Love Your Daughter(s) as Yourself

Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old, he will not turn from it. Proverbs 22:6

Having a daughter is a gift from God. Ever since she was a little girl, she has been my buddy, doing female kinds of activities! I took her everywhere and we did everything together, especially when dad was out of town. We still do. Although, now is she gaining some independence from us and doesn't always want me to come with. Those moments are bittersweet, joyful that she is wanting to branch out and be her own person and sad that we are raising her to fly away.

In generations past, parents always thought it was enough to provide food, clothing, shelter and teach their kids morals and a work ethic. As I grow older I see the our responsibilities are far greater. Underlying everything is to teach them God's two greatest commandments, Love God and Love others. Your moral characteristics fall under the first commandment and your relational attributes fall under the second commandment. What are some of the things we have been working on through the years with Abby?

Every child has some of our characteristics but they are also a unique individual. Abby by far is a perfectionist. She never quits. She wants nothing less than an A and has never received a B on her report card since 3rd grade. This brings challenges. I have told her since she was little that whether it was school, music, sports, that all we expect is her to do her best, nothing less. If she failed and was doing her best then are still proud of her. This type of personality always seeks to please. She is hard on herself without us inspiring that in her.  A perfectionist can also tend to expect more from people than they have to give. We have been helping her try to extend grace to herself as well as others. Every human being is imperfect!

Some of her great qualities is that she is highly loyal to the people that she loves. She is sensitive to others and is deeply perceptive and can read a person well. She is a deep thinker and listens well before speaking. She is also a great debater especially when she is trying to gain something from us. She loves animals and is gentle in spirit. She is a lover of truth and is honest in how she feels and events that take place.

We have been challenged when to push her outside of her box, and when to stand back and just either give her space or give her a listening ear.

Gary Smalley has written a book called the Five Love Languages. It is a great book that talks about how each of us receive love. Quality time, Touch, Words of Affirmation, Acts of Service, and Gifts Given are the five languages. Abby wants our time and our words of affirmation. She loves us going out and watching her horseback lessons and shows. She thrives on praise for a job well done. We make a conscious effort to show her love in the way that speaks to her.

It is our highest goal for her that she will know who she is in God alone; that she is deeply loved by Him, not having anything to do with earning His love. We want her to know that she doesn't walk any journey alone, that she is the daughter of The King and has security in knowing that she has the keys to HIS kingdom. By knowing these principles it doesn't matter what anyone says or does to her, her self esteem is not based on how others view her. We live to please God, not men. It is my prayer that she will know an unconditional love from us, no matter what she says or does. That one day she will know what her purpose is here on earth. Finally I pray that we can partner with her in finding her gifts and talents so that she is willing to serve God and others with her time.

Tim Kimmel says, "God places no value on wealth, beauty, power and fame. True Greatness is a passionate love for God that shows itself in an unquenchable love and concern for others." To me that sums up the essence for her life in the future. Whether we think about the college she will attend, her future career, her future spouse or where she will live, if we can train her for true greatness, GOD will lead her in all of her future choices.