A soft answer turns away wrath! Proverbs 15:1
Several weeks back, I was out and about with my daughter. As I usually do, I started making light conversation with one of my daughter's friends. All of a sudden her mom came storming in like thunder just yelling at me. She accused me of several things. Her rant went on for several minutes.
I have to admit, I have been known to stick my foot in my mouth or say the wrong thing at the wrong time. This time, my motives were pure, my words full of grace. It was like I was struck by lightening without just cause! It took me hours to unreal from the lashing that I took without justification, all for the sake of just being friendly. My first reaction was utter shock, I humbly apologized with only great vengeance in return. The most shocking thing about the episode was that this woman in the past has made great effort to acknowledge that she is a Christian. I won't go there except to say that at that very moment, I wasn't quite feeling the quiet gentle voice of the Savior, I was feeling the wrath and the accusatory voice of you know who! My second wave of emotion was really? I was feeling a little annoyed, Ok it wasn't just a little. I kept replaying the video in my head how insanely she had reacted.
Finally I stepped back from the situation and tried to analyze the cause behind the rant. Was she in midlife crisis? Was there an explosion in her home that morning and I was the closest whipping post? Had bitterness built up in her about the opinions from others and I was the tip of the iceberg? I had hoped that her daughter was out of ear shot from the whole ugly scene. I know if it were mine she would be highly embarrased. I didn't wish that on her sweet daughter who knew the intentions of our conversation. Many days later her daughter called mine to apologize for the behavior of her mom. It made me feel badly for her.
As I walked through my day, I decided to take a different course, one that I sadly don't take very often. In the quietness of my car, I bowed my head. I asked the Lord to be with her that day. I asked God's blessing on her in the midst of her own inner turmoil. I wish that was always my first response. I have to be honest and admit that I don't always take the high road, and furthermore, it wasn't my first response. I made a comment first to a couple of people close to me how I had been unjustly slighted. I wish I would have bowed my head first. It is amazing what happened to me when I prayed for her. It was like He took a burden off my shoulders that I didn't have to carry.
I can't say that I will be the first to jump in her path. I haven't seen her since. Actually after you are bitten, you don't quite want to walk down the same road again. I'm not sure what all the lessons were from that experience, but thankfully God brought to mind that a soft answer turns away wrath and to pray for your enemies. One of our former pastors used to say that true character comes out when we are bumped. Thankfully He doesn't allow me to be bumped like that too often, oh maybe I shouldn't have said that too loud. I guess when we aren't looking the lightening can come at any unexpected moment! How I respond is up to me!
Thursday, April 25, 2013
Monday, April 22, 2013
Ah Ha Moment
My mood was somber as I visited my grandfather today. I witnessed a smile but there were no words. He experienced another major stroke over the weekend. I think he has no words left yet he knew who I was and he knew my voice. My stay was short and sweet, with him!
I left and had a long heart to heart conversation with his caretaker. It was then that God answered some of the questions that I have been asking for months, why God are you leaving grandpa here? Why does he lay bed ridden? Why haven't you taken him home when he has been a faithful servant all of his life? It seems like he has fulfilled his purpose here, why does he continue to have to suffer?
I think many of us are afraid of asking God questions? Not me. I see my relationship with Jesus as if my kids were talking to me. Sometimes it is weeks, months, years before I receive an answer. Today He gave me some answers through the caretaker and it has changed my outlook on my grandfather's final days.
Society seems to think that as we age, we serve little purpose. Care centers are popping up faster than any other commercial buildings nationwide to care for those who are aging. Many elderly are stuck in homes to waste away. Some families choose to stay away for whatever their reasons may be. Over the years I have come to appreciate those who are aging. They are treasure boxes full of wisdom and experience that is tucked away in complexes, homes. The aged once had their youth, successful careers, travelling the world, productive members of society.
Grandpa has had nothing but time on his hands for years. He used to sit and wait for the infrequent family visitors, telling stories of how God saved his life on numerous occasions, his time serving in the World War in the Philippines, how his mother missed the Titanic, how he just missed a store's explosion by just 5 minutes. Again and again he told of how God had saved him, restored his soul, singing God's praises for transforming his life. He didn't just tell us the stories of God's faithfulness, he also told the stories to the people in the hospitals, the rehabilitation centers and now the group home where he will breathe his final breath.
It was no coincidence that grandpa landed up in the home where he now resides. Grandpa was raised in the Greek Orthodox Church, so were his caretakers. Again and again grandpa has been talking about the Gospel message, Jesus loves us so much, he died, was buried and after 3 days rose from the dead. The caretaker shared about all of their conversations in the house and that grandpa has brushed death numerous times.
Her last story though struck me the most. The path of my dying grandma who has been gone for a year and a half is very similar to my grandfather's which they find very intriguing. For six weeks my grandma called out Please God...My grandpa a couple of weeks ago when asked by the nurse if he was in pain said that he is carrying the pain and burdens of many that he loves. She said that it seems like they are interceding in prayer for his family. It made me think that all of this time, in the moments of quietness and silence, that as parents and grandparents they have spent much of their time in prayer for those that they love, in other words they are interceding for us on our behalf. While the outside world believes that they have seen better days, in their final moments, before they breathe their last breath, they know all the hardships and broken relationships and suffering that their family members and friends are enduring and yet, they are able to give one of the most precious gifts a person can possibly give, prayer. She said she can see that he is still struggling to live, however when he has finished interceding he will give up the fight.
My final thoughts to this are do I love enough to pray for those who hurt me? Do I pray for those who struggle to survive? Do I love enough to pray for those in my family who are lost? Do I love enough to judge less and pray more? Do I love to the point where I will look the other way in other's weaknesses and find joy in their strengths? Do I love enough to intercede in my moments of pain and struggle? Do I trust enough to ask for strength to walk through the trials in life? Am I willing to put myself on the line to share the love of Jesus even in worst days? Am I willing to humble myself to ask for help when I can't make it through a dark day? Am I willing to push aside my feelings to intercede for those who have turned their backs on me? These are all questions I will continue to ponder. If grandpa could do all these things in his final days, I have part of him in me...
I left and had a long heart to heart conversation with his caretaker. It was then that God answered some of the questions that I have been asking for months, why God are you leaving grandpa here? Why does he lay bed ridden? Why haven't you taken him home when he has been a faithful servant all of his life? It seems like he has fulfilled his purpose here, why does he continue to have to suffer?
I think many of us are afraid of asking God questions? Not me. I see my relationship with Jesus as if my kids were talking to me. Sometimes it is weeks, months, years before I receive an answer. Today He gave me some answers through the caretaker and it has changed my outlook on my grandfather's final days.
Society seems to think that as we age, we serve little purpose. Care centers are popping up faster than any other commercial buildings nationwide to care for those who are aging. Many elderly are stuck in homes to waste away. Some families choose to stay away for whatever their reasons may be. Over the years I have come to appreciate those who are aging. They are treasure boxes full of wisdom and experience that is tucked away in complexes, homes. The aged once had their youth, successful careers, travelling the world, productive members of society.
Grandpa has had nothing but time on his hands for years. He used to sit and wait for the infrequent family visitors, telling stories of how God saved his life on numerous occasions, his time serving in the World War in the Philippines, how his mother missed the Titanic, how he just missed a store's explosion by just 5 minutes. Again and again he told of how God had saved him, restored his soul, singing God's praises for transforming his life. He didn't just tell us the stories of God's faithfulness, he also told the stories to the people in the hospitals, the rehabilitation centers and now the group home where he will breathe his final breath.
It was no coincidence that grandpa landed up in the home where he now resides. Grandpa was raised in the Greek Orthodox Church, so were his caretakers. Again and again grandpa has been talking about the Gospel message, Jesus loves us so much, he died, was buried and after 3 days rose from the dead. The caretaker shared about all of their conversations in the house and that grandpa has brushed death numerous times.
The prayers of a righteous man are powerful and effective. James 5:16
Her last story though struck me the most. The path of my dying grandma who has been gone for a year and a half is very similar to my grandfather's which they find very intriguing. For six weeks my grandma called out Please God...My grandpa a couple of weeks ago when asked by the nurse if he was in pain said that he is carrying the pain and burdens of many that he loves. She said that it seems like they are interceding in prayer for his family. It made me think that all of this time, in the moments of quietness and silence, that as parents and grandparents they have spent much of their time in prayer for those that they love, in other words they are interceding for us on our behalf. While the outside world believes that they have seen better days, in their final moments, before they breathe their last breath, they know all the hardships and broken relationships and suffering that their family members and friends are enduring and yet, they are able to give one of the most precious gifts a person can possibly give, prayer. She said she can see that he is still struggling to live, however when he has finished interceding he will give up the fight.
My final thoughts to this are do I love enough to pray for those who hurt me? Do I pray for those who struggle to survive? Do I love enough to pray for those in my family who are lost? Do I love enough to judge less and pray more? Do I love to the point where I will look the other way in other's weaknesses and find joy in their strengths? Do I love enough to intercede in my moments of pain and struggle? Do I trust enough to ask for strength to walk through the trials in life? Am I willing to put myself on the line to share the love of Jesus even in worst days? Am I willing to humble myself to ask for help when I can't make it through a dark day? Am I willing to push aside my feelings to intercede for those who have turned their backs on me? These are all questions I will continue to ponder. If grandpa could do all these things in his final days, I have part of him in me...
Sunday, April 21, 2013
Ebb of Silence
It's been a long time since I have posted. I don't believe in just rambling without a purpose or meaning. Words should be used sparingly. I write on the eve of my next visit, my last with my dying grandfather held few words. A few weeks ago I tried to wake him up for over a half hour to no avail. This last visit held no expectations. To my sweet surprise and God's mercy, he was awake for 90 minutes. I held his hand, rubbed his arm and watched his eyes. I sang him my favorite praise songs without end.
There weren't many words to say. Over the years we've said a lot. My grandfather, I joke has 10 lives and has lived a year and half without his wife of 70 years. He has endured more strokes than I can count. He took the place of my dad in my dad's untimely passing. We have shared almost every holiday together, and every birthday that I can remember. Without a word being said, I feel the warm love in his arms and even in the emptiness in his eyes, I can feel the warmth of love in his eyes towards me.
Soon he will be gone. I guess when you love someone so deeply and you see that they have fulfilled their purpose here, you are willing to let them go. He is only here in mind, he is bed ridden, not much movement almost without a voice. I was blessed enough to hear the words whispered as I have heard all my life, I love you with all of my heart.
God has used my grandpa to be a heavenly example of how my heavenly father feels about me. I can only imagine, His warm embrace and seeing the warmth in His eyes when one day I will be in His presence. It is truly a gift to feel that unconditional love from a human being here on earth. As our days are numbered, even just only a few more minutes I will share with grandpa on this side, how grateful I am to have had such a loving, gentle man have so much impact on my life and to have spent so many precious days and memories.
Grandpa inspires me to embrace others with that same kind of gentle spirit and warmth. While I don't always live it as well as grandpa did, I hope that some day the same will be said about me.
There weren't many words to say. Over the years we've said a lot. My grandfather, I joke has 10 lives and has lived a year and half without his wife of 70 years. He has endured more strokes than I can count. He took the place of my dad in my dad's untimely passing. We have shared almost every holiday together, and every birthday that I can remember. Without a word being said, I feel the warm love in his arms and even in the emptiness in his eyes, I can feel the warmth of love in his eyes towards me.
Soon he will be gone. I guess when you love someone so deeply and you see that they have fulfilled their purpose here, you are willing to let them go. He is only here in mind, he is bed ridden, not much movement almost without a voice. I was blessed enough to hear the words whispered as I have heard all my life, I love you with all of my heart.
God has used my grandpa to be a heavenly example of how my heavenly father feels about me. I can only imagine, His warm embrace and seeing the warmth in His eyes when one day I will be in His presence. It is truly a gift to feel that unconditional love from a human being here on earth. As our days are numbered, even just only a few more minutes I will share with grandpa on this side, how grateful I am to have had such a loving, gentle man have so much impact on my life and to have spent so many precious days and memories.
Grandpa inspires me to embrace others with that same kind of gentle spirit and warmth. While I don't always live it as well as grandpa did, I hope that some day the same will be said about me.
Tuesday, October 23, 2012
Working 9 to 5
Give us this day our daily bread...
I wonder on a given day, when people get in their cars to go to work, how many people tell God, Thank you for providing for the needs of our family through this job?
It dawned on me yesterday as I drove up to pick up my dry cleaning close to my house. I casually joked with the owner how he needed to take a day off. It seems as if he has been working a lot. I said, "you need to hire someone so you don't have to work so hard." His serious reply was, "things have changed. Life is hard for everyone now. Our business has taken a huge hit in the past year. People have cut corners everywhere, the dry cleaning business is just one more corner to be cut. Prior to last year, my pressers were working 40 hours shifts. Today if I am lucky, a good week for them is 30 hours."
There are few who have escaped the effects of the economy and most people's lives have been changed. So many people struggle to make ends meet, if they still have a job. My husband tells me when he comes home from work at times how people complain about how much they make, that it isn't enough, they need more. I think that is part of our human nature, that what we have isn't enough.
Our pastor has been doing a series on contentment the past few weeks. Yesterday was just one more living example of being content. For out of a heart of gratitude, results in contentment. Being thankful each day that my husband has a job and is willing to work for a living is another reason to Thank God.
Do you see the hand of God, providing for your daily needs through the work that you have been given? If you do, just say Thank you. He is faithful, kind and merciful in providing for us!
I wonder on a given day, when people get in their cars to go to work, how many people tell God, Thank you for providing for the needs of our family through this job?
It dawned on me yesterday as I drove up to pick up my dry cleaning close to my house. I casually joked with the owner how he needed to take a day off. It seems as if he has been working a lot. I said, "you need to hire someone so you don't have to work so hard." His serious reply was, "things have changed. Life is hard for everyone now. Our business has taken a huge hit in the past year. People have cut corners everywhere, the dry cleaning business is just one more corner to be cut. Prior to last year, my pressers were working 40 hours shifts. Today if I am lucky, a good week for them is 30 hours."
There are few who have escaped the effects of the economy and most people's lives have been changed. So many people struggle to make ends meet, if they still have a job. My husband tells me when he comes home from work at times how people complain about how much they make, that it isn't enough, they need more. I think that is part of our human nature, that what we have isn't enough.
Our pastor has been doing a series on contentment the past few weeks. Yesterday was just one more living example of being content. For out of a heart of gratitude, results in contentment. Being thankful each day that my husband has a job and is willing to work for a living is another reason to Thank God.
Do you see the hand of God, providing for your daily needs through the work that you have been given? If you do, just say Thank you. He is faithful, kind and merciful in providing for us!
Friday, October 12, 2012
What is the Purpose of Church?
I have been pondering this question for months...
I find so many people attend church today for so many different reasons. Some attend to find friends, others attend to find a spouse. Some people go to church because they have been through emotional trauma; a divorce, loss of loved one, loss of job. Some go to church to find business contacts. Some attend church because they are in a new business venture and need to add people to their tiers.
Some attend church as part of a ritual. Some people were raised going to church and it is the thing to do. Others feel that somehow attending church will add to their list of good works. Some parents feel that their children need a moral compass and think that maybe they can find it by sending their kids to a study or a church service. Some like to be entertained. They like music and know where they can find a good play or musical at Christmas or Easter. Some people come to church as part of a holiday routine, twice a year, they will do it.
There are all kinds of churches to choose from. Some are very contemporary with videos and a rock band. Some are small and personal and others are huge and one can just quickly slip in after the music starts, sit in the back row without being noticed and slide out just as quickly as they came in without saying a word to anyone. Some have been started by famous sports players. Others can provide your kids with the latest and greatest entertainment, just like home they can play the WII. Others offer entertainment for the whole family at the same time. We have become a society that wants to hear a message in byte size forms, and it has to be hip and current. Churches provide book stores and coffee shops and any kind of program you are looking for; singles, AA groups, MOMS groups, sports teams and Game nights. While all these things are good, what purpose are they providing? If they exist to point others to Jesus, bring it on. But if He isn't even mentioned then what purpose do they serve?
It is the same coast to coast, even in the midwest, churches are popping up everywhere providing what I am describing. With all the newness, current vibes blending in with today's culture one question comes to mind...
Where is Jesus?
Churches provide messages about self-help and positive thinking, talks are based on the latest and greatest new book and philosophies that have just hit the printing presses. Bible studies for the kids are based on character traits just like they teach in the public schools. Bible studies and small groups talk about how you can have a better self image and reinvent yourself, healing all of your past woes. Groups are filled with I believe, In my opinion and I feel. Where is Jesus?
Scripture or the Bible is summarized from Summarized Versions, all in reaching the most unknowledgeable or newest person off the street. There is need for that don't get me wrong, but what about the times, when not even a Scripture is read in its full context and at times not even mentioned at all. Where are Jesus' words?
Some of you may not like what I am saying at all, but I have to say, quite simply that sometimes I feel like standing up and saying, is there anyone at all any more who feels like I do? Where are the people who love the Bible? Where are the people that read it on a daily basis? I hear people say, I don't even know what the purpose of reading the bible is... I wonder how many people who attend church feel that way? I wonder if you took an honest survey from every person in every congregation and you asked them why are they at church, I wonder what they would say?
For those of us who still believe in the words sin, I am THE WAY, THE TRUTH and THE LIFE, consequences and judgment knowing there is only ONE way, we are considered fundalmentalists, traditionalists. At times, pastors believe they need to be politically correct and choose their words wisely, so that no one will be offended by the truth.
I wonder if Jesus walked into churches across America, or small groups, or even Sunday Schools, if you can find any left, what would Jesus think or say? Would He say, Where am I in these discussions? Does anyone read my words any more? Does anyone still believe that I am the only way? Does anyone still live by Scripture?
As I get older I realize, time is dwindling away. Many people are going to be blown and tossed by the wind. Their spiritual roots are growing very shallow because they are not firmly planted in their knowledge of Jesus, they don't know much about God and who He is, and they know even less about what the Bible says or even where to find anything.
Our pastor says each Sunday, church is to turn our hearts and minds toward God. I believe that statement is correct. Church is also to gather with other believers and to serve others with no strings attached. The real question comes, when people get there, Where is Jesus??
I find so many people attend church today for so many different reasons. Some attend to find friends, others attend to find a spouse. Some people go to church because they have been through emotional trauma; a divorce, loss of loved one, loss of job. Some go to church to find business contacts. Some attend church because they are in a new business venture and need to add people to their tiers.
Some attend church as part of a ritual. Some people were raised going to church and it is the thing to do. Others feel that somehow attending church will add to their list of good works. Some parents feel that their children need a moral compass and think that maybe they can find it by sending their kids to a study or a church service. Some like to be entertained. They like music and know where they can find a good play or musical at Christmas or Easter. Some people come to church as part of a holiday routine, twice a year, they will do it.
There are all kinds of churches to choose from. Some are very contemporary with videos and a rock band. Some are small and personal and others are huge and one can just quickly slip in after the music starts, sit in the back row without being noticed and slide out just as quickly as they came in without saying a word to anyone. Some have been started by famous sports players. Others can provide your kids with the latest and greatest entertainment, just like home they can play the WII. Others offer entertainment for the whole family at the same time. We have become a society that wants to hear a message in byte size forms, and it has to be hip and current. Churches provide book stores and coffee shops and any kind of program you are looking for; singles, AA groups, MOMS groups, sports teams and Game nights. While all these things are good, what purpose are they providing? If they exist to point others to Jesus, bring it on. But if He isn't even mentioned then what purpose do they serve?
It is the same coast to coast, even in the midwest, churches are popping up everywhere providing what I am describing. With all the newness, current vibes blending in with today's culture one question comes to mind...
Where is Jesus?
Churches provide messages about self-help and positive thinking, talks are based on the latest and greatest new book and philosophies that have just hit the printing presses. Bible studies for the kids are based on character traits just like they teach in the public schools. Bible studies and small groups talk about how you can have a better self image and reinvent yourself, healing all of your past woes. Groups are filled with I believe, In my opinion and I feel. Where is Jesus?
Scripture or the Bible is summarized from Summarized Versions, all in reaching the most unknowledgeable or newest person off the street. There is need for that don't get me wrong, but what about the times, when not even a Scripture is read in its full context and at times not even mentioned at all. Where are Jesus' words?
Some of you may not like what I am saying at all, but I have to say, quite simply that sometimes I feel like standing up and saying, is there anyone at all any more who feels like I do? Where are the people who love the Bible? Where are the people that read it on a daily basis? I hear people say, I don't even know what the purpose of reading the bible is... I wonder how many people who attend church feel that way? I wonder if you took an honest survey from every person in every congregation and you asked them why are they at church, I wonder what they would say?
For those of us who still believe in the words sin, I am THE WAY, THE TRUTH and THE LIFE, consequences and judgment knowing there is only ONE way, we are considered fundalmentalists, traditionalists. At times, pastors believe they need to be politically correct and choose their words wisely, so that no one will be offended by the truth.
I wonder if Jesus walked into churches across America, or small groups, or even Sunday Schools, if you can find any left, what would Jesus think or say? Would He say, Where am I in these discussions? Does anyone read my words any more? Does anyone still believe that I am the only way? Does anyone still live by Scripture?
As I get older I realize, time is dwindling away. Many people are going to be blown and tossed by the wind. Their spiritual roots are growing very shallow because they are not firmly planted in their knowledge of Jesus, they don't know much about God and who He is, and they know even less about what the Bible says or even where to find anything.
Our pastor says each Sunday, church is to turn our hearts and minds toward God. I believe that statement is correct. Church is also to gather with other believers and to serve others with no strings attached. The real question comes, when people get there, Where is Jesus??
Wednesday, October 3, 2012
Less than Perfect
Tonight our topic in our youth group was, why is it that we feel we need to be perfect? Even more applicable to us, why do Christians feel they have to wear the persona of being perfect?
I have thought about this question so many times in my life. I even thought of a title for a book; for it was my childhood story "Voices from Inside the Glass House". Being a daughter of a pastor, I felt as if all eyes were on me. From a young age, people noticed if I ran in church, was talking or passed notes to my friends during a service.
My list of rules were longer than my daughter's hair. Some would say, I lived through legalism. For those of you who don't know what legalism is, it is a set of rules created by men as part of a religion. They could be don't go to movies, don't go to dances, don't ever drink alchohol. For some, this will be hard to read and understand. Fear was my guide for living and abiding by the list of rules. Today I understand rules from a different perspective which I will talk about later on, however then all I knew was that if I didn't abide by "all the rules" that I would be a bad reflection on my dad and his place in the church. Was this just my perception, that all eyes were on me? Not hardly! Many people put my dad and everyone who lived under his roof under the same microscope waiting for one of us to make a mistake.
I learned to wear a false sense that everything in my world was perfect, that I never made mistakes and neither did my parents. However, it was so hard to wear the mask and hide behind the phisod, I wanted to break free. I used to have a recurring dream that I was a bird, flying high over the city where I could see everything from very high heights. I was free. I think it was a representation that I truly disliked living a glass house. It wasn't a life that I had chosen, I was born into the glass house on display for all to see. I played the part well. I attended all the wedding showers, baby showers, weddings with my parents, playing the grown up child. Outwardly I followed all the rules and inwardly, I couldn't wait to escape the glass house. My prayer was that God wouldn't make me marry a pastor or missionary to force me to live and raise children back in the glass house.
It started to make me think that God was watching my every move too like every other human being, waiting for me to make one wrong move. If I was a good child, He would love me. If I made a mistake, then I would have to work hard to earn His love and trust back. It took me until I was 35 to accept the fact that I didn't have to do one single thing to earn the love of the Heavenly Father. He loves me unconditionally no matter what I say or do. He isn't mankind, giving bars of performance that I have to reach to gain His love. I don't have to say the right things all the time or follow every single rule perfectly to gain His approval.
In essence I felt that I had to live perfectly to gain approval of man. I learned to live life to please others. I wasn't following the rules out of love and respect for God, I was following the rules out of respect for my family or how we would viewed.
The Bible says there is no one righteous (right with God), no not one. We all have sinned and fall short of the Glory of God. This is so freeing to know and believe that every human being on earth is not perfect. We ALL make mistakes. Whether we are a student, or a teacher, parent or a child, grandparent, young or old, as long as we are breathing, on a daily basis, we will all continue to make mistakes. Having said that, it means that we all need to extend grace to others in their moments of humanness. Not one of us can stand on the outside of the glass house looking in on the life of another and think that we have the right to put their life under a microscope.
Today I read the Bible and there are many commandments that Jesus gave us like Do not Steal, Do not murder, Do not commit adultery. They are not just a list of rules. There are natural consequences to the commands. Some consequences cause us to suffer personally, others do damage to those around us. The rules were not created to keep us from fun, they were for our protection and protection of those around us. These are not rules that I nor my pastor made up, they are God's commandments. I have personally seen the consequences and the lives are destroyed by some choosing to break these commandments. There is still forgiveness even in making mistakes that I have spoken of. God says if we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins.
I always tell my kids that I will love them no matter what they say or do. Sometimes they challenge that statement, but in the end, regardless of their actions, they are still my child. God feels the same way about us. He knows that we are going to make wrong choices and break His commandments from time to time, yet He still loves me anyways!
I have thought about this question so many times in my life. I even thought of a title for a book; for it was my childhood story "Voices from Inside the Glass House". Being a daughter of a pastor, I felt as if all eyes were on me. From a young age, people noticed if I ran in church, was talking or passed notes to my friends during a service.
My list of rules were longer than my daughter's hair. Some would say, I lived through legalism. For those of you who don't know what legalism is, it is a set of rules created by men as part of a religion. They could be don't go to movies, don't go to dances, don't ever drink alchohol. For some, this will be hard to read and understand. Fear was my guide for living and abiding by the list of rules. Today I understand rules from a different perspective which I will talk about later on, however then all I knew was that if I didn't abide by "all the rules" that I would be a bad reflection on my dad and his place in the church. Was this just my perception, that all eyes were on me? Not hardly! Many people put my dad and everyone who lived under his roof under the same microscope waiting for one of us to make a mistake.
I learned to wear a false sense that everything in my world was perfect, that I never made mistakes and neither did my parents. However, it was so hard to wear the mask and hide behind the phisod, I wanted to break free. I used to have a recurring dream that I was a bird, flying high over the city where I could see everything from very high heights. I was free. I think it was a representation that I truly disliked living a glass house. It wasn't a life that I had chosen, I was born into the glass house on display for all to see. I played the part well. I attended all the wedding showers, baby showers, weddings with my parents, playing the grown up child. Outwardly I followed all the rules and inwardly, I couldn't wait to escape the glass house. My prayer was that God wouldn't make me marry a pastor or missionary to force me to live and raise children back in the glass house.
It started to make me think that God was watching my every move too like every other human being, waiting for me to make one wrong move. If I was a good child, He would love me. If I made a mistake, then I would have to work hard to earn His love and trust back. It took me until I was 35 to accept the fact that I didn't have to do one single thing to earn the love of the Heavenly Father. He loves me unconditionally no matter what I say or do. He isn't mankind, giving bars of performance that I have to reach to gain His love. I don't have to say the right things all the time or follow every single rule perfectly to gain His approval.
In essence I felt that I had to live perfectly to gain approval of man. I learned to live life to please others. I wasn't following the rules out of love and respect for God, I was following the rules out of respect for my family or how we would viewed.
The Bible says there is no one righteous (right with God), no not one. We all have sinned and fall short of the Glory of God. This is so freeing to know and believe that every human being on earth is not perfect. We ALL make mistakes. Whether we are a student, or a teacher, parent or a child, grandparent, young or old, as long as we are breathing, on a daily basis, we will all continue to make mistakes. Having said that, it means that we all need to extend grace to others in their moments of humanness. Not one of us can stand on the outside of the glass house looking in on the life of another and think that we have the right to put their life under a microscope.
Today I read the Bible and there are many commandments that Jesus gave us like Do not Steal, Do not murder, Do not commit adultery. They are not just a list of rules. There are natural consequences to the commands. Some consequences cause us to suffer personally, others do damage to those around us. The rules were not created to keep us from fun, they were for our protection and protection of those around us. These are not rules that I nor my pastor made up, they are God's commandments. I have personally seen the consequences and the lives are destroyed by some choosing to break these commandments. There is still forgiveness even in making mistakes that I have spoken of. God says if we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins.
I always tell my kids that I will love them no matter what they say or do. Sometimes they challenge that statement, but in the end, regardless of their actions, they are still my child. God feels the same way about us. He knows that we are going to make wrong choices and break His commandments from time to time, yet He still loves me anyways!
God died in our place, gave us grace and mercy for our weaknesses when we didn't deserve it, why are we not able to do the same with others?
Monday, September 10, 2012
Seriously?
I've always been told that I am so serious. At times I wish I could be the life of the party like Dylan, my son. He is always cracking jokes, looking for an adventure, waiting for the opportunity to have a party. He doesn't take much in life seriously.
I am always deep in thought even when I sleep. I look back through my posts and see that few of them are less than serious. I don't read fiction or magazines that are trivial for the most part. When I read, it is for a specific purpose; a parenting book, a marriage book, a spiritual growth book, a devotional book, the Bible. I do read the news on the internet, however that is depressing and futile at best. If you want to make yourself depressed, read the news. I figure it is better than watching reruns of the same thing over and over. It is important that I stay current and know what is going on around me but I don't want to be consumed with the media's twisted perspective on the most current political debate.
I look around and see that most of what happens in life is serious. People around me are getting laid off, changing jobs, going for medical testing, getting cancer treatments, taking their child to emergency for stitches, or sitting in the hospital with their child fighting pneumonia. Life happens!
Do you ever wish you could go back in time, free from responsibilities, free from wondering when the next event will happen? Life experiences dampers the carefree life of our past. I wish at times I could be carefree, yet at the beginning of the year I asked God to teach me what it meant to love my neighbor as myself. Loving means sharing in the lives of others.
Ecclesiastes Chapter 3 Says it all:
I am always deep in thought even when I sleep. I look back through my posts and see that few of them are less than serious. I don't read fiction or magazines that are trivial for the most part. When I read, it is for a specific purpose; a parenting book, a marriage book, a spiritual growth book, a devotional book, the Bible. I do read the news on the internet, however that is depressing and futile at best. If you want to make yourself depressed, read the news. I figure it is better than watching reruns of the same thing over and over. It is important that I stay current and know what is going on around me but I don't want to be consumed with the media's twisted perspective on the most current political debate.
I look around and see that most of what happens in life is serious. People around me are getting laid off, changing jobs, going for medical testing, getting cancer treatments, taking their child to emergency for stitches, or sitting in the hospital with their child fighting pneumonia. Life happens!
Do you ever wish you could go back in time, free from responsibilities, free from wondering when the next event will happen? Life experiences dampers the carefree life of our past. I wish at times I could be carefree, yet at the beginning of the year I asked God to teach me what it meant to love my neighbor as myself. Loving means sharing in the lives of others.
Ecclesiastes Chapter 3 Says it all:
A Time for Everything
3 There is a time for everything,
and a season for every activity under the heavens:
and a season for every activity under the heavens:
2 a time to be born and a time to die
a time to plant and a time to uproot,
3 a time to kill and a time to heal,
a time to tear down and a time to build,
4 a time to weep and a time to laugh,
a time to mourn and a time to dance,
5 a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing,
6 a time to search and a time to give up,
a time to keep and a time to throw away,
7 a time to tear and a time to mend,
a time to be silent and a time to speak,
8 a time to love and a time to hate,
a time for war and a time for peace.
10 I have seen the burden God has laid on the human race. 12 I know that there is nothing better for people than to be happy and to do good while they live.
If you read many of these verses they are serious. While God created me to be serious and have a compassionate heart for others, I'm thinking I need to take some lessons from my son and lighten up. Maybe I need to learn how to dance...
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