Let no one look down on your youthfulness, but rather in speech, conduct, love, faith and purity, show yourself an example of those who believe.
I Timothy 4:12
Walking around the park this morning, I observed a group of boys, from small to large, all standing side by side in their uniforms. I thought what a difference a uniform can make. Off the field, a boy can by a boy, goofing off, pulling pranks, not paying attention. Once that boy puts on shoulder pads and a helmet, he no longer takes the stance of being chidlike or weak. He stands taller, he works harder, more is expected of him.
I started to think about all the men who wear uniforms for their careers.
A pilot puts on a uniform and he transforms from being a husband, father, son to being the man in charge of a very expensive piece of machinery and is responsible for the lives of many every time he takes off and lands. A police officer puts on a uniform and becomes a person of authority, upholding the laws and rules of our land. They are people that are feared, and revered because they can ultimately change the destiny of those who break the law. A military person, puts on a uniform and immediately stands taller, prouder, trained to keep the lives of their fellow officers and the lives of their country safe. A firefighter puts on their uniform trained in emergency services to answer when called to help with medical emergencies or are put into dangerous positions all of the time putting out fires, protecting people and property from harm. Many of these individuals put their life on the line time and time again, serving others without thought or fear of what it could personally cost them. As a matter of fact, most occupations wear a uniform, serving others.
It dawned on me today that being part of team, learning discipline and respect of authority to play a sport is only life training, forming boys to be men, to provide for their families, to respect those in authority, to look out for their co-workers and friends and to work hard. In a society where at times, we try to make boys into girls, how thankful I am for coaches who are forming and preparing our boys to be leaders for generations to come.
Saturday, September 28, 2013
Sunday, September 22, 2013
Nightmare on Mission Lane
Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. Phillipians 4:6
Do you ever have a dream that goes on and on, with your heart beating so fast it almost seems like it is going to pop out of your chest? When you wake up, you feel like you have never slept for one moment and you feel completely disoriented. It doesn't happen to me often. As I was growing up I always thought that dreams had absolutely no meaning.
I think back to an Old Testament character Joseph. He was always having dreams and he always shared them with his brothers. Unfortunately, some of them came to pass and some of them he shouldn't have shared with them because his interpretations led to them sticking him in a big whole only to report to their father that he was dead because he was the favored son.
As I grow older and I think back on my dreams, some of them that reoccurred throughout my childhood were born out of actual events that had taken place in my life that I never spoke of. For instance, when I was six I used to walk quite a few blocks to school by myself. Kidnapping and Amber alerts were almost none existent. One day after school, a white van drove up and two men tried to get me to ride with them. I ran as fast as I could between houses all the way home. I never told my parents what happened that day. For years, even into my college days I would dream that men were chasing after me trying to kill me.
Do you ever have a dream that goes on and on, with your heart beating so fast it almost seems like it is going to pop out of your chest? When you wake up, you feel like you have never slept for one moment and you feel completely disoriented. It doesn't happen to me often. As I was growing up I always thought that dreams had absolutely no meaning.
I think back to an Old Testament character Joseph. He was always having dreams and he always shared them with his brothers. Unfortunately, some of them came to pass and some of them he shouldn't have shared with them because his interpretations led to them sticking him in a big whole only to report to their father that he was dead because he was the favored son.
As I grow older and I think back on my dreams, some of them that reoccurred throughout my childhood were born out of actual events that had taken place in my life that I never spoke of. For instance, when I was six I used to walk quite a few blocks to school by myself. Kidnapping and Amber alerts were almost none existent. One day after school, a white van drove up and two men tried to get me to ride with them. I ran as fast as I could between houses all the way home. I never told my parents what happened that day. For years, even into my college days I would dream that men were chasing after me trying to kill me.
This past week was a crazy week, each day filled with new drama. Usually I take life in stride but I think the cares of life and the busyness that our lives bring culminated in one long drama that took place in my nightmare last night. While I have prayed each day for God's provisions and His hand in working each situation out, at times I grow weary and anxious. It took several hours for me to shake my nightmare when I woke up. My whole family was a part of my nightmare and everyone was in isolation. I felt extremely helpless in trying to help anyone and there was nothing I could do to solve all the problems even though I was running as fast I could do to bring everyone back together again.
In fact, it was only in the fact that I spent several hours playing praise music to My King of Kings at church that brought me from a very disoriented place into a place of peace. While I don't think that every dream deserves merit or a second thought, I believe that turning to Jesus can bring us to a place of peace and rest. One of the biggest reasons that we are careful about the movies that we watch and allow our kids to watch is also found in Phillipians 4:8; Whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, think on these things. What we put into our minds, we play over and over like the movie itself. There is enough real drama that will happen to each one of us that we will think about in our sleep or that keeps us awake at night. But whatever is our struggle, it says to present it to God. When we do this, we will find rest. Sweet dreams!
Sunday, September 15, 2013
Between a Rock and a Hard Place
Parents can only give good advice or put them on the right path, but the final forming of a person's character lies in their own hands. Anne Frank
People used to tell me when the kids were little that these would be the easy days, that life would become so much more complicated as the kids were growing up. I thought that people were just exaggerating because we were always so tired when the kids were tiny. Parenting is so much more than giving our kids physical shelter, food, clothing. In previous generations, I think that was culture's expectations but now there are so many books and experts that address parenting for the whole being of a child.
There are so many instances when you wonder when should you step in and when should you allow your child to handle their own problems. Recently I read an article about what a "helicopter parent" was. It was very interesting and I have thought much about it since. How much of being a parent is being involved and when should you not get involved, waiting for your child to walk through the experience on their own. I have thought throughout the lifetime of our kids that we are raising them up only to fly away. Many times we find ourselves between a rock and a hard place trying to find the right balance of being a coach or a referree, being a parent and being a silent bystander.
I decided to look up the origin of the saying "between a rock and a hard place". I found the origin to be very interesting and applicable. The saying started with the US Bankers Panic of 1907. The financial fallout affected the mining and railroad industry of the Western States the most. In 1917, there became a huge dispute between the copper mining companies and the mineworkers in Bisbee Arizona. The workers were facing a choice bewtween harsh and underpaid work or unemployment and poverty. They chose to present their demands for better working conditions and pay and the companies refused and many workers were forcibly deported to New Mexico.
I think at times in our parenting, we only see the current state of our children's crisis' but in deciding whether to move beyond a coach, we have to look beyond to the future and what our child needs to learn for themselves. Do they need to accept consequences, do they need to gain character qualities that they are lacking, do they need to work on communication skills with others, do they need to learn new problem solving skills? The miners were working together with a united front with the right intentions and motives, however when proceeding forward they paid a bigger price and many ways were worse off than when they started.
There are so many times, I want to intercede on our kids' behalfs but I am finding that it is better to step back, say less and pray more for wisdom about what the next steps should be. It is such a hard task of being balanced and it is such a journey, learning as you go along. Each kid has different needs and wants and we have to work not only with their personalities but with ours as well. Being part of a family is full of victories, and challenges but through it all, we are learning to trust God more.
People used to tell me when the kids were little that these would be the easy days, that life would become so much more complicated as the kids were growing up. I thought that people were just exaggerating because we were always so tired when the kids were tiny. Parenting is so much more than giving our kids physical shelter, food, clothing. In previous generations, I think that was culture's expectations but now there are so many books and experts that address parenting for the whole being of a child.
There are so many instances when you wonder when should you step in and when should you allow your child to handle their own problems. Recently I read an article about what a "helicopter parent" was. It was very interesting and I have thought much about it since. How much of being a parent is being involved and when should you not get involved, waiting for your child to walk through the experience on their own. I have thought throughout the lifetime of our kids that we are raising them up only to fly away. Many times we find ourselves between a rock and a hard place trying to find the right balance of being a coach or a referree, being a parent and being a silent bystander.
I decided to look up the origin of the saying "between a rock and a hard place". I found the origin to be very interesting and applicable. The saying started with the US Bankers Panic of 1907. The financial fallout affected the mining and railroad industry of the Western States the most. In 1917, there became a huge dispute between the copper mining companies and the mineworkers in Bisbee Arizona. The workers were facing a choice bewtween harsh and underpaid work or unemployment and poverty. They chose to present their demands for better working conditions and pay and the companies refused and many workers were forcibly deported to New Mexico.
I think at times in our parenting, we only see the current state of our children's crisis' but in deciding whether to move beyond a coach, we have to look beyond to the future and what our child needs to learn for themselves. Do they need to accept consequences, do they need to gain character qualities that they are lacking, do they need to work on communication skills with others, do they need to learn new problem solving skills? The miners were working together with a united front with the right intentions and motives, however when proceeding forward they paid a bigger price and many ways were worse off than when they started.
There are so many times, I want to intercede on our kids' behalfs but I am finding that it is better to step back, say less and pray more for wisdom about what the next steps should be. It is such a hard task of being balanced and it is such a journey, learning as you go along. Each kid has different needs and wants and we have to work not only with their personalities but with ours as well. Being part of a family is full of victories, and challenges but through it all, we are learning to trust God more.
Sunday, September 8, 2013
Proud as a Peacock
Train the younger women to be sane and sober of mind (temperate, disciplined)...In the same way, urge the younger men to be self-restrained and to behave prudently (taking life seriously). And show your own self in all respects to be a pattern and a model of good deeds and works, teaching what is unadulterated, showing gravity (having the strictest regard for truth and purity of motive) with dignity and seriousness. Titus 2
Have you ever had another parent compliment you on how well mannered your child was when they had a playdate or a sleepover? Has your child ever stood up for someone who was being belittled or didn't know how to stand up for themselves? Has your child ever been in a situation where they felt like giving up and wanted to quit and you witnessed them digging deep to finish strong? Has your child ever struggled in a class only to finish the semester with a high grade when they were always on the verge of getting something lower. Has your child ever been in a game or competition where they were the underdog and at the end they came back to win? Has your son or daughter ever been the only one in the group of many to choose the right path, while all of the others were breaking the rules or even breaking the law?
There are many moments in a parent's career when you feel affirmed in your quest to help your son or daughter rise to their potential. Some times it takes us out of our own comfort zone to push them past what they think they can achieve. Let's face it, I know only limited number of adults who push themselves physically and mentally (myself included) to achieve a monumentous goal such as participating in an Ironman competition or starting a new career after being in the same place for years or coming back from a major illness. Most of us are happy just being mediocre in our daily lives and for that matter, our spiritual lives. We love status quo because it is easier. Our comfort zone spills over into how we parent and we allow our kids to live status quo lives as well.
Today our son was pushed past his limits. He did the hard thing even though there is no promise at the end. Our daughter has time and time again perservered with no blue ribbon. She has given it her all only to receive no accalades or award of any kind except for the knowledge that she has given it her all. It is in these moments that we are so proud of who they are becoming and we are so proud of them for being disciplined and taking life seriously.
There is a difference between empty praise, which is flattery and true compliments. Flattery are words building another person up without any work or reason behind the praise. There is no fooling the recipient if a compliment comes from the wrong motive. Every person knows when they deserve to be praised.
For me, sports bring a lot of reasons to be proud of our kids. They teach many things such as discipline, working together cooperatively, respecting authority, accepting creative criticism, etc. Some adults live vicariously through their child; either reliving their past or pushing for their child to excel to a greater place then they did. For me, I think sports are another way to teach skills that our children will need for the rest of their lives. Being part of a team is so valuable because we have to learn to coexist with people we don't particularly care for, we have to learn to respect others' similarities and differences, we have to learn to accept the leadership styles of the coaches because one day they will have to work for a boss. If they can quit their team when life gets hard, they might learn to move from job to job or church to church when problems arise with others. It is in these moments when our kids do the right thing or the hard thing that we should go above and beyond to let them know how proud we are for their effort.
While praise is important for performance, the most significant praise for children is for character qualities such as honesty, integrity, and courage. Every child needs the approval of their parents to grow and flourish.
Have you ever had another parent compliment you on how well mannered your child was when they had a playdate or a sleepover? Has your child ever stood up for someone who was being belittled or didn't know how to stand up for themselves? Has your child ever been in a situation where they felt like giving up and wanted to quit and you witnessed them digging deep to finish strong? Has your child ever struggled in a class only to finish the semester with a high grade when they were always on the verge of getting something lower. Has your child ever been in a game or competition where they were the underdog and at the end they came back to win? Has your son or daughter ever been the only one in the group of many to choose the right path, while all of the others were breaking the rules or even breaking the law?
There are many moments in a parent's career when you feel affirmed in your quest to help your son or daughter rise to their potential. Some times it takes us out of our own comfort zone to push them past what they think they can achieve. Let's face it, I know only limited number of adults who push themselves physically and mentally (myself included) to achieve a monumentous goal such as participating in an Ironman competition or starting a new career after being in the same place for years or coming back from a major illness. Most of us are happy just being mediocre in our daily lives and for that matter, our spiritual lives. We love status quo because it is easier. Our comfort zone spills over into how we parent and we allow our kids to live status quo lives as well.
Today our son was pushed past his limits. He did the hard thing even though there is no promise at the end. Our daughter has time and time again perservered with no blue ribbon. She has given it her all only to receive no accalades or award of any kind except for the knowledge that she has given it her all. It is in these moments that we are so proud of who they are becoming and we are so proud of them for being disciplined and taking life seriously.
There is a difference between empty praise, which is flattery and true compliments. Flattery are words building another person up without any work or reason behind the praise. There is no fooling the recipient if a compliment comes from the wrong motive. Every person knows when they deserve to be praised.
For me, sports bring a lot of reasons to be proud of our kids. They teach many things such as discipline, working together cooperatively, respecting authority, accepting creative criticism, etc. Some adults live vicariously through their child; either reliving their past or pushing for their child to excel to a greater place then they did. For me, I think sports are another way to teach skills that our children will need for the rest of their lives. Being part of a team is so valuable because we have to learn to coexist with people we don't particularly care for, we have to learn to respect others' similarities and differences, we have to learn to accept the leadership styles of the coaches because one day they will have to work for a boss. If they can quit their team when life gets hard, they might learn to move from job to job or church to church when problems arise with others. It is in these moments when our kids do the right thing or the hard thing that we should go above and beyond to let them know how proud we are for their effort.
While praise is important for performance, the most significant praise for children is for character qualities such as honesty, integrity, and courage. Every child needs the approval of their parents to grow and flourish.
Friday, September 6, 2013
Where the Rubber Meets the Road
Because we know that suffering produces perseverance, character; and character hope. And hope does not put us to shame, because God's love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us. Romans 5: 3-5
Life has a way of wearing us down at times. It seems that it is easier for me to bear the disappointments that happen to me, rather than rejections/failures/or mistakes happening to those who are closest to me. I looked back on the lives of my kids remembering the friends, competitions or games that they have lost, or positions that they tried out for and didn't make. The pain that they feel seems so much greater to us as parents because you don't want your kids to feel rejection or loss. I wonder if that is how God feels when we experience trials. I wonder if the pain is so much greater for Him, watching us struggle.
Many times, I think we would like to remove the hardships from the lives of those we love. We want them to be happy and carefree, never experiencing trials and pain. But this verse sheds light on the purpose of suffering; to produce perseverance and character. Sometimes even the youngest say, "Why did God allow me not to make the team, or why does God allow me to struggle so much with friends or why did my parents have to get a divorce?" Don't we as adults ask the same questions? Why did I have to lose my job? Why did I not get the job I wanted? Why is their life so easy and carefree and mine has so many struggles? Why do natural disasters happen? The questions come by the thousands. Doubts come like a dark cloud.
When rejection or failures come, we are faced with choices. Do I quit and just move on to someone or something else? Do I analyze where I can take ownership in the situation or maybe I have no control or responsibility whatsoever in the crisis? Do I really have a desire to excel and do I have what it takes to get there? If so, what steps do I need to achieve to reach my goal?
Can I see the bigger picture of what God is developing in me or those that I love through the struggles? If I remove the hardships in my loved one's life, will they ever grow? Is it really about winning the competition, job, relationship or is He just trying to teach me/them something through the process? Will they ever develop the tenacity to stick things out when life gets tough or do I just tell them to throw in the towel and later their life will get easier? My dad used to say, "Faith, Life is just not fair". As you get older you realize there will always be someone bigger, better, wiser, richer, more educated, more...Comparison is a no-win kind of game.
Are we intentional in teaching the younger generations to be the best that God created them to be, accepting their strengths and their weaknesses and working harder at times where they fall short. I don't think there are any short cuts to excellence. It doesn't happen by wishing, it happens by doing. We can be active participants or we can let the world pass us by, never pursuing our dreams and allow the fear of failure to order the steps of our future. I think the lesson is not so much in the rejection or the failures, but how we respond and how we pass on the torch to look forward instead of looking behind.
To embrace hardships instead of wishing them away is counter-intuitive to what we humanly desire. Yet, our thoughts are not God's thoughts. God wants us to use these times of suffering to encourage others, emphathize and mourn with them and accompany them on their journey. The most important thing we can do is to earnestly pray that God will use their trials for His good and mold them into who He wants them to be.
Life has a way of wearing us down at times. It seems that it is easier for me to bear the disappointments that happen to me, rather than rejections/failures/or mistakes happening to those who are closest to me. I looked back on the lives of my kids remembering the friends, competitions or games that they have lost, or positions that they tried out for and didn't make. The pain that they feel seems so much greater to us as parents because you don't want your kids to feel rejection or loss. I wonder if that is how God feels when we experience trials. I wonder if the pain is so much greater for Him, watching us struggle.
Many times, I think we would like to remove the hardships from the lives of those we love. We want them to be happy and carefree, never experiencing trials and pain. But this verse sheds light on the purpose of suffering; to produce perseverance and character. Sometimes even the youngest say, "Why did God allow me not to make the team, or why does God allow me to struggle so much with friends or why did my parents have to get a divorce?" Don't we as adults ask the same questions? Why did I have to lose my job? Why did I not get the job I wanted? Why is their life so easy and carefree and mine has so many struggles? Why do natural disasters happen? The questions come by the thousands. Doubts come like a dark cloud.
When rejection or failures come, we are faced with choices. Do I quit and just move on to someone or something else? Do I analyze where I can take ownership in the situation or maybe I have no control or responsibility whatsoever in the crisis? Do I really have a desire to excel and do I have what it takes to get there? If so, what steps do I need to achieve to reach my goal?
Can I see the bigger picture of what God is developing in me or those that I love through the struggles? If I remove the hardships in my loved one's life, will they ever grow? Is it really about winning the competition, job, relationship or is He just trying to teach me/them something through the process? Will they ever develop the tenacity to stick things out when life gets tough or do I just tell them to throw in the towel and later their life will get easier? My dad used to say, "Faith, Life is just not fair". As you get older you realize there will always be someone bigger, better, wiser, richer, more educated, more...Comparison is a no-win kind of game.
Are we intentional in teaching the younger generations to be the best that God created them to be, accepting their strengths and their weaknesses and working harder at times where they fall short. I don't think there are any short cuts to excellence. It doesn't happen by wishing, it happens by doing. We can be active participants or we can let the world pass us by, never pursuing our dreams and allow the fear of failure to order the steps of our future. I think the lesson is not so much in the rejection or the failures, but how we respond and how we pass on the torch to look forward instead of looking behind.
To embrace hardships instead of wishing them away is counter-intuitive to what we humanly desire. Yet, our thoughts are not God's thoughts. God wants us to use these times of suffering to encourage others, emphathize and mourn with them and accompany them on their journey. The most important thing we can do is to earnestly pray that God will use their trials for His good and mold them into who He wants them to be.
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