New Perspective

"One resolution I have made, and try always to keep, is this: to rise above the little things." — John Burroughs

Each year I set one goal for myself. My resolutions don't look like some, skip the lose _ pounds, work out _ days, change the world, change my personality. All of these things come and go and are forgotten in less than a week. My family will attest to the fact that my memory keeps getting shorter and shorter each year.

As I remember the year past and look to the year to come, I contemplate about what I can do to impact the lives of others; my family, my friends, my church family, etc. I love the quote that I stumbled upon, for I think it is a perfect goal for the year ahead, rise above the little things. There are so many things that happen daily that can cause us to be impatient, to change our mood from a joyful to a sour spirit, spreading negativity all around. 

I know, this seems like such a minor adjustment or character goal, but one that I think is going to challenge me. A story comes to mind in the New Testament in Mark 10, when after a long day of teaching, many small children wanted to see Jesus and all His disciples were annoyed and tried to turn all of them away. Jesus scolded them, telling the little children to come. How many times do children ask for our attention and our response is "just a minute" or "I'll be there in a little while." How many times does someone ask us to do something for them and our response is less than positive? How much more pleasant would riding in my car be for the observers that have to ride with me be if I am more patient with the person on the phone who cuts me off or the little old lady who swerves right to turn left if I rise above the little things?

May you count your blessings as you think about the year that has passed by you and may you think about something in your life that needs to be worked on to make you more loving, compassionate, more like Jesus in 2014. If we all focused on our own lives and what we can improve, the world will be a better place!

Singing the Blues

The holidays have passed us by. The presents are opened, the cookies are gone (thank goodness), the parties are over, and now, life returns to routine. Almost everyone experiences the blues for one reason or another. Loss of a job, a loved one, divorce, emotional exhaustion, stress, physical weariness, illness, lack of sleep, changes of life, children leaving home, all can spark depression.

Life can be moving along perfectly and the blues hit without notice. Sometimes it is for a day, a week, months or even years for some. It is real and unplanned. When it hits, it is like an unwelcome stranger linginering like a dark cloud that chills the soul. I can understand why so many poets have written stories and poems, fueled by the dark forces of depression. It is something that you can't explain or shake.

When I find myself in this place, it is like being in a long tunnel without seeing the light of day, an overwhelming place of isolation. It saps energy, thoughts, motivation to move forward, or even any kind of movement, and yet, you are forced to keep up with the daily tasks and work of the day. Life continues to move on and you are still forced to perform the duties and tasks required by each role that you play in a family, work environment, church, etc.

Recently I found myself in a "funk" with no place out. I can't really put my finger on how I got there. Life was moving along perfectly, no major identifiers to put me there. The holidays were just around the corner with so much to do, places to go, people to see.

To make matters worse, after considerable time went by and I had come out of the "funk" one of our pastors preached on discouragement. Where was the sermon weeks ago when I couldn't find myself out of the fog? I sat scratching my head wondering what the purpose was for me to go through that experience and wondering where God was through it all. It occurred to me weeks into the fog, that God is not a God of darkness or confusion. The enemy is the source of all darkness. It slowly creeps in like a real fog, from the ground up until you can't see two feet in front of you. The blindness and isolation that you feel is so blinding that you just want to sit in a dark room, alone. You can't really explain how you got there and you surely can't describe how to get out. I started listening to Christian praise songs and I started reading the Psalms. I'm sure that for whatever reason, whether it was his own disobedience in going against God's will and plans for his life, boredom, losing a son or other things, the writer David found himself in a fog many times, inspiring him to write chapter after chapter recorded in the book of Psalms.

While I can't tell you why, I came out on the other side of the tunnel with a new compassion for my friends who have struggled with depression. Some of them are chemically induced, others have had experiences in life that have given them the blues. Going through difficult times, gives you emphathy for others.

In I Peter 1, it says, we are protected by the power of God through faith for a salvation, ready to be revealed in the last time. In this we greatly rejoice, even though now for a little while, if necessary, you have been distressed by various trials, so that the proof of your faith, being more precious than gold which is perishable, even though tested by fire, may be found to result in praise, glory and honor at the revelation of Jesus Christ, and though you have not seen Him, you love Him.

I always wonder where He is in the darkness, why He doesn't reveal Himself to me, why I don't FEEL His presence. It is because He wants to deepen my faith, He wants me to trust Him more. I often see soemone who is blind, holding the arm of another to get from place to place. It is that undeniable trust for that person's care and well-being that Jesus wants me to experience, which is why He allows the fog to come and go and the trials to come and go in my life. Praise be to God for protecting me, sustaining me, and faithful to lead me out of the tunnel so that I can give Honor and Glory to Him!

Reflections of Christmas Past

Peace on earth, Goodwill toward Men....

This verse stuck with me throughout this Christmas Season. Each Christmas fills my heart with mixed emotions. Once you lose someone that you dearly love, life can at times leave your heart filled with a void and I have a hard time looking forward to the actual day. I know, it is sad for I still have kids at home who look forward to Christmas with great anticipation with wonder about what's under the tree. We have special events around Christmas day that are traditions; our annual cookie decorating party, the Christmas party out at the barn where Abby rides, going to the play at our church on Christmas Eve. I have the pleasure of playing Christmas carols with our band on Sunday mornings in December. We make candy and cookies and deliver the platters to the neighbors.

Each year I search looking for the "something more" to Christmas to get myself out of my yearly funk. Last year it dawned on me with the Connecticut shooting, a student passing away that my daughter had gone to school with, friends fighting cancer, and a very dear friend of my daughters in and out of the hospital and many of our family members being sick for several weeks. Life just becomes more chaotic as years pass by. Life is not getting easier, there are more storms of life that come our way. We are looking for peace and rest for our weary souls.

Where does one find that peace and rest? One day last week I was just so burdened. As I was running errands, this song came to mind...

Be near me Lord Jesus I ask thee to stay, close by me forever and love me I pray. Bless all the dear children in Thy tender care, and take me to Heaven to be with me there.

Away in a manger, no crib for a bed. The little Lord Jesus, laid down His sweet head. The stars in the sky looked down where He laid. The little Lord Jesus asleep on the bed.

The secret to finding the true meaning of Christmas is going back to the basics. If you strip away the decorations, the parties, the feasts, the presents and all the fanfare that we have contrived around Christmas day, what would be left? If there were no gifts to be given, cards to be mailed, cookies to be made, what is the big deal about the birth of Jesus? Why is it important?

In the Beginning was the Word (Jesus) and the Word was with God and the Word was God. What is this verse saying? Jesus was here since the beginning of time with God and then He came to earth. What for? Because there needed to be an easier way for us to have a relationships with God. Our sinful nature separated us from God, the relationship was broken. By Jesus coming to earth, experiencing humanity and then dying the most traumatic death on the cross in my place and then rising from the dead on the third day allowed me to restore my relationship with God.

If you want to find real peace, take some time each day away from the hustle and bustle and think of the Christmas so long ago. There wasn't Black Friday, Internet sales, Michaels, Costco and Kirkland luring us in for the next way to decorate. It was one quiet simple night. A traveling young couple looking for a place to stay; in a cave or a barn with only a few animals a child was born without any fanfare. This child would change everything and everyone. For generations that would feel a void, would be stressed to find the perfect gift, trying to find a way to afford Christmas, stressed about family dinners and the various celebrations.

Jesus came so we would know that He is with us in the Chaos. Only He can bring us peace. Only He can comfort us in the storms of life. He is our Redeemer, Our Counselor, Our Comforter, the Prince of Peace. He gives us peace and helps us live at peace with others even when we cannot find it within ourselves to live at peace with all men. Sometimes the holidays are the hardest times to get along with family members. But with His help, in this Christmas season, Jesus is why we celebrate and He can renew and refresh us even in the midst of all that we do.

Live Life to It's Fullest

Where has time gone? From a baby to 12. I can't believe he is almost a teenager. With Dylan, life has always been an adventure. He has always had to taste things, touch things, experience everything life has to offer, just living in the moment. Not only different by gender, Dylan is different from Abby in almost every way, like day and night.

Abby takes life seriously, Dylan has a hard time being serious for anything. If he is in trouble, he is nervously laughing. In class, he revels in being the class clown, much to his teachers' dismay. In third grade, Dylan had a teacher who truly appreciated who he was and how he thought. He was the only one in his class who laughed at the teacher's jokes, he understood adult humor and wit at a very young age. When other boys ride in our car, Dylan has them laughing so loud I can't think.

Dylan has an extremely creative mind. If there is a story to tell, he will give you all the details and even include or elaborate on ones that do not exist. When he was younger, walking into his school lunch room was always an adventure. "Mrs Murphy, does Dylan have a pet jaguar that lives in his room?" Well, yes, he has a jaguar, but it is a stuffed animal that is on his bed. "Does Dylan have sharks in his bathtub?" Yes, there are numerous plastic ones that float with him. "Does Dylan have a jacuzzi in your house?" "Yes, but it is in the master bathroom."

Dylan has always had a curious mind, wondering how things work. I could tell numerous stories from his younger years but I will tell only a few. When we travelled with him when he was a baby, we always used his stroller as a high chair. When he was around 9 months or so, we put him on the floor after dinner. We looked up and saw that he was spinning the wheels to watch how the wheels worked. When he was four, I noticed the dog licking the family room carpet only to discover that she was licking raw egg into the carpet. Dylan I said, "why is there raw egg in the carpet?" "Momma, I cracked open the egg to see if a chicken would come out." One spring while I was playing piano, the screen popped out from the back porch and flying petunias which I had just planted in pots, came through the window and landed on the carpet under the piano. "Son, why did you just dig up the flowers mama just planted?" I wanted to pick pretty flowers for you." I had just got a new table cloth, only to come in and see the kitchen window and table cloth covered in orange paint. "Dylan why is there orange paint everywhere?" "I painted you a pretty picture."

God has given me the ability over the years to see the heart of our son. So many times in his younger years, he was experiencing his world and behind his motive was a sensitive heart. I used to say that we would be rich if we could bottle his energy. At times, I was so thankful that Abby was five years older to have an extra set of hands and eyes when Paul was on the road. Our nickname for him was Houdini. We would go to the store and he would disappear. One of the proudest moments was this week at teacher/parent conference one of his teachers said, "I love Dylan, he is always wearing a smile and has such a kind and gentle spirit." To me, character counts so much more than perfect grades!

At times, you wonder how to handle the next thing. With Abby, I always thought we were great parents. When Dylan came along, I realized how much wisdom we lacked and how much we had to rely on God. There is a verse that says, raise a child in the way they should go and when they grow old they will return to it. Many parents think this verse means that you should mold and conform a child. We were taught that this means that it is our job, to raise our children to be the best they can be not to conform them into who we think they should be. It is crucial to understand that God created each child to be special, unique with all their strengths and weaknesses and they are formed in His image.

Dylan has taught me so much about God's unconditional love. It took me most of my lifetime to understand that I don't have to do anything to earn God's love for me. I have to accept His free gift that He gave by sending His son and realizing that I need His forgiveness for all the times that I don't follow His plan for my life and the guidelines He has set for all of us to live by, however when I do fall short, He still loves me. He loves me because I was created in His image and am His child. He is so patient with me when I make mistakes over and over again. And some things that I have worked on for many years, He still continues to be patient with me. With this understanding, how can I expect one of our children to overcome some of their character flaws in one time, or one week or one month. Many of our weakness can be a journey that takes years such as having a grateful heart, not complaining, being content with what we have or the list goes on and on. If we understand our own brokeness and can be honest about our weaknesses, how much easier it is to extend grace and perservance to our children.

For a serious mom like me, Dylan continues to teach me to live in the present, to find joy in every occasion. Each year we see growth and maturity taking place. While he at times can be quick to act, we can all learn to laugh a little, not take life so seriously and to enjoy the present instead of looking to the future. I believe that God will use Dylan in a mighty way some day. But most of all, I pray that He grows up to love Jesus as much as I do, no matter what road life takes him.

Special Gift

17 years ago, on this day we were given a priceless treasure. I remember it as if it were yesterday. It is amazing how many things we forget and others that are tatooed in our memories. I loved every minute, every week, every month, every year, enjoying every stage and memory made. Now I blink and can't believe that all of these precious moments will be fewer and fewer in the days to come.

People used to say to me, don't ever wish any time away, don't for wish for the next moment, because they will go way too fast and you will never be able to go back in time. How true they were. Last week I was holding the hand of a special little girl walking into a grocery store. It was like a flash back in time, remembering holding Abby's hand, so tiny and small. I had a tear in my eye and a lump in my throat remembering the past. Now our precious girl is taller than me. I used to take her everywhere with me, not minding ever having only a spare few moments away for myself.

We have walked many life journey's together. How I have always loved her personality. She has a quiet, gentle spirit. We used to call her Pippy Longstocking because she has always had a style of her own. When everyone else was clammering to be one of the crowd, our girl always knew what was comfortable or represented who she was. She always stood for what was right and was quick to respond when making a mistake. Abby sees things in black and white and wants justice for those who are treated unfairly or wrongly, especially herself. Abby has always had a heart for the lost and the broken hearted. People often mistake her compassionate heart for weakness. She is truly a well balanced loving friend and family member. Watch your back if you stab someone that she loves in the back, she has a fiercely loyal spirit!

I have always said that Abby is an old soul in a young woman's body. She has been given the gift of discernment and her quiet demeanor allows her to listen and interpret others' words and actions and she has the ability to come up with a wise summation of how situations should be solved. Her peace-making spirit at times becomes a burden that even the world's best body builders couldn't carry however, maturity is teaching her who is the ultimate One to release those to.

So many people told me that the teenage years were to be feared. I still wait for those moments to appear. I think every relationship is like withdrawals and deposits into a bank. If you have invested a lot of time, effort and involvement in the life of a child, you will find the same return. However, if there is nothing invested, there will be no relationship at this point and for years to come. We enjoy walking life with our kids. Hopefully when they grow old, they will still want a relationship with us.

She has far exceeded how I pictured her to be when she was young. Hardships and trials, joys and victories are all woven into the tapestry of her character and who she is becoming. Each year I see her becoming more independent, more mature, more responsible, more confident, more wise. While she still makes mistakes, I see how quickly she is to analyze what she can take from them and do things differently. She works hard, she is an excellent student, a faithful friend, an awesome rider, seeking to pursue excellence in everything that she strives for.

If this sounds like a tribute, it is, to my birthday girl. How proud we are to have such an awesome daughter. Not every parent is as blessed as we are to have such a wonderful girl. It is exciting to watch doors open, to pray for the next steps of where Abby is going and how God is going to use her life for His glory. Happy Birthday Abby. May your year ahead be filled with many special memories, faithful friends who truly love and accept you just the way you are and may you feel God's love and His presence everywhere you look! May He continue to bless you, to keep you and to make His face shine upon you. With all my love Abby....Mom

Horsing Around

“I believe that horses bring out the best in us. They judge us not by how we look, what we're wearing or how powerful or rich we are, they judge us in terms of sensitivity, consistency, and patience. They demand standards of behavior and levels of kindness that we, as humans, then strive to maintain.” 
― Clare Balding

Being a city girl all my life, I never pictured that I would have a daughter who would at a very young age, have an interest in horses. It started at the age of two when we visited a very dear friend of mine, Michelle on Long Island. Her family owned horses and she was given a pony ride. Never in my wildest dreams did I sense that at that very moment, my quiet spirited little girl would feel a connection to one of God's most beautiful creatures.

She came home saying that one day she would own a horse. We passed it off year after year, thinking that it was just a childhood dream that would one day fade away. We kept her at bay by telling her she would have to complete three years of summer camp before dedicating to lessons. That was not going to stop her. She fulfilled each one of our obstacles one by one. Her dad even told her that she would have to "buy" half of her own first horse. She didn't take presents for years for her birthday and other events to save.

Over the years, her four legged friends have stretched her, sustained her, challenged her. Each of her hairy friends have wiped her tears, been faithful when friends and family disappointed and betrayed her, stood by her side when she has fallen and nuzzled her when they sensed that she was down or sickly. They have given her a safe haven to be herself, loved and accepted without condition.

When I look back over the past 9 years of her life, being in the equestrian world, I feel blessed beyond belief that it was on the back of a horse, that one of my most precious gifts has found peace, freedom and confidence. In a world of peers where she has never felt totally embraced or understood, at the barn she can be who God created her to be. As she grows older, I see that she is walking the journey with many other girls and women who have similar personalities.

Horses teach you so many life skills. It is not in the mistakes or falling that matters, but how you learn and move forward. You have to learn to observe and listen to the personalities around you or you might get kicked when you aren't looking. If you are wishy washy in making decisions, a horse will rule you and you might find yourself in a precarious position, sometimes you just have to take charge. You have to take care of what God has entrusted to you or you may lose the one you love. Life is a journey. There is no instantaneous results in riding, it is just the dedication of working one day at a time, one course at a time, one year at a time. Trust cannot be bought, it is earned. A horse and a rider are either working together, or against one another, each has their own thoughts and their own bad day, you just hope that you sync together well once in awhile because it is not every time. When life goes bad, you pray and trust God more to get you through the falls, the injuries, the sicknesses. There is not one thing that we can control. God is sovereign for all and promises to walk with us through the good and the bad times.

How blessed we are to have Max as Abby's best friend. He has taught our girl so much!

The Uniform Makes the Man

Let no one look down on your youthfulness, but rather in speech, conduct, love, faith and purity, show yourself an example of those who believe.
I Timothy 4:12

Walking around the park this morning, I observed a group of boys, from small to large, all standing side by side in their uniforms. I thought what a difference a uniform can make. Off the field, a boy can by a boy, goofing off, pulling pranks, not paying attention. Once that boy puts on shoulder pads and a helmet, he no longer takes the stance of being chidlike or weak. He stands taller, he works harder, more is expected of him.

I started to think about all the men who wear uniforms for their careers.

A pilot puts on a uniform and he transforms from being a husband, father, son to being the man in charge of a very expensive piece of machinery and is responsible for the lives of many every time he takes off and lands. A police officer puts on a uniform and becomes a person of authority, upholding the laws and rules of our land. They are people that are feared, and revered because they can ultimately change the destiny of those who break the law. A military person, puts on a uniform and immediately stands taller, prouder, trained to keep the lives of their fellow officers and the lives of their country safe. A firefighter puts on their uniform trained in emergency services to answer when called to help with medical emergencies or are put into dangerous positions all of the time putting out fires, protecting people and property from harm. Many of these individuals put their life on the line time and time again, serving others without thought or fear of what it could personally cost them. As a matter of fact, most occupations wear a uniform, serving others.

It dawned on me today that being part of team, learning discipline and respect of authority to play a sport is only life training, forming boys to be men, to provide for their families, to respect those in authority, to look out for their co-workers and friends and to work hard.  In a society where at times, we try to make boys into girls, how thankful I am for coaches who are forming and preparing our boys to be leaders for generations to come.

Nightmare on Mission Lane

Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. Phillipians 4:6

Do you ever have a dream that goes on and on, with your heart beating so fast it almost seems like it is going to pop out of your chest? When you wake up, you feel like you have never slept for one moment and you feel completely disoriented. It doesn't happen to me often. As I was growing up I always thought that dreams had absolutely no meaning.

I think back to an Old Testament character Joseph. He was always having dreams and he always shared them with his brothers. Unfortunately, some of them came to pass and some of them he shouldn't have shared with them because his interpretations led to them sticking him in a big whole only to report to their father that he was dead because he was the favored son.

As I grow older and I think back on my dreams, some of them that reoccurred throughout my childhood were born out of actual events that had taken place in my life that I never spoke of. For instance, when I was six I used to walk quite a few blocks to school by myself. Kidnapping and Amber alerts were almost none existent. One day after school, a white van drove up and two men tried to get me to ride with them. I ran as fast as I could between houses all the way home. I never told my parents what happened that day. For years, even into my college days I would dream that men were chasing after me trying to kill me.

This past week was a crazy week, each day filled with new drama. Usually I take life in stride but I think the cares of life and the busyness that our lives bring culminated in one long drama that took place in my nightmare last night. While I have prayed each day for God's provisions and His hand in working each situation out, at times I grow weary and anxious. It took several hours for me to shake my nightmare when I woke up. My whole family was a part of my nightmare and everyone was in isolation. I felt extremely helpless in trying to help anyone and there was nothing I could do to solve all the problems even though I was running as fast I could do to bring everyone back together again.

In fact, it was only in the fact that I spent several hours playing praise music to My King of Kings at church that brought me from a very disoriented place into a place of peace. While I don't think that every dream deserves merit or a second thought, I believe that turning to Jesus can bring us to a place of peace and rest. One of the biggest reasons that we are careful about the movies that we watch and allow our kids to watch is also found in Phillipians 4:8; Whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, think on these things. What we put into our minds, we play over and over like the movie itself. There is enough real drama that will happen to each one of us that we will think about in our sleep or that keeps us awake at night. But whatever is our struggle, it says to present it to God. When we do this, we will find rest. Sweet dreams!

Between a Rock and a Hard Place

Parents can only give good advice or put them on the right path, but the final forming of a person's character lies in their own hands. Anne Frank

People used to tell me when the kids were little that these would be the easy days, that life would become so much more complicated as the kids were growing up. I thought that people were just exaggerating because we were always so tired when the kids were tiny. Parenting is so much more than giving our kids physical shelter, food, clothing. In previous generations, I think that was culture's expectations but now there are so many books and experts that address parenting for the whole being of a child.

There are so many instances when you wonder when should you step in and when should you allow your child to handle their own problems. Recently I read an article about what a "helicopter parent" was. It was very interesting and I have thought much about it since. How much of being a parent is being involved and when should you not get involved, waiting for your child to walk through the experience on their own. I have thought throughout the lifetime of our kids that we are raising them up only to fly away. Many times we find ourselves between a rock and a hard place trying to find the right balance of being a coach or a referree, being a parent and being a silent bystander.

I decided to look up the origin of the saying "between a rock and a hard place". I found the origin to be very interesting and applicable. The saying started with the US Bankers Panic of 1907. The financial fallout affected the mining and railroad industry of the Western States the most. In 1917, there became a huge dispute between the copper mining companies and the mineworkers in Bisbee Arizona. The workers were facing a choice bewtween harsh and underpaid work or unemployment and poverty. They chose to present their demands for better working conditions and pay and the companies refused and many workers were forcibly deported to New Mexico.

I think at times in our parenting, we only see the current state of our children's crisis' but in deciding whether to move beyond a coach, we have to look beyond to the future and what our child needs to learn for themselves. Do they need to accept consequences, do they need to gain character qualities that they are lacking, do they need to work on communication skills with others, do they need to learn new problem solving skills? The miners were working together with a united front with the right intentions and motives, however when proceeding forward they paid a bigger price and many ways were worse off than when they started.

There are so many times, I want to intercede on our kids' behalfs but I am finding that it is better to step back, say less and pray more for wisdom about what the next steps should be. It is such a hard task of being balanced and it is such a journey, learning as you go along. Each kid has different needs and wants and we have to work not only with their personalities but with ours as well. Being part of a family is full of victories, and challenges but through it all, we are learning to trust God more.

Proud as a Peacock

Train the younger women to be sane and sober of mind (temperate, disciplined)...In the same way, urge the younger men to be self-restrained and to behave prudently (taking life seriously). And show your own self in all respects to be a pattern and a model of good deeds and works, teaching what is unadulterated, showing gravity (having the strictest regard for truth and purity of motive) with dignity and seriousness. Titus 2

Have you ever had another parent compliment you on how well mannered your child was when they had a playdate or a sleepover? Has your child ever stood up for someone who was being belittled or didn't know how to stand up for themselves? Has your child ever been in a situation where they felt like giving up and wanted to quit and you witnessed them digging deep to finish strong? Has your child ever struggled in a class only to finish the semester with a high grade when they were always on the verge of getting something lower. Has your child ever been in a game or competition where they were the underdog and at the end they came back to win? Has your son or daughter ever been the only one in the group of many to choose the right path, while all of the others were breaking the rules or even breaking the law?

There are many moments in a parent's career when you feel affirmed in your quest to help your son or daughter rise to their potential. Some times it takes us out of our own comfort zone to push them past what they think they can achieve. Let's face it, I know only limited number of adults who push themselves physically and mentally (myself included) to achieve a monumentous goal such as participating in an Ironman competition or starting a new career after being in the same place for years or coming back from a major illness. Most of us are happy just being mediocre in our daily lives and for that matter, our spiritual lives. We love status quo because it is easier. Our comfort zone spills over into how we parent and we allow our kids to live status quo lives as well.

Today our son was pushed past his limits. He did the hard thing even though there is no promise at the end. Our daughter has time and time again perservered with no blue ribbon. She has given it her all only to receive no accalades or award of any kind except for the knowledge that she has given it her all. It is in these moments that we are so proud of who they are becoming and we are so proud of them for being disciplined and taking life seriously.

There is a difference between empty praise, which is flattery and true compliments. Flattery are words building another person up without any work or reason behind the praise. There is no fooling the recipient if a compliment comes from the wrong motive. Every person knows when they deserve to be praised.

For me, sports bring a lot of reasons to be proud of our kids. They teach many things such as discipline, working together cooperatively, respecting authority, accepting creative criticism, etc. Some adults live vicariously through their child; either reliving their past or pushing for their child to excel to a greater place then they did. For me, I think sports are another way to teach skills that our children will need for the rest of their lives. Being part of a team is so valuable because we have to learn to coexist with people we don't particularly care for, we have to learn to respect others' similarities and differences, we have to learn to accept the leadership styles of the coaches because one day they will have to work for a boss. If they can quit their team when life gets hard, they might learn to move from job to job or church to church when problems arise with others. It is in these moments when our kids do the right thing or the hard thing that we should go above and beyond to let them know how proud we are for their effort.
While praise is important for performance, the most significant praise for children is for character qualities such as honesty, integrity, and courage. Every child needs the approval of their parents to grow and flourish.

Where the Rubber Meets the Road

Because we know that suffering produces perseverance, character; and character hope. And hope does not put us to shame, because God's love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us. Romans 5: 3-5

Life has a way of wearing us down at times. It seems that it is easier for me to bear the disappointments that happen to me, rather than rejections/failures/or mistakes happening to those who are closest to me. I looked back on the lives of my kids remembering the friends, competitions or games that they have lost, or positions that they tried out for and didn't make. The pain that they feel seems so much greater to us as parents because you don't want your kids to feel rejection or loss. I wonder if that is how God feels when we experience trials. I wonder if the pain is so much greater for Him, watching us struggle.

Many times, I think we would like to remove the hardships from the lives of those we love. We want them to be happy and carefree, never experiencing trials and pain. But this verse sheds light on the purpose of suffering; to produce perseverance and character. Sometimes even the youngest say, "Why did God allow me not to make the team, or why does God allow me to struggle so much with friends or why did my parents have to get a divorce?" Don't we as adults ask the same questions? Why did I have to lose my job? Why did I not get the job I wanted? Why is their life so easy and carefree and mine has so many struggles? Why do natural disasters happen? The questions come by the thousands. Doubts come like a dark cloud.

When rejection or failures come, we are faced with choices. Do I quit and just move on to someone or something else? Do I analyze where I can take ownership in the situation or maybe I have no control or responsibility whatsoever in the crisis? Do I really have a desire to excel and do I have what it takes to get there? If so, what steps do I need to achieve to reach my goal?

Can I see the bigger picture of what God is developing in me or those that I love through the struggles? If I remove the hardships in my loved one's life, will they ever grow? Is it really about winning the competition, job, relationship or is He just trying to teach me/them something through the process? Will they ever develop the tenacity to stick things out when life gets tough or do I just tell them to throw in the towel and later their life will get easier? My dad used to say, "Faith, Life is just not fair". As you get older you realize there will always be someone bigger, better, wiser, richer, more educated, more...Comparison is a no-win kind of game.

Are we intentional in teaching the younger generations to be the best that God created them to be, accepting their strengths and their weaknesses and working harder at times where they fall short. I don't think there are any short cuts to excellence. It doesn't happen by wishing, it happens by doing. We can be active participants or we can let the world pass us by, never pursuing our dreams and allow the fear of failure to order the steps of our future. I think the lesson is not so much in the rejection or the failures, but how we respond and how we pass on the torch to look forward instead of looking behind.

To embrace hardships instead of wishing them away is counter-intuitive to what we humanly desire. Yet, our thoughts are not God's thoughts. God wants us to use these times of suffering to encourage others, emphathize and mourn with them and accompany them on their journey. The most important thing we can do is to earnestly pray that God will use their trials for His good and mold them into who He wants them to be.

Without a Doubt

The Lord is trustworthy in all he promises and faithful in all he does. The Lord upholds all who falls and lifts up all who are bowed down. The eyes of all look to you, and you give them their food at the proper time. You open your hand and satisfy the desires of every living thing. The Lord is righteous in all his ways and faithful in all he does. The Lord is near to all who call on him, to all who call on him in truth. He fulfills the desires of those who fear him; he hears their cry and saves them. The Lord watches over all who love him. Psalm 145: 14-17

Last  blog I talked about jumping off a cliff. Our family had an adventure in the last two weeks. Sometimes you look back and say and why did we go through that adventure? I believe that there was a purpose even though we can't see why.

I have to say that when we started out, I had every confidence in God that He would direct our paths. I can't say that I didn't have feelings of anxiety, lack of patience or even feelings of uneasiness during the process. You can't always base your decisions on feelings. Our family was united in the adventure from beginning to end, including our kids. It isn't often that the entire family has one heart. When the Holy Spirit lives within us, He gives each one of us the gift of discernment. I have experienced time and time again that when you pray and ask God for wisdom when we lack it and believe, that He is going to answer, for He is faithful.

God slammed the doors shut, in His timing. Actually out of His graciousness and mercy it was perfect timing for Paul was heading to be out of town for a week for training. I can clearly see HIS hand in protection for us, Him knowing our hearts' desire better than we knew it ourselves at the moment and for Him seeing the future even when we could not. Just like we want the best for our children, He wants whats best for us.

I promised Him from the beginning that when the journey was done, I would give Him the honor and glory. I think sometimes we can think we can only trust Him in the life shattering moments of life. However, as you walk with Him you realize that He is concerned with ALL of the details of our life, big and small. Answers to our prayers often have unexpected twists and turns, but in the end if we just trust, He will be faithful.

Jumping off the Cliff

Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not unto your own understanding, acknowledge Him and He shall direct thy path. Proverbs 3:5-6

Have you ever started down a path that you felt you should go and when you are heading down the path, the thought occurs to you, what have we done? Maybe it is a career change, or having a child, or moving to a new place, or moving to a new community. You have the small quiet voice urging you to leave behind all the comfort that you've known to go into the unknown. I'm sure that Abraham and Sarah must have felt that hundreds of years ago. God told them to leave their family, community to a place of unknowns. It is like jumping off a cliff into deep waters. I've never done that but I've watched both my kids do that a couple of summers ago. It was very frightening to me, watching them stand on the edge.

What about us, standing on the edge? Sometimes you almost have a panic attack, waiting and wondering what is going to happen next. Sometimes we have a hard time sleeping at night and others, things don't work out exactly as we've planned. In the midst of the unknown, I take the quiet moments to ponder that trust is not trust in the known.

While we live in the known, we control our own destiny.  It is so much easier to live in the comfort of what I know and is familiar to me. We work hard to create a life of comfort for ourselves. None of us likes to create extra work that learning a new job, making new friends or redecorating a house has in store. The moment you step off the cliff, while you are in mid air God is in charge when we are not. It is so hard to give up our own control. We like to prepare and predict what our outcome is going to be. I think though that there is little opportunity for growth in that kind of life.

There is a confident assurance that God sees the bigger picture and sometimes He can see parts of the future that we can't predict. Living in limbo is never easy and having to wait for answers is little to be desired. There are also times in life where many changes come at once creating a perfect storm scenario, like the dam is going to break. I've heard so many people say, I don't konw how much more God thinks I can take.

What if in the midst of the storm, we say, "God you know we are in the eye of the storm. You see the now of our life and you see the future. I give all of my emotions of worry, anxiety, fear, doubt, and for many the list goes on and on. Today I will praise you for allowing us to be in the center of this whirlwind, for it is here that we are forced to rely on you. We will walk through the doors that you open. Please close all the doors where you don't want us to go. We give all of our needs and desires to you. We are confident that you have our best interest in mind and that you know what is best for us. We desire to do your will and are trusting that you will guide us where you want us to go. We give up our own control to do as you lead. And in return, we will be exactly where you want us to be to fulfill the purpose that You want us to fulfill; Thy Kingdom come, Thy will be done, on earth as it is in Heaven!"

Burden or Blessing

My God shall provide all your needs...

Life is full of minor inconveniences. You drive through a construction zone and park your car in the garage. The next time you come out, the warning light goes on and you have a flat. A storm comes and the winds howl, leaving three large limbs on your roof. Your children are taking their sweet time getting ready for church, leaving you running ten minutes late. As you near the church, you see an accident just in the place you would have been just minutes sooner.

There are so many things that occur that can annoy us and consume our time and effort. It is easy to find ourselves asking God why me, why do these things always happen to us not seeing the big picture. Sometimes we are blessed enough to see his protection from what could have happened to us. At other times he allows things like tree branches falling to bless a family member by providing a brand new roof for the entire house, saving them $15,000. Our God is faithful in His protection, He is faithful in His provision, He is the giver of all good gifts. The next time an inconvenience comes up, try to see the bigger picture. God allows us to have to live through our own errors, while others, He allows us to go through minor trials to see if we can trust. You never know when the result of a burden becomes a blessing.

Simple Truth

It is not good for man to be alone. I will make a suitable helper for him. Genesis 2:19

It is not often that I get the chance to sit with my in-laws by myself. In catching up and going over the events of the summer I realized that life is so short. We spend our entire life building our careers, our houses, our families, our possessions. Our kids grow up, make a life of their own and move away. This weekend I have the honor of being here for a dear friend of mine whose daughter is getting married. I watched her daughter grow up and now will make a life of her own. We just attended the ceremony for my father in laws retirement last month. As all of these life changes occur; I hear in the voice of my aged mentors say, "as life changes, we realize as soon as you stop working you are quickly replaced and soon forgotten, no one is irreplaceable. Friends come and go through seasons of life. Even your kids move on with their lives. When all is said and done the priceless treasure is the one that walks through life with you day to day."

I think back on my grandparents' legacy of more than 70!years together. I see my in-laws legacy of 58 years together and you start to see a simple truth. While longevity of this magnitude with the same person may not yield a perfect example, there is no such thing. What stands out is two people committed to choosing to work on a relationship through grace and forgiveness so that when everyone else is gone, two remain. What a wonderful picture of God 's provision for man, someone to grow old with, someone to share life with. How thankful I am that God gave me Paul. Not everyone can say they are blessed. Some of my dear friends and family members have been separated from their soul mates by death. I pray for them to experience that companionship once again. I pray for my married friends that they will continue to invest time and effort in cultivating their relationships with their spouses so that when they are in their 80's they will say "my biggest treasure is my spouse".

Follow the Leader

10 things that authentic leaders do on a regular basis:

1. They speak truth. Speaking truth is simply about being clear, being honest and being authentic.
2. They lead from the heart.  Leadership is about people. The best leaders wear their hearts on their sleeves and are not afraid to show their vulnerability. They genuinely care about other people and spend their days developing the people around them.
3. They have rich moral fiber. Strength of character is true power. Authentic leaders work on their character. They walk their talk and are aligned with their core values. They are noble and good. And in doing so, people trust, respect and listen to them.
4, They are courageous. It takes a lot of courage to go against the crowd. It takes a lot of inner strength to do what you think is right even though it may not be easy. We live in a world where so many people walk the path of least resistance. Authentic leadership is all about taking the road less traveled and doing, not what is easy, but what is right.
5. They build teams and create communities. In the old days, we got our community from where we lived. We would have block parties and street picnics. Authentic leaders create workplaces that foster human linkages and lasting friendships. It is humility to be able to listen and incorporate the ideas of others and have a teachable spirit.
6.They deepen themselves.They know their weaknesses and play to their strengths. And they always spend a lot of time transcending their fears.
7. They are dreamers. Einstein said that, “Imagination is more important than knowledge.” Authentic leaders dare to dream impossible dreams.
8. They care for themselves. Taking care of your physical dimension is a sign of self-respect. You can’t do great things at work if you don’t feel good. Authentic leaders eat well, exercise and care for the temples that are their bodies. They spend time in nature, drink plenty of water.
9. They commit to excellence rather than perfection. No human being is perfect. Every single one of us is a work in progress. Authentic leaders commit themselves to excellence in everything that they do.
10. They leave a legacy. To live in the hearts of the people around you is to never die. You were made to contribute and to leave a mark on the people around you. In failing to live from this frame of reference, you betray yourself.

I found this list on True Life Coaching. Many of us don't see ourselves as a leader or a role model. But let me ask you a question; are you a teacher, a volunteer where kids are there, a parent, an aunt or uncle, a grandparent, a school bus driver or a a dance coach? If you have the influence or ear of a child, teenager or young adult, then you are a leader. I thought about each one of these points and many of them have to do with our character or how we treat others.

Often, I think we hold others up who are in leadership on a pedestal, with unrealistic expectations. My dad used to say, if you keep your eyes on people, they will always fail and disappoint. If you keep your eyes on Jesus, He never changes. While all of these things are worthwhile to achieve, I love #9 the most! No human being is perfect. For all have sinned and come short of the glory of God! Every single one of us in a work in progress. That makes us all the same, not one can cast a stone at another. We all mistakes, we all fall short, we all are on a journey. Some of us have already realized that we need a Savior. Others are still looking and seeking. All of us have a divine purpose to be here on this earth. All of us touch the lives of many around us every day. The question is, who does our life point others to? Does my life point others to Jesus or away from Him? I guess it depends on the day right? Some days people might not see Jesus front and center. On other days,  I might be a clear reflection of Him and there is no doubt whose child I am.

Are you someone who leads or follows? Everyone has the divine capactity to lead, you can lead others in the right direction or the wrong one. You can follow those who walk in the right direction or the wrong one. Life is all about choices and consequences. It is certain that at times we will make the wrong choices. What we do with our failures though can be a turning point in our life and in the life of others. We can choose to relive the past over and over without forgiveness for ourself or others or we can chose to forgive and move forward.

Leaders come and go in our life. The ones who remain in our hearts and lives forever are the ones who live their lives with integrity, courage and character. I can think of many men in my life living and dead who have held a special place in my heart. They possessed all of the things written above. Whether they are geographically close or physically no more, their legacy and the impact they have on us is forever. Men and women of character make mistakes, learn from them, grow and mature and use their life as projection for others to see that Jesus is the business of salvation, redemption and restoration. Without our humanity, we lack for compassion and empathy for others who come behind us who do have not experienced the power of the cross or the need for forgiveness, kindness and mercy. For those of us who have experienced redemption and mercy, it comes more freely to be able to give away...

Humble Pie

We all like to believe that we are "all that". We work to improve ourselves, we grow, we change and we fall. Some of us are prouder than others. Some of us walk tall, heads held high, wearing our achievements on our sleeve telling you how successful we are, how much we own, how independent we are, how much we don't need anyone else. We name drop, title drop all to convince you that we have arrived. It starts at a young age. We compare, brag and boast about where we've been, what we've done, who we are friends with, where we live and vacation. Social media like Facebook and Instagram has taken our boasting to a new level.

Humility isn't a top character trait that most people find attractive. In fact, many people think that being humble equates to weakness. I find that as I grow older, it becomes easier to admit when I am wrong, to be quicker to say I am sorry. In the moments that I judge someone for their mistakes or dumb behavior, I find myself the next day doing the very thing that I judged someone else for. I think as we age, we realize that we don't know it all, we don't have all the answers and we are imperfect. We all make mistakes!

God uses people to patronize me, talk down to me, criticize how I do something and at times blast me when I'm not expecting it. It is hard when He uses others to stretch and humiliate me. I think it is all our perspective in how we receive all these negative ways in which others react toward us. We can get offended, put off, become angry and bitter, blame someone else, write them off. The first thing I ask ask myself is if there is any truth in how I have been treated and what the person has said of me. If there is, then I need to make some readjustments in my life. Sometimes garbage just rolls down hill and I might be standing at the bottom and might not even be the cause, just an "innocent bystander" to someone else's bad day. It is in that moment in time when I have a choice how to react. I can bristle up and dish the same back, I can reflect and walk away, maybe not ever respond or maybe come back at a later time if that person has meaning and value in my life. Or maybe it is God's gentle reminder to me that I am who I am today because of HIM, He knows me best and has my best interest in mind!

Leaders of many countries, politicians, religious leaders, coaches, and even parents can sometimes lose perspective of how they got where they are. Personal effort is many times part of success however, the Bible says that Pride goes before a fall. In the Old Testament time and time again it talks about God putting leaders in their place and then removing them from power. Any time we use our position to Lord over someone else, we set ourselves up to fall.

We are all human, we are all sinners, we are all prone to hurting others and being hurt. Humility is a tool that God uses to keep us dependent on Him. The moment I think I can do it all, all by myself is the moment that He sends something or someone into my life to remind me that without Him I can do nothing. I am not saying that He has created us to be mindless, lazy people who are incapable of walking, talking, working or striving to be better. What I am saying is that people who believe that they can rule the world and lord over others, is a short lived reign.

I love the verse found in Micah 6:8, "And what does the Lord require of you? To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God." I have walked with the Lord since I was five. I have made many mistakes and have many times displeased Him with my words and my actions. I have to admit I don't always act justly, I don't always extend mercy to those who act human and many times I claim credit where credit isn't mine to claim, self-righteous humility so to speak (so glad God answered your prayers "I" have been praying for you.) Really, God only answers prayers the way we pray when He wants to. Many times He answers prayers differently then we ask. God is God and has a plan even when it doesn't fit into ours. But we have no control over what His will is for our life and the lives of others. We are to ask and believe and not doubt, but He wants us to ask within the context of Thy will be done... God should get the honor and Glory for answered prayers and blessings that He bestows.

C.S Lewis once said "Humility is not thinking less of yourself, but thinking of yourself less. We, as followers of Jesus, should choose humility not to demean our self worth, but to discover who we truly are by loving others through the love of Jesus and allowing the Holy Spirit to dwell within us.

Stuffed

A joyful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones. Prov. 17:22


Stuffing should only be found in turkeys or pillows...You can only put so much in at one time and then there is no more room. We all handle our emotions in different ways. Some of us are like a firehose, we just let it all coming gushing out without regard for the person on the other end. Some of us are like crock pots. We push feelings down until the pot is ready to explode. Whatever the emotion is; whether it is feeling alone, sadness, anger, feeling disrespected, or annoyed, stuffing these feelings over a period of time is not healthy.

Time and time again, my path crosses with people young and old who do not know how to balance their feelings in a healthy way. Feelings are given to us by God. How we handle them is a personal choice. I wish part of school curriculum in health class dealt with what are emotions and how do we handle them starting at a young age. So many kids and teenagers now are caught in the crossfire of their parents' divorce and don't know what to do with their hearts. It is hard for them to be honest and express how they are feeling and even worse, knowing who they can trust. We are becoming a society who hides behind a mask and in turn we act rudely, curtly, dishonoring and devaluing other human beings.

There was a time in my life, when so many experiences had happened to me, that I couldn't even put a label on the emotion...today I feel confused, angry, sad. There was a whole list sitting in front of me and I couldn't even attach one word to what I was feeling. Feeling numb is the result of stuffing. It has taken me many years to realize that the first place to release negative emotions is God. I realize that He knows everything we are thinking and feeling, however, knowing He is there and is willing to hear the good and the bad in life helps me find peace. When I need a person in the flesh, it is important to find a safe friend, spouse or someone who can be trusted to talk things out. I have often found that Satan loves to keep us in place where we are isolated. God has created us to be in community and a simple "Will you pray for me today?" can be very healing. The words "I understand what you are going through", is so comforting for me. I often heard the saying, "To have a friend, takes the willingness on our part to be a friend." Journaling for me is another priceless tool to express words that can't or shouldn't be expressed out loud!

Do you take the time to look on the faces of those you meet and study their expressions? Are they full of joy or do you see other emotions? Some like only to hear the reply when asked "How are you?", fine! But what if the expression that you read doesn't match the response? Do you care enough to go beyond the response to take the next step and ask another question? Often it only takes a few seconds to share encouraging words to another that can change the direction of their day or make a difference for years to come.

Ties that Bind

Family

“I have learned that to be with those I like is enough” ― Walt Whitman― 

“A dysfunctional family is any family with more than one person in it.” Mary Karr, 

“Strangers take a long time to become acquainted, particularly when they are from the same family.”The Liars' Club

Family is the one human institution we have no choice over. We get in simply by being born, and as a result we are involuntarily thrown together with a menagerie of strange and unlike people...Henri Nouwen once defined a community as “a place where the person you least want to live with always lives.”― Philip Yancey, Church
To maintain a joyful family requires much from both the parents and the children. Each member of the family has to become, in a special way, the servant of the others. 
Pope John Paul II

What images come to mind when you think of the word family? Is it loving compassionate parents who were your biggest cheerleaders and fans? Is it children who warm your heart, make you laugh and cry in the same breath? Is it someone who was a role model to you your entire life or was it someone you vowed to never become?

Family is part of our commnity, close and far. It is a group of people woven into the fabric of our being filled with a lifetime of experiences, joys and sorrows. Sometimes people in our family heal our hearts and many times break them too. I believe that God uses family to test us in ways beyond comprehension and teach us to extend grace and forgiveness, even when it seems impossible. He uses family to stretch us, bump us, bruise us and touch us with His unconditional love. Many people believe that family = relationship. 

Relationship is something that takes work on behalf of two people. It is investment of time, money and emotional ties as well as personal sacrifice. Relationship is simply a choice. Without personal investment into the life of another whether the relationship is immediate family like marriage, or with extended family, without work, the relationship will cease to exist. If we value an individual, then we will seek to know who they are even as life moves on as we continue to evolve through life experiences. It takes little time to pick up the phone and call, send a text or even a card to say, hey I'm thinking about you, you matter to me. I think at times we become so engrossed in our own lives that we forget to look outside of our own close circles to make the extra effort. Actions speak louder than words. 

Family brings out the best and the worst in us. When I think about all the lessons I have learned from my family all of these years I am amazed. My kids are like looking at my reflection in the mirror. I can't lie, they hear every word I say and see how I treat others. They see how certain family members drive me crazy and witness my lack of self-control in holding my tongue or my lack of want to let go of an offense. When I think of the immense responsibility that we hold in how we treat our elderly parents, knowing some day they will treat us the same, or how we make the effort to get together with extended family knowing that some day that will shape how they treat extended family when they have their own family creates a sense of urgency to go the extra mile.

I think that Pope John Paul had it right. Being a servant doesn't come easy for anyone. Having the right motive in serving others is even more difficult. Do I do something because I want to, or do I do something for someone else out of sense of duty? Treating everyone with respect, honor and dignity at all times in every situation, especially to those that we call family is the most difficult. So many of us take family for granted until they are no longer with us. Family gatherings can be times of joy, but they can also take us back in time to memories that are not so favorable. It is up to us, to leave the past behind, and truly find acceptance of each person, in the present not for what they once were. 

Our earthly families are just a picture of what heaven will look like, when there are no sibling rivalries or favored ones. Everyone will have realized their true potential and we will all experience unconditional love for each other. 

Wedded Bliss

24 years, a long time for some, was a blink of an eye for me! It is amazing to me how life experiences, children and time can change the course of your life. The day you say I do, you have so many plans and dreams and life takes you on an adventure with many twists and turns.

Each year that passes, I learn so much more about myself and the man that I met so many years ago. Some people get the one year itch, the five year itch, the seven year itch, the 20 year itch. When we said I do, we said we wouldn't say the "D" word in our house. There are many fabulous days and a few here and there that are not so fabulous. Anyone that tells you otherwise, either has a problem with reality or is a straight out liar. We all live with our strengths and our weaknesses. Much of life is about compromise and acceptance of who you chose as a life mate. As you learn to love your spouse unconditionally, it is easier to weather the storms and the suprises that come your way.

Having a spouse makes us complete, or they compliment us. Marriage is created to fill in the gaps of where we are weak. When I think of my life, there are so many areas where I fall short and Paul comes in and saves the day! It is easy to put on a "I have my act together" to others, but our spouse knows the real truth, there is no hiding! I think the picture of being on the same team is huge. So many distractions can keep two people from heading together on the same path, however it is a choice to find things to do together and enjoy being together. Change is inevitable, kids grow up and move on. Relationship is what ties people together over time.

I find so many wonderful qualities in Paul that I am seeing passed on to our kids such as loyalty to their friends, honesty and faithfulness to family. He is a very hardworker and works to make sure they have the same work ethic. I love how Paul is spontaneous and has passed on his adventurous spirit. I also love how he is the leader of our family and tries to instill in the kids how important Christ and being part of a church family is so important.

I am so thankful I married Paul years ago and for his love and devotion to me. I know my dad must be proud, he always wanted to know that I was being well taken care of in his absence.

Here's to many more!!!

Lost and Found

Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours. Mark 11:24

Have you ever lost something that might give you a heart attack and you can't sleep at night; like a wallet, a credit card, a debit card, a set of keys? At one time or another I have lost all of these.

Three days ago, a large set of keys from every car and the house key, and a credit card disappeared. Needless to say, I took to my knees praying for God's goodness and mercy. We searched the house and the garage for two days straight and a path to and from our house numerous times. At night I had nightmares that people were stalking our cars and trying to get into our house. I guess you could say that I had a panic attack.

When we first noticed, I decided to continually pray and trust that God was going to show His faithfulness one more time to us in our moments of humanity. How and why it happened is of no consequence however I will say that it was short of miraculous how He was faithful. The only identifying thing on the ring of keys was our gym membership card. Last night we felt compelled to go to the gym and see if anyone was our good samaritan.

To my utter relief and thankfulness, someone had indeed found our keys. The first words out of my mouth were "Thank you Jesus". When I came home, the family said that we had been praying that God would hear and answer! I continued to search the house for the card and decided to call the card company to cancel. They said that a good samaritan had found it and put a hold on our account.

One could argue that I am forgetful or human. I see things as an exercise in learning from one's mistakes and having faith that God will hear and answer in the small and large things that happen to us on a daily basis. While things may not always work out with a happy ending as ours was, I happen to believe that these experiences are all stepping stones, with our kids watching that God is faithful and watches over His children. They are also beginning to see that when we cry out to Him, He does hear and He does answer. Sometimes it takes a little while, but He wants us to ask with a belief that He does know what is best for us!

Parched

Arizona is hot and dry. We aren't there yet, however the need for water is already upon us. Many of our tourists don't realize the importance of drinking lots of water every day, and we ourselves forget at first when the temperatures rise.

For the past two days I have had no energy. I have been taking naps for the first time in many months. Life has been spinning at such a rapid pace, there was little time for rest. Today as I was sitting outside under the fan, in absolute silence I started reflecting on the past month of my life. As a parent, there are so many hats that you wear. Both of our kids have gone through a tough time in school the past month, I've been a support to my mom as she watched my grandpa fail, I worked a part-time job, and the list goes on as it does for so many.

Each day I prayed the Lord's Prayer, Lord give us this day our daily bread. For me that meant help me start what I finished each day, increasing the caffeine by the glass. Until yesterday, I hit a wall, almost as if I was a car without gas, no energy to run one more errand, do one more task. I reflected where I've been as I glared into my pool, with fresh sparkling water. It made my mind travel back to the events of this past Sunday morning, one tub full of water, 20 people of all different ages, taking the plunge, being baptized for the first time.

I started to think about what the significance water holds in the act of baptism and how it parallels to blood, the blood of Jesus. Blood washes away our sins, giving us spiritual cleanliness, a second chance so to speak. Water can give us physical cleanliness. Both have the power to make us clean and give us a fresh start. Then I decided to research water in Scripture. I came across this passage, I John 5:5-9 "Who is it that overcomes the world? Only the one who believes that Jesus is the Son of God. This is the one who came by water and blood - Jesus Christ. He did not only come by water only, but by water and blood. And it is the Spirit who testiifes, because the Spirit is truth. For there are three that testify: the Spirit, the water and the blood; and the three are in agreement".

What is this saying to me you might ask? The answer to the problems of this world lie in the hands of the one who is in charge, God. He sent His son Jesus through human birth (water and blood), His baptism and His death. There are three that witnessed all of these events; God the Father, God the Son and God the Holy Spirit.

It is amazing to me that you can read and reread Scripture and it is only God that give us the eyes to see and the ability to understand. He confirmed what I was thinking but at a deeper level, I truly am simple-minded!

As I pondered, my mind went back to a mental picture that a friend gave me long ago. It was an image of a beautiful watering can that I used to water my flower beds to make my gorgeous flowers flourish and grow. As I pour out the can slowly, eventually the can becomes empty and there is nothing more to pour out. At some point, it is important for me to return with my can to the source of water. Without the water, soon even the most beautiful flower buds will become thirsty, wither and die.

I am just like the watering can. There are so many ministries that God calls us to. I pour out my entire being to numerous individuals until the watering can is bone dry and there is not an ounce to give to another. Jesus clearly gave me an answer to the mental picture that He restored to memory. It is from the story in John 4 about the Samaritan woman who is at the well drawing water. Jesus asks her for a drink and she is doubting why He is asking her, because she is a Samaritan and He is a Jew, the two don't socialize...

His response is found in verse 13 and 14: "Everyone who drinks this water will be thirsty again but whoever drinks the water I give them will never thirst. Indeed the water I give them will become in them a spring of water welling up to eternal life."

First we come to know Christ, then He transforms our life, we choose to be Baptized as an expression of our desire to follow Jesus. Out of that desire, we study our Bible to know more about Him and as an outward expression we want to serve others by loving them unconditionally. True followers serve out of love for Jesus, not for want of doing good works or working our way into the Kingdom. We say yes to serving others because we love Him. When the watering can is dry, then it is time to Be still, to return to the One who gives us the water to refresh our soul, a spring of water, welling up to eternal life.
Jesus is the source for all power and strength and He is the one that refresh our souls.

Humbled

Many of us wonder what people would say about us when we pass on, a tribute, kind words of thanks. There are probably only a few times we can count on one hand when someone honors us with their words.

I had the pleasant surprise of reading a tribute recently that a young writer wrote about me. Her writing was so clear and concise, just the kind of person that you would choose to write your biography if one was so inclined. She was so eloquent in capturing my heart. Hearing and being able to reproduce one's thoughts and spoken words is a true gift, one that only a few behold.

As I finished, I felt so humbled. My mind quickly turned to John 15. It says "I am the vine, you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit, apart from me you can do nothing...If you remain in me and my words remain in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be done to you. This is to my Father's glory, that you bear much fruit, showing yourselves to be my disciples."

The things that she heard me say, and the way she sees me live is because Jesus lives in me. There is nothing that I can take credit for myself. I've asked the Lord to use me with an open heart and open hands. Sometimes when we pray, we are tempted to take credit when the Lord shows up and answers. However, we in and of ourselves have no power to change anyone. It is only the Holy Spirit that can draw a soul to Himself. We are simply earthly vessels to be used by Him to point others to Jesus.

To be more specific, without Jesus, I have the power to do nothing. It has taken me a lifetime to understand that Jesus is the King of Kings, the one with all the Power, the ability to give men authority, and the one to diminish one's power. He gives us wealth and He has the power to take it away. He is Sovereign, yet He loves us enough to allow us to make our own freewill choices. It is only because of the cross, that my life has been transformed, and that He is willing to use an imperfect being like me.

Thank you, my young friend for noticing how I'm striving to be more like Him. There can be no higher compliment than someone saying, you are somehow different, you look familiar, you resemble someone that I know. My prayer is that as I grow older, I will look more like HIM!

A Birthday to Remember

Life in the beginning for me was simple. We were from humble means, no flashy birthday parties, trips or extravagant gifts. I only recall one party when I was growing up, three or four friends came over for homemade cupcakes, I must have been 7 or 8. Birthdays came and went without much fanfare. I'm sure there must have been gifts, however I can't remember what one of them was.

What I do remember however, was visitors that would come each year for my birthday, sometimes traveling for many miles to celebrate the day with me; sometimes just a hundred, sometimes a thousand or more. They came each year, until they could no longer drive and were bound inside the confine of their place. It was then that I would drive to spend my birthday with them. They would bring me a special cake, it was white with special frosting and nuts all around the side. I'm not sure how she would keep it fresh after being in the car for such a long time, but I could hardly contain my excitement when my special visitors arrived.

My grandparents celebrated my life each year with me, and then when we had kids, they celebrated the life of my kids each year, until they no longer could remember.

At first, when it was decided that my birthday would be the chosen day to say goodbye to my dearly loved favorite grandpa, I had a hard time hiding my disappointment. I thought upon the event for awhile. I thought about all the sacrifices that they made each year to be with me to celebrate my life on my special day. My grandparents came from humble means as well. Just their presence watching me blow out my candles was the greatest gift of all.

So, it only seems fitting for me to spend my birthday one last time with one of the most important men in my life; he was there for me from the very beginning. While he is with me only in spirit, I know that we are still together. He is celebrating the day that I breathed my first breath, I am celebrating the day he breathed his last earthly breath.

My birthday from this day forward will forever be different, I will always feel his absence. Yet, I will always be reminded of his love for me in just the simple act of blowing out a candle and a hundred other little things that we used to do together like walk hand in hand to the corner store down the street from his house, or sit on the porch and eat watermelon or watch The Three Stooges or sing Amazing Grace together.

The thing that I will most remember is my grandpa's passion for Jesus and his unconditional love for me. Sometimes when I was going through the hardest valleys in my life, I would just go and sit with him. As soon as I walked in through the door, I knew I was loved. I knew grandpa wasn't going to judge me or scold me or tell me how terrible I looked that day, he always told me how blessed he was that I came.

I don't wish him back. He is with the rest of my family. He isn't suffering or confined to a chair or bed. He has a new body and sheds no more tears. My grandpa is experiencing a joy that he never had here. My hope rests that some day, I will see him again, for I have the assurance beyond a shadow of a doubt that he is in Heaven with my Heavenly Father. His soul is still alive, only his earthly body is dead. The person and character that my grandpa was will live forever!