“I have learned that to be with those I like is enough” ― Walt Whitman―
“A dysfunctional family is any family with more than one person in it.” Mary Karr,
“Strangers take a long time to become acquainted, particularly when they are from the same family.”The Liars' Club
Family is the one human institution we have no choice over. We get in simply by being born, and as a result we are involuntarily thrown together with a menagerie of strange and unlike people...Henri Nouwen once defined a community as “a place where the person you least want to live with always lives.”― Philip Yancey, Church
To maintain a joyful family requires much from both the parents and the children. Each member of the family has to become, in a special way, the servant of the others.
Pope John Paul II
What images come to mind when you think of the word family? Is it loving compassionate parents who were your biggest cheerleaders and fans? Is it children who warm your heart, make you laugh and cry in the same breath? Is it someone who was a role model to you your entire life or was it someone you vowed to never become?
Family is part of our commnity, close and far. It is a group of people woven into the fabric of our being filled with a lifetime of experiences, joys and sorrows. Sometimes people in our family heal our hearts and many times break them too. I believe that God uses family to test us in ways beyond comprehension and teach us to extend grace and forgiveness, even when it seems impossible. He uses family to stretch us, bump us, bruise us and touch us with His unconditional love. Many people believe that family = relationship.Relationship is something that takes work on behalf of two people. It is investment of time, money and emotional ties as well as personal sacrifice. Relationship is simply a choice. Without personal investment into the life of another whether the relationship is immediate family like marriage, or with extended family, without work, the relationship will cease to exist. If we value an individual, then we will seek to know who they are even as life moves on as we continue to evolve through life experiences. It takes little time to pick up the phone and call, send a text or even a card to say, hey I'm thinking about you, you matter to me. I think at times we become so engrossed in our own lives that we forget to look outside of our own close circles to make the extra effort. Actions speak louder than words.
Family brings out the best and the worst in us. When I think about all the lessons I have learned from my family all of these years I am amazed. My kids are like looking at my reflection in the mirror. I can't lie, they hear every word I say and see how I treat others. They see how certain family members drive me crazy and witness my lack of self-control in holding my tongue or my lack of want to let go of an offense. When I think of the immense responsibility that we hold in how we treat our elderly parents, knowing some day they will treat us the same, or how we make the effort to get together with extended family knowing that some day that will shape how they treat extended family when they have their own family creates a sense of urgency to go the extra mile.
I think that Pope John Paul had it right. Being a servant doesn't come easy for anyone. Having the right motive in serving others is even more difficult. Do I do something because I want to, or do I do something for someone else out of sense of duty? Treating everyone with respect, honor and dignity at all times in every situation, especially to those that we call family is the most difficult. So many of us take family for granted until they are no longer with us. Family gatherings can be times of joy, but they can also take us back in time to memories that are not so favorable. It is up to us, to leave the past behind, and truly find acceptance of each person, in the present not for what they once were.
Our earthly families are just a picture of what heaven will look like, when there are no sibling rivalries or favored ones. Everyone will have realized their true potential and we will all experience unconditional love for each other.
