Little White Lie

Honesty, The Best Policy

The Lord detests lying lips, but he delights in men who are truthful. Prov. 12:22
A false witness will not go unpunished, and he who pours out lies will perish. Prov. 19:9
The tongue that brings healing is a tree of life, but a deceitful tongue crushes the spirit. Prov. 15:4


Is there such a thing as a little white lie? Is a little exaggeration or a "fish story", to make my story a little more interesting a lie? What constitutes a little white one or a big fat one? How about if I tell a lie so that I won't hurt your feelings? Is there times it is Ok to justify lying to someone for their benefit? Is it a lie if I just leave out a little bit of information so that I can achieve the results that I need? There is no such thing as a little white lie. You are either completely honest or you are being deceitful. You can't sit on the fence justifying this or that. When you have to testify in court, the saying says it all, "Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth, so help you God?"

We have all been guilty at one point or another. Lying starts at a very young age. Bobby did you eat a cookie out of the jar? Nope. I have gone to school several times and the kids ask me if I have a pet cheetah, a jacuzzi in my house, a shark in my bathroom. There is an ounce of truth in all those statements, yes, we have a cheetah but it is a stuffed animal, yes I have a jacuzzi bathtub, we have plastic sharks in our bathroom. But the truth has been twisted to make people believe something that is not so.

How about if a friend asks you if their dress makes them look fat, or if they look beautiful when you think it looks terrible? Do you just lie to appease them and make them feel better about themselves or do you find something else to say, instead of stretching the truth? How about if a telemarketer calls and you tell the kids to tell them that you aren't home? Have you ever bought something, stuck it in your closet and brought it out at a later date so you don't have to explain to your spouse about your purchase? We do all kinds of things to avoid confrontation. Why is it so hard to just tell the truth?

For some, lying is a habit that has been cultivated since childhood. A person truly doesn't even realize that they are unable to look a person in the eye and just be honest. The problem with a person who perpetually lies is that they can't keep the truth straight. They have to continue telling one lie after another to keep their story straight. In the end, they can't remember what they have said along the way. I often say that when a person continually lies, the only one who is truly deceived is the one who lies, everyone else around them sees the truth. The real tragedy for the one who lies is that they break a trust and it is such a hard thing to earn it back once it is lost. Dishonesty puts stress on friendships and other relationships because you don't ever know if you are being told the truth or if you can trust what is being said. Furthermore, the most valuable characteristic a person can have is integrity. People know that they can count on you for anything because you are honest.

Since my daughter has been a small child, almost always without exception, however she has had some human moments, if you ask her what happened between two people she will almost always tell the truth. We have encouraged honesty by diminishing the penalty if our kids are honest in their response. Lying is actually one of the 10 Commandments, You shall not give false testimony. (Ex 20:16) Colossians says Do not lie to each other since you have taken off your old self with its practices and have put on the new self which is being renewed in knowledge in the image of its Creator. (9:10)

When you are young and you lie, the consequences are minimal. As we get older, the consequences can be much greater and more lasting. Going unchecked as any other sins, a lying tongue and deceptive heart can cause one to perish in the end (Prov. 19:9). At the end of the day, I have to live with my conscience. I know in my heart if I have been honest with friends and family. Honesty may cost me something at times, however if I'm not, I create a wall between me and God and my prayers are hindered. The greatest reminder for me for so many character issues is that I have three sets of eyes watching me in my house, there is no fooling any of them. They know if I am a woman of integrity or not, I cannot hide! How about you? Do you live your life with integrity or do you have an issue being honest with others? Ask God for forgiveness if you find yourself being deceitful with others. You will be able to sleep at night if you do!