Stuffed

A joyful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones. Prov. 17:22


Stuffing should only be found in turkeys or pillows...You can only put so much in at one time and then there is no more room. We all handle our emotions in different ways. Some of us are like a firehose, we just let it all coming gushing out without regard for the person on the other end. Some of us are like crock pots. We push feelings down until the pot is ready to explode. Whatever the emotion is; whether it is feeling alone, sadness, anger, feeling disrespected, or annoyed, stuffing these feelings over a period of time is not healthy.

Time and time again, my path crosses with people young and old who do not know how to balance their feelings in a healthy way. Feelings are given to us by God. How we handle them is a personal choice. I wish part of school curriculum in health class dealt with what are emotions and how do we handle them starting at a young age. So many kids and teenagers now are caught in the crossfire of their parents' divorce and don't know what to do with their hearts. It is hard for them to be honest and express how they are feeling and even worse, knowing who they can trust. We are becoming a society who hides behind a mask and in turn we act rudely, curtly, dishonoring and devaluing other human beings.

There was a time in my life, when so many experiences had happened to me, that I couldn't even put a label on the emotion...today I feel confused, angry, sad. There was a whole list sitting in front of me and I couldn't even attach one word to what I was feeling. Feeling numb is the result of stuffing. It has taken me many years to realize that the first place to release negative emotions is God. I realize that He knows everything we are thinking and feeling, however, knowing He is there and is willing to hear the good and the bad in life helps me find peace. When I need a person in the flesh, it is important to find a safe friend, spouse or someone who can be trusted to talk things out. I have often found that Satan loves to keep us in place where we are isolated. God has created us to be in community and a simple "Will you pray for me today?" can be very healing. The words "I understand what you are going through", is so comforting for me. I often heard the saying, "To have a friend, takes the willingness on our part to be a friend." Journaling for me is another priceless tool to express words that can't or shouldn't be expressed out loud!

Do you take the time to look on the faces of those you meet and study their expressions? Are they full of joy or do you see other emotions? Some like only to hear the reply when asked "How are you?", fine! But what if the expression that you read doesn't match the response? Do you care enough to go beyond the response to take the next step and ask another question? Often it only takes a few seconds to share encouraging words to another that can change the direction of their day or make a difference for years to come.

Ties that Bind

Family

“I have learned that to be with those I like is enough” ― Walt Whitman― 

“A dysfunctional family is any family with more than one person in it.” Mary Karr, 

“Strangers take a long time to become acquainted, particularly when they are from the same family.”The Liars' Club

Family is the one human institution we have no choice over. We get in simply by being born, and as a result we are involuntarily thrown together with a menagerie of strange and unlike people...Henri Nouwen once defined a community as “a place where the person you least want to live with always lives.”― Philip Yancey, Church
To maintain a joyful family requires much from both the parents and the children. Each member of the family has to become, in a special way, the servant of the others. 
Pope John Paul II

What images come to mind when you think of the word family? Is it loving compassionate parents who were your biggest cheerleaders and fans? Is it children who warm your heart, make you laugh and cry in the same breath? Is it someone who was a role model to you your entire life or was it someone you vowed to never become?

Family is part of our commnity, close and far. It is a group of people woven into the fabric of our being filled with a lifetime of experiences, joys and sorrows. Sometimes people in our family heal our hearts and many times break them too. I believe that God uses family to test us in ways beyond comprehension and teach us to extend grace and forgiveness, even when it seems impossible. He uses family to stretch us, bump us, bruise us and touch us with His unconditional love. Many people believe that family = relationship. 

Relationship is something that takes work on behalf of two people. It is investment of time, money and emotional ties as well as personal sacrifice. Relationship is simply a choice. Without personal investment into the life of another whether the relationship is immediate family like marriage, or with extended family, without work, the relationship will cease to exist. If we value an individual, then we will seek to know who they are even as life moves on as we continue to evolve through life experiences. It takes little time to pick up the phone and call, send a text or even a card to say, hey I'm thinking about you, you matter to me. I think at times we become so engrossed in our own lives that we forget to look outside of our own close circles to make the extra effort. Actions speak louder than words. 

Family brings out the best and the worst in us. When I think about all the lessons I have learned from my family all of these years I am amazed. My kids are like looking at my reflection in the mirror. I can't lie, they hear every word I say and see how I treat others. They see how certain family members drive me crazy and witness my lack of self-control in holding my tongue or my lack of want to let go of an offense. When I think of the immense responsibility that we hold in how we treat our elderly parents, knowing some day they will treat us the same, or how we make the effort to get together with extended family knowing that some day that will shape how they treat extended family when they have their own family creates a sense of urgency to go the extra mile.

I think that Pope John Paul had it right. Being a servant doesn't come easy for anyone. Having the right motive in serving others is even more difficult. Do I do something because I want to, or do I do something for someone else out of sense of duty? Treating everyone with respect, honor and dignity at all times in every situation, especially to those that we call family is the most difficult. So many of us take family for granted until they are no longer with us. Family gatherings can be times of joy, but they can also take us back in time to memories that are not so favorable. It is up to us, to leave the past behind, and truly find acceptance of each person, in the present not for what they once were. 

Our earthly families are just a picture of what heaven will look like, when there are no sibling rivalries or favored ones. Everyone will have realized their true potential and we will all experience unconditional love for each other. 

Wedded Bliss

24 years, a long time for some, was a blink of an eye for me! It is amazing to me how life experiences, children and time can change the course of your life. The day you say I do, you have so many plans and dreams and life takes you on an adventure with many twists and turns.

Each year that passes, I learn so much more about myself and the man that I met so many years ago. Some people get the one year itch, the five year itch, the seven year itch, the 20 year itch. When we said I do, we said we wouldn't say the "D" word in our house. There are many fabulous days and a few here and there that are not so fabulous. Anyone that tells you otherwise, either has a problem with reality or is a straight out liar. We all live with our strengths and our weaknesses. Much of life is about compromise and acceptance of who you chose as a life mate. As you learn to love your spouse unconditionally, it is easier to weather the storms and the suprises that come your way.

Having a spouse makes us complete, or they compliment us. Marriage is created to fill in the gaps of where we are weak. When I think of my life, there are so many areas where I fall short and Paul comes in and saves the day! It is easy to put on a "I have my act together" to others, but our spouse knows the real truth, there is no hiding! I think the picture of being on the same team is huge. So many distractions can keep two people from heading together on the same path, however it is a choice to find things to do together and enjoy being together. Change is inevitable, kids grow up and move on. Relationship is what ties people together over time.

I find so many wonderful qualities in Paul that I am seeing passed on to our kids such as loyalty to their friends, honesty and faithfulness to family. He is a very hardworker and works to make sure they have the same work ethic. I love how Paul is spontaneous and has passed on his adventurous spirit. I also love how he is the leader of our family and tries to instill in the kids how important Christ and being part of a church family is so important.

I am so thankful I married Paul years ago and for his love and devotion to me. I know my dad must be proud, he always wanted to know that I was being well taken care of in his absence.

Here's to many more!!!

Lost and Found

Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours. Mark 11:24

Have you ever lost something that might give you a heart attack and you can't sleep at night; like a wallet, a credit card, a debit card, a set of keys? At one time or another I have lost all of these.

Three days ago, a large set of keys from every car and the house key, and a credit card disappeared. Needless to say, I took to my knees praying for God's goodness and mercy. We searched the house and the garage for two days straight and a path to and from our house numerous times. At night I had nightmares that people were stalking our cars and trying to get into our house. I guess you could say that I had a panic attack.

When we first noticed, I decided to continually pray and trust that God was going to show His faithfulness one more time to us in our moments of humanity. How and why it happened is of no consequence however I will say that it was short of miraculous how He was faithful. The only identifying thing on the ring of keys was our gym membership card. Last night we felt compelled to go to the gym and see if anyone was our good samaritan.

To my utter relief and thankfulness, someone had indeed found our keys. The first words out of my mouth were "Thank you Jesus". When I came home, the family said that we had been praying that God would hear and answer! I continued to search the house for the card and decided to call the card company to cancel. They said that a good samaritan had found it and put a hold on our account.

One could argue that I am forgetful or human. I see things as an exercise in learning from one's mistakes and having faith that God will hear and answer in the small and large things that happen to us on a daily basis. While things may not always work out with a happy ending as ours was, I happen to believe that these experiences are all stepping stones, with our kids watching that God is faithful and watches over His children. They are also beginning to see that when we cry out to Him, He does hear and He does answer. Sometimes it takes a little while, but He wants us to ask with a belief that He does know what is best for us!

Parched

Arizona is hot and dry. We aren't there yet, however the need for water is already upon us. Many of our tourists don't realize the importance of drinking lots of water every day, and we ourselves forget at first when the temperatures rise.

For the past two days I have had no energy. I have been taking naps for the first time in many months. Life has been spinning at such a rapid pace, there was little time for rest. Today as I was sitting outside under the fan, in absolute silence I started reflecting on the past month of my life. As a parent, there are so many hats that you wear. Both of our kids have gone through a tough time in school the past month, I've been a support to my mom as she watched my grandpa fail, I worked a part-time job, and the list goes on as it does for so many.

Each day I prayed the Lord's Prayer, Lord give us this day our daily bread. For me that meant help me start what I finished each day, increasing the caffeine by the glass. Until yesterday, I hit a wall, almost as if I was a car without gas, no energy to run one more errand, do one more task. I reflected where I've been as I glared into my pool, with fresh sparkling water. It made my mind travel back to the events of this past Sunday morning, one tub full of water, 20 people of all different ages, taking the plunge, being baptized for the first time.

I started to think about what the significance water holds in the act of baptism and how it parallels to blood, the blood of Jesus. Blood washes away our sins, giving us spiritual cleanliness, a second chance so to speak. Water can give us physical cleanliness. Both have the power to make us clean and give us a fresh start. Then I decided to research water in Scripture. I came across this passage, I John 5:5-9 "Who is it that overcomes the world? Only the one who believes that Jesus is the Son of God. This is the one who came by water and blood - Jesus Christ. He did not only come by water only, but by water and blood. And it is the Spirit who testiifes, because the Spirit is truth. For there are three that testify: the Spirit, the water and the blood; and the three are in agreement".

What is this saying to me you might ask? The answer to the problems of this world lie in the hands of the one who is in charge, God. He sent His son Jesus through human birth (water and blood), His baptism and His death. There are three that witnessed all of these events; God the Father, God the Son and God the Holy Spirit.

It is amazing to me that you can read and reread Scripture and it is only God that give us the eyes to see and the ability to understand. He confirmed what I was thinking but at a deeper level, I truly am simple-minded!

As I pondered, my mind went back to a mental picture that a friend gave me long ago. It was an image of a beautiful watering can that I used to water my flower beds to make my gorgeous flowers flourish and grow. As I pour out the can slowly, eventually the can becomes empty and there is nothing more to pour out. At some point, it is important for me to return with my can to the source of water. Without the water, soon even the most beautiful flower buds will become thirsty, wither and die.

I am just like the watering can. There are so many ministries that God calls us to. I pour out my entire being to numerous individuals until the watering can is bone dry and there is not an ounce to give to another. Jesus clearly gave me an answer to the mental picture that He restored to memory. It is from the story in John 4 about the Samaritan woman who is at the well drawing water. Jesus asks her for a drink and she is doubting why He is asking her, because she is a Samaritan and He is a Jew, the two don't socialize...

His response is found in verse 13 and 14: "Everyone who drinks this water will be thirsty again but whoever drinks the water I give them will never thirst. Indeed the water I give them will become in them a spring of water welling up to eternal life."

First we come to know Christ, then He transforms our life, we choose to be Baptized as an expression of our desire to follow Jesus. Out of that desire, we study our Bible to know more about Him and as an outward expression we want to serve others by loving them unconditionally. True followers serve out of love for Jesus, not for want of doing good works or working our way into the Kingdom. We say yes to serving others because we love Him. When the watering can is dry, then it is time to Be still, to return to the One who gives us the water to refresh our soul, a spring of water, welling up to eternal life.
Jesus is the source for all power and strength and He is the one that refresh our souls.

Humbled

Many of us wonder what people would say about us when we pass on, a tribute, kind words of thanks. There are probably only a few times we can count on one hand when someone honors us with their words.

I had the pleasant surprise of reading a tribute recently that a young writer wrote about me. Her writing was so clear and concise, just the kind of person that you would choose to write your biography if one was so inclined. She was so eloquent in capturing my heart. Hearing and being able to reproduce one's thoughts and spoken words is a true gift, one that only a few behold.

As I finished, I felt so humbled. My mind quickly turned to John 15. It says "I am the vine, you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit, apart from me you can do nothing...If you remain in me and my words remain in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be done to you. This is to my Father's glory, that you bear much fruit, showing yourselves to be my disciples."

The things that she heard me say, and the way she sees me live is because Jesus lives in me. There is nothing that I can take credit for myself. I've asked the Lord to use me with an open heart and open hands. Sometimes when we pray, we are tempted to take credit when the Lord shows up and answers. However, we in and of ourselves have no power to change anyone. It is only the Holy Spirit that can draw a soul to Himself. We are simply earthly vessels to be used by Him to point others to Jesus.

To be more specific, without Jesus, I have the power to do nothing. It has taken me a lifetime to understand that Jesus is the King of Kings, the one with all the Power, the ability to give men authority, and the one to diminish one's power. He gives us wealth and He has the power to take it away. He is Sovereign, yet He loves us enough to allow us to make our own freewill choices. It is only because of the cross, that my life has been transformed, and that He is willing to use an imperfect being like me.

Thank you, my young friend for noticing how I'm striving to be more like Him. There can be no higher compliment than someone saying, you are somehow different, you look familiar, you resemble someone that I know. My prayer is that as I grow older, I will look more like HIM!

A Birthday to Remember

Life in the beginning for me was simple. We were from humble means, no flashy birthday parties, trips or extravagant gifts. I only recall one party when I was growing up, three or four friends came over for homemade cupcakes, I must have been 7 or 8. Birthdays came and went without much fanfare. I'm sure there must have been gifts, however I can't remember what one of them was.

What I do remember however, was visitors that would come each year for my birthday, sometimes traveling for many miles to celebrate the day with me; sometimes just a hundred, sometimes a thousand or more. They came each year, until they could no longer drive and were bound inside the confine of their place. It was then that I would drive to spend my birthday with them. They would bring me a special cake, it was white with special frosting and nuts all around the side. I'm not sure how she would keep it fresh after being in the car for such a long time, but I could hardly contain my excitement when my special visitors arrived.

My grandparents celebrated my life each year with me, and then when we had kids, they celebrated the life of my kids each year, until they no longer could remember.

At first, when it was decided that my birthday would be the chosen day to say goodbye to my dearly loved favorite grandpa, I had a hard time hiding my disappointment. I thought upon the event for awhile. I thought about all the sacrifices that they made each year to be with me to celebrate my life on my special day. My grandparents came from humble means as well. Just their presence watching me blow out my candles was the greatest gift of all.

So, it only seems fitting for me to spend my birthday one last time with one of the most important men in my life; he was there for me from the very beginning. While he is with me only in spirit, I know that we are still together. He is celebrating the day that I breathed my first breath, I am celebrating the day he breathed his last earthly breath.

My birthday from this day forward will forever be different, I will always feel his absence. Yet, I will always be reminded of his love for me in just the simple act of blowing out a candle and a hundred other little things that we used to do together like walk hand in hand to the corner store down the street from his house, or sit on the porch and eat watermelon or watch The Three Stooges or sing Amazing Grace together.

The thing that I will most remember is my grandpa's passion for Jesus and his unconditional love for me. Sometimes when I was going through the hardest valleys in my life, I would just go and sit with him. As soon as I walked in through the door, I knew I was loved. I knew grandpa wasn't going to judge me or scold me or tell me how terrible I looked that day, he always told me how blessed he was that I came.

I don't wish him back. He is with the rest of my family. He isn't suffering or confined to a chair or bed. He has a new body and sheds no more tears. My grandpa is experiencing a joy that he never had here. My hope rests that some day, I will see him again, for I have the assurance beyond a shadow of a doubt that he is in Heaven with my Heavenly Father. His soul is still alive, only his earthly body is dead. The person and character that my grandpa was will live forever!