!
My kitchen is my favorite place. Paul tore it apart with his own hands and we spent two years redesigning how it would be remodelled. We picked out every part of it from the cabinets to the countertops, appliances and lighting. Part of what makes it special was that one of our best friends put the kitchen in. It is where I love to spend the majority of my time, baking and making things for others to enjoy. I learned the art of baking and cooking for those that I love from my grandma. I watched over the years how she blessed others with what her hands made. I find the same joy in blessing others as she did.
The best part of home is that it is a place that we can call our own. It is a true reflection of who we are as people. It has our favorite colors, filled with the smells of what we like, animals that we love, memories that we have shared and continue to share with others. We study the bible here with others, we have people over for meals, we have holiday celebrations, we celebrate life with old friends and welcome new friends into our life. It is a place that we share in the sorrows as well as the celebrations of life. There truly is NO PLACE LIKE HOME!!!!
Sunday, February 20, 2011
Livin on the Edge
Kids are always seeking a thrill; "I dare you to jump out of the tree!" How fast can you go down that hill on your skate board? I bet you can't jump that ramp on your bike? One day last week, I looked at one of my sweet male piano students who had a black eye. How did you get that black eye, I asked. He replied, "When I jumped off the wall (6 ft high), I crashed into the table on the other side of the wall."
Last weekend and this weekend we will spend time watching our sons and daughters jumping their horses 3' to 4.5' high in a show in Tucson. It is an adrelanine rush for them. Us too, but in a different way, praying that the horse and rider will jump and land safely. Each jump has them and us on the edge of our seats! In essence we are all livin on the edge.
What happens to a human being as they age? Do they lose their zeal, their need for speed, that adrelanine rush? Do the responsibilities of life and others come before the need to rock out of our comfort zone? Does wisdom take over remembering the falls, failures or just fear of taking a risk at something untried? What happens to us as individuals though when we just live day to day in the safety of our routines and the known? At one point do we lose our desire to live on the edge?
I see the choices of adults all around me that have decided to settle in without zeal or passion, looking for some excitement in their life. Some have reverted to drugs of all kinds, alchohol, weed, prescription, etc. They want to escape into the exciting or escape from the life that they are living. Others have chosen affairs, looking for excitement outside of their proven marriages and families risking it all. Many are seeking to live on the edge again, looking for freedom or escape of all their responsibilities. But for many, this escape ruins their life as well as all the lives around them! Their choices outweigh the consequences to seek the quick thrill.
As many around me are looking at life, looking back seeing that probably 1/2 of their life is behind them they are asking questions.What have I done with my life? Have I conquered the world? Have I made an astounding difference in anyone's life? Am I rich or famous? What am I passionate towards?
Passion in its definition means an irresistible motive for a belief or action, any object of warm affection or devotion. Kids have that need for action, it is impossible for them to sit still. They are looking for that next trick or adrelanine rush. Make no mistake when I talk about passion and taking risks I am no way suggesting that we should do anything contrary to what the Word of God has to say! I live by the Bible in every way, word and deed, that is one of my greatest passions. I am not suggesting, Oh, you are bored, go get a divorce or get smashed. I am saying find something of value and worth, and be passionate about it! Find something that you have always desired to try and take the plunge.
I often think about the movie "The Bucket List". If you haven't seen it, you should! It is worth seeing more than once. What would you like to try that you never have before? Do you have things that are on your "to do" list? What are you waiting for? Are you waiting to raise the kids, finish a project, pay things off? What if it never happens? What if you put it off and put it off until you no longer have your health?
From time to time we have tried new things. We tried surfing several years back. We weren't very good at it but it was fun. At 40 I tried to ride a motorcycle. Again I wasn't very good but it was fun to do with Paul and the kids. Two years ago I tried riding my daughter's horse. For a couple of times it was fun until I fell off and decided that it was very painful to hit the ground. I gave up! I gave in to the fear of trying again. We've been downhill skiing the past few winters. I love it even though I have a big fear of heights, especially when I get to the top of a very steep hill and look to the bottom. The feeling almost makes me past out. I know I can do it though because I just look a little ahead concentrating at taking one step at a time, one S turn at a time, knowing that I will get down, granted not as fast as the rest of the family but I will be able to overcome it. It is all the better to try something new with those that you love! I will say that Paul is in great shape and can keep up with the kids far better than I can which is why he works out so much! Breaking out of our comfort zone also builds family memories that will last a lifetime and keeps life fresh for all of us!
I think fear keeps us from doing so many things. What will people think of me when I do this? How can I do this when I am responsible for this and this? How can we afford this? What are you waiting for? All of these things are just excuses!
What are you passionate about? What will it take to bring you out of your comfort zone? How are you impacting those around you? Have you lost zeal in your life? What risks can you take to make a difference? Are you willing to live on the edge?
Last weekend and this weekend we will spend time watching our sons and daughters jumping their horses 3' to 4.5' high in a show in Tucson. It is an adrelanine rush for them. Us too, but in a different way, praying that the horse and rider will jump and land safely. Each jump has them and us on the edge of our seats! In essence we are all livin on the edge.
What happens to a human being as they age? Do they lose their zeal, their need for speed, that adrelanine rush? Do the responsibilities of life and others come before the need to rock out of our comfort zone? Does wisdom take over remembering the falls, failures or just fear of taking a risk at something untried? What happens to us as individuals though when we just live day to day in the safety of our routines and the known? At one point do we lose our desire to live on the edge?
I see the choices of adults all around me that have decided to settle in without zeal or passion, looking for some excitement in their life. Some have reverted to drugs of all kinds, alchohol, weed, prescription, etc. They want to escape into the exciting or escape from the life that they are living. Others have chosen affairs, looking for excitement outside of their proven marriages and families risking it all. Many are seeking to live on the edge again, looking for freedom or escape of all their responsibilities. But for many, this escape ruins their life as well as all the lives around them! Their choices outweigh the consequences to seek the quick thrill.
As many around me are looking at life, looking back seeing that probably 1/2 of their life is behind them they are asking questions.What have I done with my life? Have I conquered the world? Have I made an astounding difference in anyone's life? Am I rich or famous? What am I passionate towards?
Passion in its definition means an irresistible motive for a belief or action, any object of warm affection or devotion. Kids have that need for action, it is impossible for them to sit still. They are looking for that next trick or adrelanine rush. Make no mistake when I talk about passion and taking risks I am no way suggesting that we should do anything contrary to what the Word of God has to say! I live by the Bible in every way, word and deed, that is one of my greatest passions. I am not suggesting, Oh, you are bored, go get a divorce or get smashed. I am saying find something of value and worth, and be passionate about it! Find something that you have always desired to try and take the plunge.
I often think about the movie "The Bucket List". If you haven't seen it, you should! It is worth seeing more than once. What would you like to try that you never have before? Do you have things that are on your "to do" list? What are you waiting for? Are you waiting to raise the kids, finish a project, pay things off? What if it never happens? What if you put it off and put it off until you no longer have your health?
From time to time we have tried new things. We tried surfing several years back. We weren't very good at it but it was fun. At 40 I tried to ride a motorcycle. Again I wasn't very good but it was fun to do with Paul and the kids. Two years ago I tried riding my daughter's horse. For a couple of times it was fun until I fell off and decided that it was very painful to hit the ground. I gave up! I gave in to the fear of trying again. We've been downhill skiing the past few winters. I love it even though I have a big fear of heights, especially when I get to the top of a very steep hill and look to the bottom. The feeling almost makes me past out. I know I can do it though because I just look a little ahead concentrating at taking one step at a time, one S turn at a time, knowing that I will get down, granted not as fast as the rest of the family but I will be able to overcome it. It is all the better to try something new with those that you love! I will say that Paul is in great shape and can keep up with the kids far better than I can which is why he works out so much! Breaking out of our comfort zone also builds family memories that will last a lifetime and keeps life fresh for all of us!
I think fear keeps us from doing so many things. What will people think of me when I do this? How can I do this when I am responsible for this and this? How can we afford this? What are you waiting for? All of these things are just excuses!
What are you passionate about? What will it take to bring you out of your comfort zone? How are you impacting those around you? Have you lost zeal in your life? What risks can you take to make a difference? Are you willing to live on the edge?
Saturday, February 19, 2011
Be Still
Be Still and Know that I am God.
You have no idea how hard it is for me to be still! So many people have said that it is important to sit still, meditate, read God's Word, be quiet! I truly think I have a touch of ADD. My thoughts race at a glacial pace, thinking about Paul, the kids, work, school, the kids's activities. To sit still is a monumental task for me!
God has a quiet way of putting us in that place when we can't. Either I get sick or one of the kids gets sick. All of the hustle and the bustle screeches to a grinding halt and we are at home, peaceful and quiet. You hit a wall and are forced to rest!
Sundays are set aside for that too, did you know that? It's called the Sabbath. But we continue to look at Sunday as a day to catch up on all that we are behind in. Did you know that He established the day, not for HIS benefit but for ours. Yes, I too am guilty of not always setting aside Sundays for rest and I think at the end of the day, my whole family pays the price.
Part of living life abundantly is resting! This is hard for me for it is another piece of self discipline. I truly love being a night owl, staying up late at night. However, when I stay up late, I am still forced to be up with the kids at 6:30 a.m. With only six hours of sleep I get run down, short of patience, not being able to give anyone my best. This is one of the greatest things I have struggled with in recent years. I have friends who say, we always go to bed at 9 a.m. That means all activity has to stop and the kids have to have the same bedtime, 7:30 or 8. That is a hard task to accomplish when there are nights we are doing homework until 8 after sports are finished. Life is all about balance for everyone. When one factor is out of place, everyone is out of balace.
The bottom line with rest is that God has designed our bodies to rest. To hear His voice I have to be in a frame of mind and body to be silent. When have you ever heard of God screaming at someone? He almost always speaks in a whisper!!! Do you struggle with resting? Please don't tell me you can sit still and be still, it will only make me feel worse! Count it a blessing if that is one of your gifts!!! He will speak to you again and again if you are listening. If you are in a quiet down time in your life through illness or are waiting for the next place to serve, count your blessings! It will soon pass and you will be forced to be intentional about being still and waiting to hear from God.
You have no idea how hard it is for me to be still! So many people have said that it is important to sit still, meditate, read God's Word, be quiet! I truly think I have a touch of ADD. My thoughts race at a glacial pace, thinking about Paul, the kids, work, school, the kids's activities. To sit still is a monumental task for me!
God has a quiet way of putting us in that place when we can't. Either I get sick or one of the kids gets sick. All of the hustle and the bustle screeches to a grinding halt and we are at home, peaceful and quiet. You hit a wall and are forced to rest!
Sundays are set aside for that too, did you know that? It's called the Sabbath. But we continue to look at Sunday as a day to catch up on all that we are behind in. Did you know that He established the day, not for HIS benefit but for ours. Yes, I too am guilty of not always setting aside Sundays for rest and I think at the end of the day, my whole family pays the price.
Part of living life abundantly is resting! This is hard for me for it is another piece of self discipline. I truly love being a night owl, staying up late at night. However, when I stay up late, I am still forced to be up with the kids at 6:30 a.m. With only six hours of sleep I get run down, short of patience, not being able to give anyone my best. This is one of the greatest things I have struggled with in recent years. I have friends who say, we always go to bed at 9 a.m. That means all activity has to stop and the kids have to have the same bedtime, 7:30 or 8. That is a hard task to accomplish when there are nights we are doing homework until 8 after sports are finished. Life is all about balance for everyone. When one factor is out of place, everyone is out of balace.
The bottom line with rest is that God has designed our bodies to rest. To hear His voice I have to be in a frame of mind and body to be silent. When have you ever heard of God screaming at someone? He almost always speaks in a whisper!!! Do you struggle with resting? Please don't tell me you can sit still and be still, it will only make me feel worse! Count it a blessing if that is one of your gifts!!! He will speak to you again and again if you are listening. If you are in a quiet down time in your life through illness or are waiting for the next place to serve, count your blessings! It will soon pass and you will be forced to be intentional about being still and waiting to hear from God.
Thursday, February 17, 2011
Matters of the Heart
Valentines Day
Loved reading how all my friends celebrated the day. Our family tradition is spending it together. We have made a conscious choice to include our children. We have a special dinner followed by "fun dip" as Dylan calls it. After dinner I melt chocolate and we dip fruit and rice crispy treats and marshmellows. It is so fun to watch Dylan not only have chocolate cover his entire face and body but as he hits the ceiling after the sugar hits his system. Paul was given the "special plate" used at special occasions. Dylan was a little miffed. I reminded him that his dad was and is my original valentine before my kids were even thought about and that he would always have that place of honor in my heart. I also told Dylan that he was blessed that we chose to include him and not have dinner out away from the family.
Life is so short! While it is so important to tend to the needs of marriage, it is equally important to build lasting traditions in the hearts and minds of our children, to bond them to the confines of "family", a dying breed. Dinners, nights at home are lost behind, sports, music lessons, church functions. All these things are good but steal away from being together!
In thinking about Valentines Day so much emphasis is placed on the emotions of the heart. I have been reflecting that there is also the physical and spiritual side to the heart. Yesterday I read a letter from a family friend. I have known Marv since I was born. He has had two years of touch and go moments with his physical heart, as a matter of fact, he had a life and death experience. It reminded me that God numbers our days, He knows exactly how many days we will live on this earth even before we are born. We need our physical heart to live. It is God who creates our heart and sustains it to continue beating. Without it, our body cannot function. How do I take care of the heart HE has given me? Does every day of my life count for Him? Do I spend the days HE has given wisely or do I just walk through life mindlessly? Am I intentional about how I spend my time?
What about the spiritual side of our heart? Out of our heart flows goodness and evil. What comes out of our mouth is what is born in our heart. Is it our head or our heart that chooses whether we will love and follow God, our heart! It seems that the core of our being comes from our heart. Is my heart right with God? What if He doesn't give me tomorrow? Where will I end up for eternity? I have the peaceful assurance that because I have asked God to forgive my sins and to be in control of my life I will be assured a place in heaven. I know that beyond a shadow of a doubt! How about you? Do you know where you will spend eternity? What kind of shape is your heart in...emotionally, physically, spiritually?
Loved reading how all my friends celebrated the day. Our family tradition is spending it together. We have made a conscious choice to include our children. We have a special dinner followed by "fun dip" as Dylan calls it. After dinner I melt chocolate and we dip fruit and rice crispy treats and marshmellows. It is so fun to watch Dylan not only have chocolate cover his entire face and body but as he hits the ceiling after the sugar hits his system. Paul was given the "special plate" used at special occasions. Dylan was a little miffed. I reminded him that his dad was and is my original valentine before my kids were even thought about and that he would always have that place of honor in my heart. I also told Dylan that he was blessed that we chose to include him and not have dinner out away from the family.
Life is so short! While it is so important to tend to the needs of marriage, it is equally important to build lasting traditions in the hearts and minds of our children, to bond them to the confines of "family", a dying breed. Dinners, nights at home are lost behind, sports, music lessons, church functions. All these things are good but steal away from being together!
In thinking about Valentines Day so much emphasis is placed on the emotions of the heart. I have been reflecting that there is also the physical and spiritual side to the heart. Yesterday I read a letter from a family friend. I have known Marv since I was born. He has had two years of touch and go moments with his physical heart, as a matter of fact, he had a life and death experience. It reminded me that God numbers our days, He knows exactly how many days we will live on this earth even before we are born. We need our physical heart to live. It is God who creates our heart and sustains it to continue beating. Without it, our body cannot function. How do I take care of the heart HE has given me? Does every day of my life count for Him? Do I spend the days HE has given wisely or do I just walk through life mindlessly? Am I intentional about how I spend my time?
What about the spiritual side of our heart? Out of our heart flows goodness and evil. What comes out of our mouth is what is born in our heart. Is it our head or our heart that chooses whether we will love and follow God, our heart! It seems that the core of our being comes from our heart. Is my heart right with God? What if He doesn't give me tomorrow? Where will I end up for eternity? I have the peaceful assurance that because I have asked God to forgive my sins and to be in control of my life I will be assured a place in heaven. I know that beyond a shadow of a doubt! How about you? Do you know where you will spend eternity? What kind of shape is your heart in...emotionally, physically, spiritually?
Friday, February 11, 2011
Love your Friends as Yourself
A friend loves at all times. Proverbs 17:17
A man of many companions may come to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother. Proverbs 18:24
Someone once said, to have a friend it means you have to be a friend. When you are young, church, school, sports, music lessons throw you into constant environments where you are meeting people. You are learning the do's and don't in social environments. As we grow older it is difficult to make and maintain quality friendships.
As you grow older you realize there are different levels of friendship. Friends can be met in all kinds of different environments such as scouting, sports, church, homeschooling co-ops, volunteer work. We have our own individual friends as well as couple friends, friends through our kids and childhood friends. Some friends move away and we only keep in contact every so often or some friends we only send Christmas cards to once a year. I often tell my kids if you have friends that you can count on one hand who are friends through thick and thin, they could be near or far away, you are truly blessed. Some friends are like a sibling, friends for a lifetime.
I found this poem in Friends of the Heart by Emilie Barnes and Donna Otto.
The ABC's of Friendship
Accepts you as you are
Believes in you
Calls just to say hi
Doesn't give up on you
Envisions you to be your best
Forgives mistakes
Gives unconditionally
Helps when needed
Invites you over
Just hangs out with you
Keeps a confidence
Loves them no matter what
Makes a difference in each other's life
Never judges
Offers support
Picks the other up
Quiets their fears
Raises their spirits
Speaks kindness
Tells the truth
Understands
Walks beside you
Xplains their feelings
Yells when you won't listen
Zaps you into reality
What kind of friend are you? How do you spend your time when you are with a friend? Are you positive or do you spend your time complaining? Do you practice giving as well as receiving, listening as well as talking? Do you offer support to those around you? Do you encourage others to make a difference? Are you happy for your friend to have other friends as well?
Do you seek out friends who are positive people? Do you like when you have been in the presence of a positive friend? Do you challenge others to challenge you to grow; physically, spiritually, emotionally? Do you speak to others with truth and kindness? What kind of friends do you want to surround yourself with?
A man of many companions may come to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother. Proverbs 18:24
Someone once said, to have a friend it means you have to be a friend. When you are young, church, school, sports, music lessons throw you into constant environments where you are meeting people. You are learning the do's and don't in social environments. As we grow older it is difficult to make and maintain quality friendships.
As you grow older you realize there are different levels of friendship. Friends can be met in all kinds of different environments such as scouting, sports, church, homeschooling co-ops, volunteer work. We have our own individual friends as well as couple friends, friends through our kids and childhood friends. Some friends move away and we only keep in contact every so often or some friends we only send Christmas cards to once a year. I often tell my kids if you have friends that you can count on one hand who are friends through thick and thin, they could be near or far away, you are truly blessed. Some friends are like a sibling, friends for a lifetime.
I found this poem in Friends of the Heart by Emilie Barnes and Donna Otto.
The ABC's of Friendship
Accepts you as you are
Believes in you
Calls just to say hi
Doesn't give up on you
Envisions you to be your best
Forgives mistakes
Gives unconditionally
Helps when needed
Invites you over
Just hangs out with you
Keeps a confidence
Loves them no matter what
Makes a difference in each other's life
Never judges
Offers support
Picks the other up
Quiets their fears
Raises their spirits
Speaks kindness
Tells the truth
Understands
Walks beside you
Xplains their feelings
Yells when you won't listen
Zaps you into reality
What kind of friend are you? How do you spend your time when you are with a friend? Are you positive or do you spend your time complaining? Do you practice giving as well as receiving, listening as well as talking? Do you offer support to those around you? Do you encourage others to make a difference? Are you happy for your friend to have other friends as well?
Do you seek out friends who are positive people? Do you like when you have been in the presence of a positive friend? Do you challenge others to challenge you to grow; physically, spiritually, emotionally? Do you speak to others with truth and kindness? What kind of friends do you want to surround yourself with?
Wednesday, February 9, 2011
Love Your Parents as Yourself
Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. Honor your father and mother which is the first commandment with a promise that is may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth. Ephesians 6:1-3
I have often heard it said that the first verse, obey your parents is when you are growing up as a child and then a teenager. Honor your father and mother is when you are an adult and your parents are aging.
What does honor your parents really mean? The dictionary says honor is a showing of usually merited respect or recognition. It is a hard balance as you come into adulthood to humble yourself and listen to someone else who is older and to make your own decisions regardless of the advice your receive. Somewhere between 12 and 25, parents and those who are a little older somehow don't know very much. As a college student, we gained an education and had high hopes of changing the world. When you move into your 30's raising a family, you realize that you have limited experience and can use advice from those who are older. Beyond your 30's you realize that there is so much in life that you don't know, there are so many who are more wise. You will spend the rest of your life learning.
I think honor is taking time to be with your parents. Every relationship is different. Some people have very close relationships with one or both parents. If you are really blessed you might have a great relationship with your in-laws as well. With a great relationship you can spend countless hours, or days with the person that you are close to. Other relationships are broken or dysfunctional and just to spend a few hours with that person can be a challenge. For some, distance stands between you and your parents. We have made it a priority to make a trip every summer to spend time with family far away. For relationships that are difficult, short visits like a few hours or dinner out is a great solution to show honor.
Many of my friends are watching their parents age. As they age, somehow roles reverse and senility creeps in. Bodies and minds fail and now children are forced into care giving roles. Honor still applies no matter what age your parents become. As long as they are able to care for themselves and make their own decisions, I think honor and respect allows them to be individuals. I have heard children talk down to their parents, yell at them, lecture them, in effect demeaning them and robbing their parents of dignity. All of these behaviors are opposite of honor. In the end, I ask myself, by loving your parents as yourself, as they are aging, "How would I want to be treated?" If I was put in an elderly care place, what kind of place would I want to be? How would I want to be treated by my children and others who are caring for me?
The last part of the verse above is "that it may go well with you and may you have a long life."The first part is a command, Honor your Parents. The second part is a promise. You will have a great life in the end if you follow this command. My children are watching our example of how we treat our parents and grandparents. It is my prayer that they will take care of us if we have to stay here on this earth in our old age.
How do you treat your parents as well as in-laws or your grandparents? Do you treat them with respect and honor? Do you make time to visit them? Do you talk to them with dignity? What do you want your life to look like when you age? It is a reality for all of us!!!
I have often heard it said that the first verse, obey your parents is when you are growing up as a child and then a teenager. Honor your father and mother is when you are an adult and your parents are aging.
What does honor your parents really mean? The dictionary says honor is a showing of usually merited respect or recognition. It is a hard balance as you come into adulthood to humble yourself and listen to someone else who is older and to make your own decisions regardless of the advice your receive. Somewhere between 12 and 25, parents and those who are a little older somehow don't know very much. As a college student, we gained an education and had high hopes of changing the world. When you move into your 30's raising a family, you realize that you have limited experience and can use advice from those who are older. Beyond your 30's you realize that there is so much in life that you don't know, there are so many who are more wise. You will spend the rest of your life learning.
I think honor is taking time to be with your parents. Every relationship is different. Some people have very close relationships with one or both parents. If you are really blessed you might have a great relationship with your in-laws as well. With a great relationship you can spend countless hours, or days with the person that you are close to. Other relationships are broken or dysfunctional and just to spend a few hours with that person can be a challenge. For some, distance stands between you and your parents. We have made it a priority to make a trip every summer to spend time with family far away. For relationships that are difficult, short visits like a few hours or dinner out is a great solution to show honor.
Many of my friends are watching their parents age. As they age, somehow roles reverse and senility creeps in. Bodies and minds fail and now children are forced into care giving roles. Honor still applies no matter what age your parents become. As long as they are able to care for themselves and make their own decisions, I think honor and respect allows them to be individuals. I have heard children talk down to their parents, yell at them, lecture them, in effect demeaning them and robbing their parents of dignity. All of these behaviors are opposite of honor. In the end, I ask myself, by loving your parents as yourself, as they are aging, "How would I want to be treated?" If I was put in an elderly care place, what kind of place would I want to be? How would I want to be treated by my children and others who are caring for me?
The last part of the verse above is "that it may go well with you and may you have a long life."The first part is a command, Honor your Parents. The second part is a promise. You will have a great life in the end if you follow this command. My children are watching our example of how we treat our parents and grandparents. It is my prayer that they will take care of us if we have to stay here on this earth in our old age.
How do you treat your parents as well as in-laws or your grandparents? Do you treat them with respect and honor? Do you make time to visit them? Do you talk to them with dignity? What do you want your life to look like when you age? It is a reality for all of us!!!
Tuesday, February 8, 2011
Love your Son(s) As Yourself
"It is easier to raise boys than to fix men."
I have so many stories to tell of what it is like to raise a son. Dylan is very cause and effect! He is adventurous, curious, not afraid to get dirty, try new things, loud, full of energy and quick to fix a problem. He is quick to tell you his opinion, a story or a joke. He doesn't lack words like many boys. He has smashed batteries to see what is inside, torn apart flashlights, smashed eggs to see if there was a chicken inside on the sofa landing in the carpet, created many experiments in the kitchen with numerous boxes of baking soda and bottles of vinegar. I have lost many tupperware containers to nature experiments and probably most of my teaspoons as well.
In essence, Dylan is very sensory-based. He has to experience everything through sight, hearing, touch and smell. He is impulsive and has a hard time sitting still for too long. He is extremely bright, brave and daring, he always want to make things happen. He can be bossy and a know it all. He is excels at everything he does if he puts in effort, struggles with losing and needs patience in carrying through with directions. I often have to look him in the eye if I want him to follow through. He is strong-willed, has tons of confidence, self-sufficient and a born leader.
We have found he does better with a set schedule, clear boundaries, clear consequences and consistent follow through. He loves it when you spend one on one time with him. Although we have our challenges, Dylan is such a fun, loving, party waiting to happen. He has always been known as the class clown and he brings fun into our home where we are pretty serious individuals. Often we find ourself praying and asking God for wisdom.
Boys! Shaping Ordinary Boys into Extraordinary Men by William Beausay II is a great resource. He suggests building qualities such as respect, disciplined habits, good habits, complete mastery of a skill and a spiritual foundation. One way we have encouraged mastery is that if one of our kids plays a sport or musical instrument, they must complete the season or year even if they hate it. We have not found a sport that Dylan LOVES but we keep trying many team sports hoping that some day soon he will find one he likes.
We are learning what Dylan's gifts and talents are and how to inspire him to do his best in everything. He has great potential and learning comes easily to him. Tim Kimmel's Grace Based Parenting talks about the perfect balance between Truth (Clear Rules) and Favor (Heart-connected Relationship). Rules without relationship leads to rebellion. Relationship without rules leads to resentment. Dylan has a very soft heart and grasps concepts about God quickly. We are working to establish a heart of gratitude and to respect others like yourself. I often say, if you aim at nothing, you gain nothing. We truly are believing that God will use Dylan in a mighty way some day, we just are instruments to guide his journey....
I have so many stories to tell of what it is like to raise a son. Dylan is very cause and effect! He is adventurous, curious, not afraid to get dirty, try new things, loud, full of energy and quick to fix a problem. He is quick to tell you his opinion, a story or a joke. He doesn't lack words like many boys. He has smashed batteries to see what is inside, torn apart flashlights, smashed eggs to see if there was a chicken inside on the sofa landing in the carpet, created many experiments in the kitchen with numerous boxes of baking soda and bottles of vinegar. I have lost many tupperware containers to nature experiments and probably most of my teaspoons as well.
In essence, Dylan is very sensory-based. He has to experience everything through sight, hearing, touch and smell. He is impulsive and has a hard time sitting still for too long. He is extremely bright, brave and daring, he always want to make things happen. He can be bossy and a know it all. He is excels at everything he does if he puts in effort, struggles with losing and needs patience in carrying through with directions. I often have to look him in the eye if I want him to follow through. He is strong-willed, has tons of confidence, self-sufficient and a born leader.
We have found he does better with a set schedule, clear boundaries, clear consequences and consistent follow through. He loves it when you spend one on one time with him. Although we have our challenges, Dylan is such a fun, loving, party waiting to happen. He has always been known as the class clown and he brings fun into our home where we are pretty serious individuals. Often we find ourself praying and asking God for wisdom.
Boys! Shaping Ordinary Boys into Extraordinary Men by William Beausay II is a great resource. He suggests building qualities such as respect, disciplined habits, good habits, complete mastery of a skill and a spiritual foundation. One way we have encouraged mastery is that if one of our kids plays a sport or musical instrument, they must complete the season or year even if they hate it. We have not found a sport that Dylan LOVES but we keep trying many team sports hoping that some day soon he will find one he likes.
We are learning what Dylan's gifts and talents are and how to inspire him to do his best in everything. He has great potential and learning comes easily to him. Tim Kimmel's Grace Based Parenting talks about the perfect balance between Truth (Clear Rules) and Favor (Heart-connected Relationship). Rules without relationship leads to rebellion. Relationship without rules leads to resentment. Dylan has a very soft heart and grasps concepts about God quickly. We are working to establish a heart of gratitude and to respect others like yourself. I often say, if you aim at nothing, you gain nothing. We truly are believing that God will use Dylan in a mighty way some day, we just are instruments to guide his journey....
Monday, February 7, 2011
Love Your Daughter(s) as Yourself
Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old, he will not turn from it. Proverbs 22:6
Having a daughter is a gift from God. Ever since she was a little girl, she has been my buddy, doing female kinds of activities! I took her everywhere and we did everything together, especially when dad was out of town. We still do. Although, now is she gaining some independence from us and doesn't always want me to come with. Those moments are bittersweet, joyful that she is wanting to branch out and be her own person and sad that we are raising her to fly away.
In generations past, parents always thought it was enough to provide food, clothing, shelter and teach their kids morals and a work ethic. As I grow older I see the our responsibilities are far greater. Underlying everything is to teach them God's two greatest commandments, Love God and Love others. Your moral characteristics fall under the first commandment and your relational attributes fall under the second commandment. What are some of the things we have been working on through the years with Abby?
Every child has some of our characteristics but they are also a unique individual. Abby by far is a perfectionist. She never quits. She wants nothing less than an A and has never received a B on her report card since 3rd grade. This brings challenges. I have told her since she was little that whether it was school, music, sports, that all we expect is her to do her best, nothing less. If she failed and was doing her best then are still proud of her. This type of personality always seeks to please. She is hard on herself without us inspiring that in her. A perfectionist can also tend to expect more from people than they have to give. We have been helping her try to extend grace to herself as well as others. Every human being is imperfect!
Some of her great qualities is that she is highly loyal to the people that she loves. She is sensitive to others and is deeply perceptive and can read a person well. She is a deep thinker and listens well before speaking. She is also a great debater especially when she is trying to gain something from us. She loves animals and is gentle in spirit. She is a lover of truth and is honest in how she feels and events that take place.
We have been challenged when to push her outside of her box, and when to stand back and just either give her space or give her a listening ear.
Gary Smalley has written a book called the Five Love Languages. It is a great book that talks about how each of us receive love. Quality time, Touch, Words of Affirmation, Acts of Service, and Gifts Given are the five languages. Abby wants our time and our words of affirmation. She loves us going out and watching her horseback lessons and shows. She thrives on praise for a job well done. We make a conscious effort to show her love in the way that speaks to her.
It is our highest goal for her that she will know who she is in God alone; that she is deeply loved by Him, not having anything to do with earning His love. We want her to know that she doesn't walk any journey alone, that she is the daughter of The King and has security in knowing that she has the keys to HIS kingdom. By knowing these principles it doesn't matter what anyone says or does to her, her self esteem is not based on how others view her. We live to please God, not men. It is my prayer that she will know an unconditional love from us, no matter what she says or does. That one day she will know what her purpose is here on earth. Finally I pray that we can partner with her in finding her gifts and talents so that she is willing to serve God and others with her time.
Tim Kimmel says, "God places no value on wealth, beauty, power and fame. True Greatness is a passionate love for God that shows itself in an unquenchable love and concern for others." To me that sums up the essence for her life in the future. Whether we think about the college she will attend, her future career, her future spouse or where she will live, if we can train her for true greatness, GOD will lead her in all of her future choices.
Having a daughter is a gift from God. Ever since she was a little girl, she has been my buddy, doing female kinds of activities! I took her everywhere and we did everything together, especially when dad was out of town. We still do. Although, now is she gaining some independence from us and doesn't always want me to come with. Those moments are bittersweet, joyful that she is wanting to branch out and be her own person and sad that we are raising her to fly away.
In generations past, parents always thought it was enough to provide food, clothing, shelter and teach their kids morals and a work ethic. As I grow older I see the our responsibilities are far greater. Underlying everything is to teach them God's two greatest commandments, Love God and Love others. Your moral characteristics fall under the first commandment and your relational attributes fall under the second commandment. What are some of the things we have been working on through the years with Abby?
Every child has some of our characteristics but they are also a unique individual. Abby by far is a perfectionist. She never quits. She wants nothing less than an A and has never received a B on her report card since 3rd grade. This brings challenges. I have told her since she was little that whether it was school, music, sports, that all we expect is her to do her best, nothing less. If she failed and was doing her best then are still proud of her. This type of personality always seeks to please. She is hard on herself without us inspiring that in her. A perfectionist can also tend to expect more from people than they have to give. We have been helping her try to extend grace to herself as well as others. Every human being is imperfect!
Some of her great qualities is that she is highly loyal to the people that she loves. She is sensitive to others and is deeply perceptive and can read a person well. She is a deep thinker and listens well before speaking. She is also a great debater especially when she is trying to gain something from us. She loves animals and is gentle in spirit. She is a lover of truth and is honest in how she feels and events that take place.
We have been challenged when to push her outside of her box, and when to stand back and just either give her space or give her a listening ear.
Gary Smalley has written a book called the Five Love Languages. It is a great book that talks about how each of us receive love. Quality time, Touch, Words of Affirmation, Acts of Service, and Gifts Given are the five languages. Abby wants our time and our words of affirmation. She loves us going out and watching her horseback lessons and shows. She thrives on praise for a job well done. We make a conscious effort to show her love in the way that speaks to her.
It is our highest goal for her that she will know who she is in God alone; that she is deeply loved by Him, not having anything to do with earning His love. We want her to know that she doesn't walk any journey alone, that she is the daughter of The King and has security in knowing that she has the keys to HIS kingdom. By knowing these principles it doesn't matter what anyone says or does to her, her self esteem is not based on how others view her. We live to please God, not men. It is my prayer that she will know an unconditional love from us, no matter what she says or does. That one day she will know what her purpose is here on earth. Finally I pray that we can partner with her in finding her gifts and talents so that she is willing to serve God and others with her time.
Tim Kimmel says, "God places no value on wealth, beauty, power and fame. True Greatness is a passionate love for God that shows itself in an unquenchable love and concern for others." To me that sums up the essence for her life in the future. Whether we think about the college she will attend, her future career, her future spouse or where she will live, if we can train her for true greatness, GOD will lead her in all of her future choices.
Friday, February 4, 2011
Love Your Role Model as Yourself
She is clothed with strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come. She speaks with wisdom, and faithful instruction is on her tongue. Proverbs 31: 25-26
Have you ever longed for a person outside of your family to walk this journey called life with you?
12 years ago, I felt such a void in my life that wouldn't subside. As I grow older, I realize that it takes a community to raise a child. One day my daughter will be grown and realize that her earthly mother had many imperfections. She already knows I have some, I have made it a point to bring it to her attention that I make mistakes and often it takes an I'm Sorry to make things right. However, it could be that she might wake up one day and say, I think I need a mentor, someone who I can talk to that will be objective without judging me or me hurting their feelings.
Years ago, I asked God to bring someone into my life and HE far exceeded my expectations!!! Diane is like a second mother to me, although she is too young to be my mom, she is filled with wisdom beyond her years. I have so many "Dianisms" that I often repeat to my kids as well as other friends. She raised a family and is now raising a grandchild.
Proverbs 31 talks about The Wife of Noble Character. Proverbs talks about bringing her husband no harm, working with her hands, providing food for her family, starting a business, helping the poor, extending her hand to the needy, making coverings for her bed, bringing respect to her husband from outsiders, watching over the affairs of her household and not being idle, fearing the Lord. I can honestly say after all of these years, my dear friend is all of these!
I could fill a book of how she has cared for her family; the most vivid picture being how she sat by her mother's bedside for months off and on, especially the last weeks of her mom's life. She has taken countless meals and visited young moms who were in the hospital or having their babies. My most precious memory was on Thanksgiving Day, 2001. I had to stay in the hospital for 4 days after the birth of Dylan. Paul was most graciously home, preparing Thanksgiving Dinner for my family, with Abby by his side. While my family was having dinner, Diane came up to the hospital and sat by my bedside. She brought me a piece of her homemade cheesecake which was absolutely fabulous, did I mention that she is an awesome cook too? On a holiday, she thought enough about me to come sit with me and she left her family for that period of time!
We have taken many walks together, cried together, prayed together. God has used her in my life in such a profound way. One of the biggest gifts of love that she ever gave to me was a blanket of many different patterns that she knitted for me. The thread is soft and I have run my fingers over the stitches time and time again. When I am cold or sad, I go for that blanket for I know what a sacrifice of time and work it was that she gave to me. When my dad died, I cried to the Lord that night and said, I feel so alone and He quietly reminded me that He had given Diane to me years before.
Diane is like a grandma to my kids, she is with them on their birthdays. She has gone to eat lunch with them at school and come to our annual Christmas Cookie Parties. She has had tea with Abby and I and was there to see her get her very first horse. Some people say that to be an influence on someone you have to have your act together, to be full of wisdom and knowledge, to have great spiritual insight. Diane didn't even know if she wanted to mentor me, but she had a servant's heart, filled with great love, not only for someone like me, but a greater heart loving Jesus.
If someone in your life has had a profound influence on you, tell them how much you love and appreciate them! I always say, don't wait until the person dies and everyone talks about them in their eulogy. Say what you feel today, for you never know if you or that person has tomorrow!
Do you feel a void in your life and need someone to walk the journey called life with you? Ask God, He will provide for you. Are there people in your life that you could influence? At every stage in life, there is someone that you can be an influence to. If you are a teenager in a sport or at school, there are always younger kids looking up to you, if you are in college, there are always teenagers wishing they could be you, if you are a new mom or dad, there are always newly married men or women who need a mentor, if you have children that are grown, there are always new parents that need a mentor. Are you open to making a difference in someone else's life?
Have you ever longed for a person outside of your family to walk this journey called life with you?
12 years ago, I felt such a void in my life that wouldn't subside. As I grow older, I realize that it takes a community to raise a child. One day my daughter will be grown and realize that her earthly mother had many imperfections. She already knows I have some, I have made it a point to bring it to her attention that I make mistakes and often it takes an I'm Sorry to make things right. However, it could be that she might wake up one day and say, I think I need a mentor, someone who I can talk to that will be objective without judging me or me hurting their feelings.
Years ago, I asked God to bring someone into my life and HE far exceeded my expectations!!! Diane is like a second mother to me, although she is too young to be my mom, she is filled with wisdom beyond her years. I have so many "Dianisms" that I often repeat to my kids as well as other friends. She raised a family and is now raising a grandchild.
Proverbs 31 talks about The Wife of Noble Character. Proverbs talks about bringing her husband no harm, working with her hands, providing food for her family, starting a business, helping the poor, extending her hand to the needy, making coverings for her bed, bringing respect to her husband from outsiders, watching over the affairs of her household and not being idle, fearing the Lord. I can honestly say after all of these years, my dear friend is all of these!
I could fill a book of how she has cared for her family; the most vivid picture being how she sat by her mother's bedside for months off and on, especially the last weeks of her mom's life. She has taken countless meals and visited young moms who were in the hospital or having their babies. My most precious memory was on Thanksgiving Day, 2001. I had to stay in the hospital for 4 days after the birth of Dylan. Paul was most graciously home, preparing Thanksgiving Dinner for my family, with Abby by his side. While my family was having dinner, Diane came up to the hospital and sat by my bedside. She brought me a piece of her homemade cheesecake which was absolutely fabulous, did I mention that she is an awesome cook too? On a holiday, she thought enough about me to come sit with me and she left her family for that period of time!
We have taken many walks together, cried together, prayed together. God has used her in my life in such a profound way. One of the biggest gifts of love that she ever gave to me was a blanket of many different patterns that she knitted for me. The thread is soft and I have run my fingers over the stitches time and time again. When I am cold or sad, I go for that blanket for I know what a sacrifice of time and work it was that she gave to me. When my dad died, I cried to the Lord that night and said, I feel so alone and He quietly reminded me that He had given Diane to me years before.
Diane is like a grandma to my kids, she is with them on their birthdays. She has gone to eat lunch with them at school and come to our annual Christmas Cookie Parties. She has had tea with Abby and I and was there to see her get her very first horse. Some people say that to be an influence on someone you have to have your act together, to be full of wisdom and knowledge, to have great spiritual insight. Diane didn't even know if she wanted to mentor me, but she had a servant's heart, filled with great love, not only for someone like me, but a greater heart loving Jesus.
If someone in your life has had a profound influence on you, tell them how much you love and appreciate them! I always say, don't wait until the person dies and everyone talks about them in their eulogy. Say what you feel today, for you never know if you or that person has tomorrow!
Do you feel a void in your life and need someone to walk the journey called life with you? Ask God, He will provide for you. Are there people in your life that you could influence? At every stage in life, there is someone that you can be an influence to. If you are a teenager in a sport or at school, there are always younger kids looking up to you, if you are in college, there are always teenagers wishing they could be you, if you are a new mom or dad, there are always newly married men or women who need a mentor, if you have children that are grown, there are always new parents that need a mentor. Are you open to making a difference in someone else's life?
Thursday, February 3, 2011
Love Your Spouse As Yourself
February...The LOVE Month
Do you know what God's Two Greatest Commandments were of all times?
Love, the Lord God with all Your Heart, Soul and Mind and Love Your Neighbor as Yourself.
Conditional Love loves a person's behavior or performance more than a person's character. Unconditional love accepts and loves the person for who they are; strengths as well as weaknesses. This kind of love encourages their spouse to become a better person, affirming their value and worth.
Love is a verb, some dictionaries describe it as an emotion or feeling. While it is that, it is more an act of the will, we don't HAVE to love, we choose to love. In marriage, it is a choice to STAY married through the good times as well as the bad times.
I Corinthians 13 describes love better than any quote or article the world has to offer. Love never gives up. Love cares more for others than self. Love doesn't want what it doesn't have. Love doesn't strut, doesn't boast or isn't proud, doesn't force itself on others, isn't always "me first". Love doesn't fly off the handle, keep score of the wrongs committed against us, doesn't revel when others grovel, takes pleasure in the flowering of truth, puts up with anything. Love trusts God always, always looks for the best in others, never looks back, but keeps going to the end. Love never dies.
Wow, that is a long list. It almost seems beyond our reach or our human capabilities. Without following the First Greatest Commandment, I can absolutely guarantee that it will be beyond your human resources.
What are some of the things that people look for in a marriage?
Acceptance - being warmly loved and received without conditions
Connection - being united at an emotional and physical level
Understanding - everyone wants someone to listen, to be heard and understood
Respect - Every man wants to be honored and appreciated
Validation - being able to express your thoughts and opinions without being evaluated or judged
Worth - feeling important to the other person
Honor - feeling like a priceless treasure
Support - being cared for in times of sickness, doubts, tiredness
Approval - being liked for who I am not who you think I should be
Affection - being touched, or words of affirmation
Some of you are living on top of the world and life and love couldn't be better. Celebrate the good times! Enjoy each other's company. Have lots of sex! Enjoy taking trips and being adventurous on dates! Take lots of pictures for others to see how happy you are! Freeze the moments and memories in your mind!
What if things aren't all that you would love them to be though? EVERYONE at some point will be in the valley!!! The only person that you can change is YOU! So many people get married thinking they can change the other person! That is such flawed thinking. As life progresses we ALL change! I have said so many times, "I am not my husband's Holy Spirit". This means if I sit nagging on his shoulder begging him to change, it will only agitate him, it won't spur towards change. The only person that I have the power to change, including my thoughts, my attitudes, and my actions is me!
If you find yourself in a place of discontentment, take the time to focus on all the things that you see in your spouse that you are thankful for. One day I sat down and wrote a list and off the top of my head in 15 minutes came up with a list of 60 character traits, that day wasn't a great one by the way! They were qualities like: loyalty, honesty, adventurous, full of wisdom and common sense, persevering, faithful, responsible, full of integrity, disciplined, a great father, fun, finds the best deals and the list went on and on.
The greatest gift you can give your spouse is to always speak the best about him or her to someone else in their absence as well as in their presence. Always keep a confidence. Don't go to bed angry, resolve your conflicts quickly, don't sweep them under the rug. Forgive 70x7, over and over again, don't bring up past conflicts. Choose your battles wisely, let the others go. Learn to live within your means so that your household is less stressful. Spend time together, go on dates once in awhile, with friends as well as alone. Find a common interest that you can do together. Encourage the other person to do things for themselves like lunch with a friend or going to a game. When you hit a rough spot, find outside support that believes in the sacredness of marriage and working things out. Listen to wise counsel. Say I love you daily and allow your kids to see you showing affection to each other. Do kind deeds for your spouse often. The greatest gift of all is praying for your partner. You can pray for things such as avoiding outside temptations, handling finances well, cultivating strong character qualities, being a good parent, choosing friends wisely, having a balance life, and growing in their faith with God.
So many people today believe that we have the "right to be happy". We are all human and we will not always be happy! God doesn't promise that to anyone. Sacred Marriage by Gary Thomas says "Man's view of marriage is that we will maintain our marriage as long as our earthly comforts, desire and expectations are met. God's view of marriage is that we preserve our marriage because it brings glory to God and it points the world to a God of reconciliation.
Are you willing to just settle for just getting by in marriage or do you long for the Abundant Life? What things do you need to change to be a better helpmate? Have both you and your spouse committed to "staying" no matter what circumstances may come along? What kind of legacy do you want to leave your kids, grandkids and generations to come?
Do you know what God's Two Greatest Commandments were of all times?
Love, the Lord God with all Your Heart, Soul and Mind and Love Your Neighbor as Yourself.
Conditional Love loves a person's behavior or performance more than a person's character. Unconditional love accepts and loves the person for who they are; strengths as well as weaknesses. This kind of love encourages their spouse to become a better person, affirming their value and worth.
Love is a verb, some dictionaries describe it as an emotion or feeling. While it is that, it is more an act of the will, we don't HAVE to love, we choose to love. In marriage, it is a choice to STAY married through the good times as well as the bad times.
I Corinthians 13 describes love better than any quote or article the world has to offer. Love never gives up. Love cares more for others than self. Love doesn't want what it doesn't have. Love doesn't strut, doesn't boast or isn't proud, doesn't force itself on others, isn't always "me first". Love doesn't fly off the handle, keep score of the wrongs committed against us, doesn't revel when others grovel, takes pleasure in the flowering of truth, puts up with anything. Love trusts God always, always looks for the best in others, never looks back, but keeps going to the end. Love never dies.
Wow, that is a long list. It almost seems beyond our reach or our human capabilities. Without following the First Greatest Commandment, I can absolutely guarantee that it will be beyond your human resources.
What are some of the things that people look for in a marriage?
Acceptance - being warmly loved and received without conditions
Connection - being united at an emotional and physical level
Understanding - everyone wants someone to listen, to be heard and understood
Respect - Every man wants to be honored and appreciated
Validation - being able to express your thoughts and opinions without being evaluated or judged
Worth - feeling important to the other person
Honor - feeling like a priceless treasure
Support - being cared for in times of sickness, doubts, tiredness
Approval - being liked for who I am not who you think I should be
Affection - being touched, or words of affirmation
Some of you are living on top of the world and life and love couldn't be better. Celebrate the good times! Enjoy each other's company. Have lots of sex! Enjoy taking trips and being adventurous on dates! Take lots of pictures for others to see how happy you are! Freeze the moments and memories in your mind!
What if things aren't all that you would love them to be though? EVERYONE at some point will be in the valley!!! The only person that you can change is YOU! So many people get married thinking they can change the other person! That is such flawed thinking. As life progresses we ALL change! I have said so many times, "I am not my husband's Holy Spirit". This means if I sit nagging on his shoulder begging him to change, it will only agitate him, it won't spur towards change. The only person that I have the power to change, including my thoughts, my attitudes, and my actions is me!
If you find yourself in a place of discontentment, take the time to focus on all the things that you see in your spouse that you are thankful for. One day I sat down and wrote a list and off the top of my head in 15 minutes came up with a list of 60 character traits, that day wasn't a great one by the way! They were qualities like: loyalty, honesty, adventurous, full of wisdom and common sense, persevering, faithful, responsible, full of integrity, disciplined, a great father, fun, finds the best deals and the list went on and on.
The greatest gift you can give your spouse is to always speak the best about him or her to someone else in their absence as well as in their presence. Always keep a confidence. Don't go to bed angry, resolve your conflicts quickly, don't sweep them under the rug. Forgive 70x7, over and over again, don't bring up past conflicts. Choose your battles wisely, let the others go. Learn to live within your means so that your household is less stressful. Spend time together, go on dates once in awhile, with friends as well as alone. Find a common interest that you can do together. Encourage the other person to do things for themselves like lunch with a friend or going to a game. When you hit a rough spot, find outside support that believes in the sacredness of marriage and working things out. Listen to wise counsel. Say I love you daily and allow your kids to see you showing affection to each other. Do kind deeds for your spouse often. The greatest gift of all is praying for your partner. You can pray for things such as avoiding outside temptations, handling finances well, cultivating strong character qualities, being a good parent, choosing friends wisely, having a balance life, and growing in their faith with God.
So many people today believe that we have the "right to be happy". We are all human and we will not always be happy! God doesn't promise that to anyone. Sacred Marriage by Gary Thomas says "Man's view of marriage is that we will maintain our marriage as long as our earthly comforts, desire and expectations are met. God's view of marriage is that we preserve our marriage because it brings glory to God and it points the world to a God of reconciliation.
Are you willing to just settle for just getting by in marriage or do you long for the Abundant Life? What things do you need to change to be a better helpmate? Have both you and your spouse committed to "staying" no matter what circumstances may come along? What kind of legacy do you want to leave your kids, grandkids and generations to come?
Wednesday, February 2, 2011
Mending Broken Hearts
Dealing with Life's Greatest Disappointments
Consider it pure joy, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perserverance. Perserverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. James 1:2-4
When I face disappointments or rejection it is hard. To walk through those things with a child is heart breaking. As a parent there are so many roles that you play; disciplinarian, teacher, coach, mentor, nurse, counselor, comforter. In all those roles, we have knowledge based upon things we have read, heard from others, or our own life experiences. At the end of the day, my human abilities fall short.
I have often thought and prayed that I want my children to have a better life than I did, it is the desire for some parents I think, unfortunately not everyone, but in most parents that are in our world. We don't want our children to suffer, to go through disappointments, rejection or heartache. We want to keep their innocense as long as possible for life only gets harder as they get older. We work, bear children, bury friends and parents, friends and family get divorced, sickness and strife. Everywhere we look there is suffering all around us.
Our daughter Abby has gone through some very disappointing times the past few years facing a lot of things I have described, and even a couple of very trying weeks. As a parent I would rather have these things happen to me then watch my child suffer. I often wonder how much He thinks she can handle. However, when I analyze the verse above, I keep wondering what He has in store for her in the future. I can already see a perseverance in her. I can see that she is more mature than most girls her age, although trust me, she is still a teenager at times. The rest of the verse says though that she will be complete, not lacking anything. That tells me that HE is preparing her for something.
How I wish I could spare her from these experiences. It makes me sad to think that during the day she walks this journey alone. But in reality, is she walking it alone? No, He is with her in the places that we can't be. Although she doesn't always feel His presence there, I know that He is there with her. She is not ours to keep. She is only ours on "loan". In truth, she has been and will always be HIS. I have no control of her life, but He knows the plans HE has for her and all these trials which are monumental to her at the moment are allowed by Him to develop her character.
Tonight through a very tough time of disappointment, I said that the only thing I knew was to ask God for wisdom and to comfort and heal her heart for even my words, hugs or just being there cannot heal her. It is only Jesus that can heal her heart for "By HIS stripes, we are healed!" He came as man so He could share in our sufferings. He knows what rejection of man and trials look like because HE experienced them Himself. We are learning to find things to be thankful for even in the disappointments of life!
Consider it pure joy, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perserverance. Perserverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. James 1:2-4
When I face disappointments or rejection it is hard. To walk through those things with a child is heart breaking. As a parent there are so many roles that you play; disciplinarian, teacher, coach, mentor, nurse, counselor, comforter. In all those roles, we have knowledge based upon things we have read, heard from others, or our own life experiences. At the end of the day, my human abilities fall short.
I have often thought and prayed that I want my children to have a better life than I did, it is the desire for some parents I think, unfortunately not everyone, but in most parents that are in our world. We don't want our children to suffer, to go through disappointments, rejection or heartache. We want to keep their innocense as long as possible for life only gets harder as they get older. We work, bear children, bury friends and parents, friends and family get divorced, sickness and strife. Everywhere we look there is suffering all around us.
Our daughter Abby has gone through some very disappointing times the past few years facing a lot of things I have described, and even a couple of very trying weeks. As a parent I would rather have these things happen to me then watch my child suffer. I often wonder how much He thinks she can handle. However, when I analyze the verse above, I keep wondering what He has in store for her in the future. I can already see a perseverance in her. I can see that she is more mature than most girls her age, although trust me, she is still a teenager at times. The rest of the verse says though that she will be complete, not lacking anything. That tells me that HE is preparing her for something.
How I wish I could spare her from these experiences. It makes me sad to think that during the day she walks this journey alone. But in reality, is she walking it alone? No, He is with her in the places that we can't be. Although she doesn't always feel His presence there, I know that He is there with her. She is not ours to keep. She is only ours on "loan". In truth, she has been and will always be HIS. I have no control of her life, but He knows the plans HE has for her and all these trials which are monumental to her at the moment are allowed by Him to develop her character.
Tonight through a very tough time of disappointment, I said that the only thing I knew was to ask God for wisdom and to comfort and heal her heart for even my words, hugs or just being there cannot heal her. It is only Jesus that can heal her heart for "By HIS stripes, we are healed!" He came as man so He could share in our sufferings. He knows what rejection of man and trials look like because HE experienced them Himself. We are learning to find things to be thankful for even in the disappointments of life!
Tuesday, February 1, 2011
Cake or Kale?
Lessons from My Skinny Friends
Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, wo is in you, whome you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your body.
I Corinthians 6:19
Finding "Balance" with food has always been a struggle for me since the day we got married. We joined our first gym when I was 23 in Cleveland Ohio. I have tried all the diets; Weight Watchers, Nutrisystem, Slim Fast, Vitamin B12, Dr. Death as my friends call her; no carbs, sugars or fats, 1200 calories a day, not eating at all. I take off 20, put on 10, back and forth like a yo yo. Simply put, I would much rather have cake than Kale...
It seems like I have trouble multi tasking. I can work on diet but not exercise or exercise not diet. There comes a time in your life when you can't do just one or the other, both are necessary. At first I blame high metabolism on my "skinny" friends wishing I could be just like them instead of being me. Donuts jump from the table to my thighs without even taking a bite, just by looking at them I gain weight.
When I sit back and analyze the habits of my dear thin friends though I see a little more clearly. They have what I and the majority of people don't have, "self control". Self control is the key words for any kind of discipline whether it is finances, diet, exercise, living "right" with God. They eat small portions, eating more fruits and vegetables than chocolate bars and chocolate cupcakes, or one cookie not 6. They eat a 1/2 of a sandwich instead of a sandwich that could feed two people. They work out and choose to include physical exercise in their daily routines...
I have a food scale and notes from previous dietary classes that I have been in. There are numerous blogs and websites for support. I have friends who are trainers and exercise physiologists who could help me lay out a plan and many lo-cal cookbooks. Simply put, my friends have found balance in their lives to do the things they know they should.
There is no excuse for me! I have a gym membership, access to fitness classes, mountains all around me that I could hike on, gorgeous weather that I could take a walk or run nine months out of the year, a great bike in the garage with miles of sidewalk that would take me miles away from my house. We have P90x loaded on two computers that I could exercise with on our big screen tv. It comes down to lack of desire, motivation and discipline. Age is not my friend or yours...It's easy to take it off when you are young, but after kids and many years, not so much!
So what is going to motivate me to get off my lazy butt and watch what goes into my mouth and get me off of the desk chair away from my computer??? My grandparents, that is what!!! How so, you may ask?
If you look at most of the generations before us, they didn't have the tools that we have to make educated choices. They didn't have lo carb, lo calorie, no fat options. Watching our grandparents and now our aging parents frightens me. Their quality of life and how they move is poor because of their weight and lack of physical movement. If I don't make different choices, I will end up in the same place.
Abundant living is self-control, doing the things that I know I should instead of making excuses for myself or just being lazy and doing something else that is easier. The God that I serve is a God of order. He made our bodies to be a certain size, for everyone that is different. Once you go past His limit for us there are consequences; diabetes, joint problems, digestive problems, heart issues.
Do you choose cake over Kale? What are the things you choose in your life to find balance in diet and exercise? What kind of quality of life do you want to have as you age? Do find that you have a lot of aches and pains because you are caring more weight on your body than you should have? How do you honor God with your eating and exercising habits?
Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, wo is in you, whome you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your body.
I Corinthians 6:19
Finding "Balance" with food has always been a struggle for me since the day we got married. We joined our first gym when I was 23 in Cleveland Ohio. I have tried all the diets; Weight Watchers, Nutrisystem, Slim Fast, Vitamin B12, Dr. Death as my friends call her; no carbs, sugars or fats, 1200 calories a day, not eating at all. I take off 20, put on 10, back and forth like a yo yo. Simply put, I would much rather have cake than Kale...
It seems like I have trouble multi tasking. I can work on diet but not exercise or exercise not diet. There comes a time in your life when you can't do just one or the other, both are necessary. At first I blame high metabolism on my "skinny" friends wishing I could be just like them instead of being me. Donuts jump from the table to my thighs without even taking a bite, just by looking at them I gain weight.
When I sit back and analyze the habits of my dear thin friends though I see a little more clearly. They have what I and the majority of people don't have, "self control". Self control is the key words for any kind of discipline whether it is finances, diet, exercise, living "right" with God. They eat small portions, eating more fruits and vegetables than chocolate bars and chocolate cupcakes, or one cookie not 6. They eat a 1/2 of a sandwich instead of a sandwich that could feed two people. They work out and choose to include physical exercise in their daily routines...
I have a food scale and notes from previous dietary classes that I have been in. There are numerous blogs and websites for support. I have friends who are trainers and exercise physiologists who could help me lay out a plan and many lo-cal cookbooks. Simply put, my friends have found balance in their lives to do the things they know they should.
There is no excuse for me! I have a gym membership, access to fitness classes, mountains all around me that I could hike on, gorgeous weather that I could take a walk or run nine months out of the year, a great bike in the garage with miles of sidewalk that would take me miles away from my house. We have P90x loaded on two computers that I could exercise with on our big screen tv. It comes down to lack of desire, motivation and discipline. Age is not my friend or yours...It's easy to take it off when you are young, but after kids and many years, not so much!
So what is going to motivate me to get off my lazy butt and watch what goes into my mouth and get me off of the desk chair away from my computer??? My grandparents, that is what!!! How so, you may ask?
If you look at most of the generations before us, they didn't have the tools that we have to make educated choices. They didn't have lo carb, lo calorie, no fat options. Watching our grandparents and now our aging parents frightens me. Their quality of life and how they move is poor because of their weight and lack of physical movement. If I don't make different choices, I will end up in the same place.
Abundant living is self-control, doing the things that I know I should instead of making excuses for myself or just being lazy and doing something else that is easier. The God that I serve is a God of order. He made our bodies to be a certain size, for everyone that is different. Once you go past His limit for us there are consequences; diabetes, joint problems, digestive problems, heart issues.
Do you choose cake over Kale? What are the things you choose in your life to find balance in diet and exercise? What kind of quality of life do you want to have as you age? Do find that you have a lot of aches and pains because you are caring more weight on your body than you should have? How do you honor God with your eating and exercising habits?
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