When I grow I want to be like you...

As a parent you make so many sacrfices. Thinking back having infants then toddlers probably wasn't Paul's favorite stages, although he enjoyed watching them grow and learn during each phase. As the years have gone by Paul has found new adventures to share with the kids. His adventurous spirit is one of the greatest attributes that I love about him. Many fathers are caught up in their careers and don't have the time to invest in the life and relationships with their kids. Paul has done a tremendous job over the years being a part of their life and their interests. He has sacrificed many hours with friends and even his own hobbies to do things with them. Paul taught both of the kids how to ride motorcycles when they were young. When they would fall, he would pick them up, dust them off and put them back on so they wouldn't develop a fear. Just his presence and their trust in him would give them the confidence to get back on.

Paul has passed on his love for fireworks. Each year we go back to Indiana and the kids are by his side all night laughing and having a great time. At times, I get nervous but enjoy watching them be together! It is a tradition, one that the kids can't wait to do year after year!

For years, Paul has traded in his Saturday mornings when he could have been riding his harley or going to the gym to sit out watching Abby ride her horse. Many times he comes home exhausted from his trips, sometimes only getting 5 hours of sleep the night before. He stops and gets a large coffee and spends the morning with Abby. Many times on his days off, he gets up with her at 5:30 to take her out to ride. Some used to think that he was watching her progress but she loves him being there. 

Paul has spent time with Dylan teaching him how to play ball, riding bikes. I love how Paul always makes deals with the kids to help them achieve their goals and help them be the best that they can possibly be. Paul can fix almost anything whether it is a dryer or a part on the car. Dylan has always loved to tear things apart and now Paul has begun to teach Dylan how to fix things too. Dylan's newest project was tearing the old computer apart. Paul taught him to connect the small inner fan to a battery that actually works. Dylan has a fascination with how things work. When he was six months old, laying on the floor trying to get the wheel to work on his stroller and watching to see how it was put together. Paul understands how Dylan's mind works and often can see ahead of Dylan and challenges him in things that interest him.

I am confident that the kids will look back on their life and really appreciate that Paul has invested his time and energy into just "being there", involved in their day to day activities. He has hardly ever missed a game, a concert, a birthday party, halloween. Although work takes him away from time to time, he goes to great lengths to rework things often at his own expense to be there for them. I am so thankful for all that he does and all that he has personally invested in each one of them as individuals. How blessed Abby and Dylan are and have been to have Paul for a dad! Happy Father's Day Paul, we all love you!!!

Celebrating Dad...

Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. These commandments that I give you today are to be upon your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. Write them on the doorframes of your houses and your gates. Deuteronomy 6:5-9

Father's Day is always bittersweet for me! I love that we can celebrate Paul but I also walk through the card isle with a lump in my throat, remembering...

This is how my dad looked to many; on a Sunday morning, at a wedding, or a funeral, my dad had several different colors depending on the occasion. This was his work outfit to me. I always thought he looked so handsome all dressed up! He was always so careful to make sure his tie was the sharpest part of the outfit! I went to church with him every Sunday morning at 6:30 a.m to fold bulletins. He was studying in his office for his sermons. Dad had so much knowledge of the Bible and had such a humble way of sharing with others how much Jesus loves us! We were there every time the door opened until everyone had left and the door was locked. Dad instilled in us the importance of being a part of a church family and honoring God by spending the Sabbath at church!

Dad was always faithful and supportive of our family. He was serious and committed to the work of the kingdom but I loved the fact that he loved me unconditionally and believed in me. He always told me that with God's help I could achieve anything that I set my mind to. He also reminded me many times that I am here on this earth for a specific purpose. 

 

This is the man that no one outside of the family got to see. Dad LOVED to fish! We would sit in the boat at sun up and as the sun was setting for almost every family vacation in the upper penisula of Michigan. My dad was always layed back. He was such a patient teacher and out of his love for me and his kind heart, he would always put the worm on the hook and take the fish off. I hated both of those jobs and he got so much joy out of doing those things for me. He wanted to take me in the boat more than my mom or my brother. My mom didn't really like going and my brother had a hard time sitting still quietly or without banging the bottom of the boat. We NEVER caught anything with them on our excursions! It was my special time with him and we always exchanged fish stories; who caught the most and whose was the biggest. 

Dad had a spirit of adventure. He tried water skiing three years before he passed away at age 60. I was so proud of him. He kept trying until he got up, did one pass around and was so tired that he let go. I loved seeing his smile of accomplishment and his perseverance!

Dad loved animals; both our dogs when I was growing up and Lady our first dog! Dad came to live with us for about four months when he moved to Arizona. I loved spending time with him and was sad when my mom finally joined him after selling their house in MD. Little did I know how blessed I would be to spend that time with him when just a few short years he would leave us for years to come.

Dad was so proud of his grandkids. Here he is holding Dylan for the very first time. At the time, you never really realize how precious pictures are until they are the only memories left of someone you loved so dearly. I have always been so sad that Dylan would never remember his grandfather or that he would never have the experience of his grandpa teaching him how to fish. Now out of reluctance, I am the one who puts the worm on the hook and wiggles the fish off of the hook when we send them back in.

This was our last Christmas together! He always brought such warmth and I always felt so loved when he would hug me and tell me how much he loved me.  I don't remember what presents were given that year but you can see on Abby's face how much she loved Christmas and loved having him there too with us!

On March 26, 2003 I lost one of the four most important men in my life. I looked up to him for everything! He was one of the most Godly men I have ever known. He had his weaknesses but there weren't many. He influenced the lives of hundreds of people because He had a love for Jesus. People say that time heals all wounds. I have to say, when you love someone that deeply, the void in your heart never goes away and no one can ever replace that person. While they are so much a part of who you are, you never stop missing hearing their voice, feeling their touch or wanting to be in their presence once again.

Dad taught me a lot about life, how I see things, how I view others, how I look at eternity. He didn't teach me how to play ball or the piano, how to bake or how to use computers. He did spend many hours in the car with me late at night on trips talking about Jesus, his commandments and His love for me. I picture God being kind and compassionate, humble and quiet spirited because that is the earthly father that I had. While my dad was serious and strict, I also knew that He loved me with all of his heart. I am the person that I am today because my dad invested so much of himself into my life. I cannot wait for the day when it is my time to leave this earth. Heaven is for real and I am so thankful that he is waiting for me and all of the people that I love to join him. I am confident that he is one of the first people that I will see when I get there.

Until then, he passed on the torch to us...Impress the love of Jesus and His commandments on the hearts of your children and all of the souls that surround me. May I be found faithful til the end as He was!

Religion or Relationship

"You can't go to the movies. You can't go to the dance. You can't play cards. Don't drink, don't smoke, don't go out with boys who do". The list went on and on. For some, this list continues on still today. You can have a list as a catholic, as a practicing jew or as a Christian as 80% or more of what Americans call themselves. You have to read your bible daily, be a church member, attend church at least once a week, do some kind of community service and pray. People attend church for all kinds of reasons. Some attend for business contacts or social events. Others just think it is what they should do or have their kids theire while others "fill the square" on Easter and Christmas. Is there anything wrong with any of these things? No! All of them are necessary and beneficial. However, it is the intent behind following the law. The law without love for the one who wrote the law is only religion. Religion is following the checklist so you can call yourself a good person, better than the next because you do all of these things.

I know, I lived under the rule of "living the checklist" or legalism the majority of my life. My parents loved Jesus, there is no doubt about it. My dad certainly lived it. However, I think there are still churches out there that have missed something by teaching the long list of do's and don'ts only. Now we have lived in a culture that teaches the opposite extreme. They teach that God is all about grace. He loves us and out of His love bestows love and grace freely, which is a true statement. But the grace that He bestows also came at a price, His son on the cross. While I don't have to earn it, I just have to receive it, there is also an accountability and responsibility that comes with receiving that grace. It's called relationship with Jesus Christ. All I have to do is ask for His forgiveness and I am restored into having a relationship with Him. However, out of my love for Him, I want to surrender my will to His and to do all that He has asked of me because I love and trust Him.

Religion is just going through the motions of rituals just for the sake of following the rules. Relationship is willingly choosing to follow Jesus and wanting to please Him because I trust all that He has said is true. We have known and loved people who believe on both sides of the fence. I believe that life with Jesus is probably somewhere down the middle. God is a God of love and grace but He is also a perfect God, Holy in all of His character. He hasn't changed from the God who in the Old Testament wiped out thousands of people for their lack of love for Him and their sinful ways.  It is true, He loves everyone and wants no one to perish, but He also gives us a choice to choose to love and follow Him.

You can't pick and choose the characteristics of God that you want to highlight and discard the others. He is all powerful, all knowing, Holy, righteous (without sin), Sovereign, full of goodness and mercy, loving, Infinite and and everywhere at all times. To have a relationship you have to study the person that you are wanting a relationship with. You have to spend time with them and talk to them. You have to be a listener as well as one who speaks. A relationship is a two way street, give and take. Often people want to only ask things from God.

Often I ask myself, what is required of me to be His follower? It always goes back to His two greatest commandments, EVERYTHING in life falls into one of the two categories, Love the Lord God with all your heart, soul and mind and Love your neighbor as yourself.

Where do you find yourself? Do you just want to have "religion" in your life or do you want to have an abundant life by having a relationship with Jesus? Religion always leaves you feeling as if there is something missing in my life. Relationship with Jesus helps fill the voids in my life!

Good, Better, Best

Yesterday I was watering my flowers and decided to clear out the weeds in my flower bed. I was noticing that they start so small but left unattended they grow tall and spread out. Eventually the one small weed will multiply and occupy over the top of my beautiful flowers. Then it sticks out and makes everything look ugly!

I was thinking about my quiet times with God. There are many things that we love to do with our time; activities with or for the kids, dates with friends, helping out at school, community service, working part time, helping out at church. The list goes on and on until most of my waking hours are consumed with activity and time with the Lord is a mere after thought. They are all excuses really, if you want to know the truth. I just have my priorities all in the wrong order. All of the good things in life might be causing me to miss the best!!!

A very dear lady once gave me a perfect word picture of this concept. You have a beautiful watering can, ceramic painted with wildflowers. This represents my life. I continue to pour out my energy and my life into the lives of others. There will come a time when the watering can is empty. Without time with the Lord, worship and solitude, pouring living water back into my life, I will face burnout until eventually I have nothing more to offer anyone.

John 15 is clearly a picture of life with the Father. "I am the vine (Jesus), and my Father is the gardener. He cuts off every branch in me that bears no fruit, while every branch that does bear fruit He prunes so that it will be even more fruitful". Vs. 1-2 I am the vine; you are the branches. If a man remains in me and I in him, he will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing! Vs. 5 How do we remain in Jesus, by spending time in His Word and prayer. Without Him, we will not be used of Him to our maximum potential and eventually He will do His part in pruning our life so we will be useful.

If we do good things in our own power and strength, can you imagine how we could change the world if we had the power of the Father working through us to impact others????

Embracing Change

Jesus Christ is the same, yesterday, today and forever. Hebrews 13:8

We just left Middle School behind. We have entered into a new phase with Abby attending a new school. She has been taking a note taking class this summer to prepare her for the next step, high school. There are so many mixed emotions walking into this new phase. There will be high school games, dates, driving school. We have great anticipation for new friends and new experiences but also with emotions of sadness. I am quite certain that I will blink my eyes and our girl will be moving away from home for the first time.

Each year I gain new piano students and some leave and move away. It is exciting to embrace new people and sad to say goodbye! New friends come into our lives and others find new interests apart from us. Some times it is hard to look back and remember what once was, how paths were so entertwined and then it is changed, relationships that once were are now just faded memories. It makes me realize that you have to enjoy the moments when you have them, to play and laugh and live in the present when they come.

As we get older, the people that we love are also growing older. We watch parents and grandparents' health decline and become more frail. At times we wish we could just stop time, to hold on to our kids and keep them at their current age, to hold onto to those we love and keep them here with us for just a short time more without having to say goodbye, to recapture relationships that once were so close and now are so distant.

My mind still has me in my 30's and at times my body seems to differ with my state of mind. I smile and see small lines around my eyes. I can't stop time, changing me or the ones around me. Some of our friends have watched their kids graduate this year and they will be entering college. They will have to learn how to cope with being a parent with a child they love living so far from home and what to do with their life of solitude. Life never stands still.

At times it is hard to process, so many emotions to deal with. Each phase of life I learn something new. He teaches me so many lessons in walking through changes with others. Sometimes I walk through the phases first and help someone who is going through the phase behind me, sometimes I watch someone else walk through the phase first and pray that they will be there to hold my hand when I have to let go.

With all of life's changes, there is only one constant, Jesus Christ. He never changes, He promises that no matter what happens to me in my life, He will always walk through life beside me. I have nothing to fear for He is there beside me, helping me embrace change.

Can I Make a Difference?

A random act of kindness, a cup of cold water, a hug to a lonely lady, a visit to the elderly, a phone call to a distant friend; just a single act can affect the lives of many.

I have a dear friend who was deeply touched by the distaster and devastation in Japan. She and her kids created a book, donating all of the proceeds for the children of Japan. Out of her own compassion and desire to make a difference she is doing something for someone else, www.asmallgift4awish.com.

How do you remove yourself from your own world and have a bigger vision for the needs around you? This past week our family was part of  Stop World Hunger, packing meals for children in other countries. By actually serving, our kids were part of seeing the fact that there are many children around the world who don't have food or very little of what is given to them. There are over 300 verses in the bible that talking about providing for the poor. I don't really believe though that people just have physical needs to make them poor.

I look around me and there are so many hurting people, hurting marriages, broken families. When I see a need right in front of me, am I so busy or caught up in my daily routine that I can't see it, or do I make a conscious choice to stop and help meet that person's need? Sometimes I get so distracted that I don't even see a need in my own family. How many times do I stop and pray for the lost, those who are losing their homes and businesses in our very own state in this massive fire? Do I continue to remember and pray for the families who have lost their homes in the recent tornados?

We have another friend who just lost his wife a few days ago. People will remember him in the coming days and for a couple weeks to come. But will they remember him in the months and years to come, adjusting to the life of being a single dad? We have short attention spans, thinking and praying for people in the short term but if the problem lingers for months and years to come, those people who have experienced loss are forgotten while they rebuild their homes, schools, lives after the tragedy they have faced. Loss and trials in our own lives helps us to be more compassionate, more giving, more serving to others.

So how can we make a difference? When you have a passion or have emphathy for someone that God brings into your path and tells you to serve them in some way, listen. Give of your time and financial resources, just get involved. One person can affect the lives of many. When you read the New Testatment I am so in awe that Jesus wasn't just one who talked, there were actions behind His words. He healed the sick, He fed the thousands, He washed his disciples feet. I think we are also called not to just "talk" but also to physically "serve".

What has God laid on your heart to do to make a difference in the lives around you???

22 Years+

For this reason a man will leave is father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh....Each one of of you must also love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband. Ephesians 5:31-33

People have asked us over the years how we have made it this far when divorce is such a huge part of our culture and the statistics are against us! The first thing that comes from our lips is that when we first got married, we committed that we would never use the "D" word, no matter what came up. If divorce is not an option then no matter what trials come along, a solution must be found. For everyone there are peaks and valleys. If someone tells you there has never been a dispute, then one person is always compromising.

It takes two to make a relationship and two to break a relationship. I've had friends and family that have gone into the marriage saying that if it didn't work out, there was a way out. That kind of relationship is doomed from the start because there is an exit strategy already built in. Without a firm resolve and commitment to stay, a marital relationship is a fragile thing. The second reason for staying is the destruction that follows to family and friends when a divorce happens.

The biggest losers in a divorce are the children, if there are any. At first glance, kids seem to be unscathed. Over the years though, it takes a big toll, bouncing from one house to another, multiple partners with mom and dad, multiple grandparents, blended families, children from another family. It is all so complicated even in the best of circumstances. For the most part, I have never been witness to a divorce that wasn't complicated, with bad feelings on either side. When it is said and done, not only is divorce financially tolling, but everyone suffers emotionally, especially the children for years to come. Furthermore, I think about the example that we are setting and the role models that we are, forming our children's impressions of what to look for in a future spouse. If we opt for divorce, then I am giving them a free pass to do the same. If they witness our resolve to stay, then they will think about committing to stay as well.

Many of my friends, have walked this path, some not by their own choice. We prayed for restoration, instead we were participants in God's graciousness for mankind to have free will in their choices. This sometimes means a spouse having to let go! There is redemption and forgiveness in wrong choices with repentance. However, with that redemption comes everlasting consequences and much of that involves complicated futures for every member of a family who has experienced divorce.

So my last response to especially my children is, God's way is the least complicated. He intended us to make a wise choice for who we choose as a life partner and then we decide to honor our vows, not only before man but in an oath we made before God. Having a good marriage takes work on both people's part. Life is ever changing and our spouse is always changing. Even with all of the changes, I think I would rather stay with what I know then what I don't know. Many people make graver choices the second time around and life is worse than what they had the first time. One of the biggest ways to stay married is to have a forgiving heart. Everyone makes mistakes and no one is perfect.

We are only responsible for ourselves and what we can change, with God's help. But we are commanded to love our neighbor as ourself, which also includes my spouse. That includes loving him the way God created him to be and extending grace to him in his weaknesses. It is the same in our relationship with God. He loves us and forgives us in our shortcomings. He uses our spouses to refine us into His image. Our spouse is the one who knows us best...There are no masks or hiding on our worst days. When you live side by side there is no hiding from the truth, they see us in all circumstances. Paul and I have made a conscious choice to stay married and to love and support each other in this journey called life.

I thank God for the man that God gave me to share life with. He challenges me to be a better person and to fulfill my purpose here on earth. He often sees life from a different perspective than I do and I truly do appreciate his wisdom and discernment in so many ways.

If you are married, have you committed to stay???

Patriotism is still Alive

I Pledge allegiance to the flag of the United States of America, and to the republic for which it stands, one nation under God, indivisible with liberty and justice for all!

While sitting at Abby's 8th grade graduation, I couldn't help but notice how many adults weren't reciting the Pledge of Allegiance or even paying the simple respect of holding their right hand over their hearts! I was quite dismayed at the lack of luster for what once was an unspoken rule, a simple respect, a love for a country that has given so much to each individual.

And then, this past Friday something amazing happened before my very eyes, hope for the future generations behind us...As we were dropping off Abby at summer school, the flag was flying and the wind was waving the stripes straight out in front of us. Dylan with his innocent inquisitions said to me, "Mommy, is a flag supposed to be torn and tattered like that?" My response was "Dylan let's go ask your cub scout leader what is proper for a school or public institution as they display the public flag."

As we pulled in front of Mr. McMeans house, Dylan confidently asked, "Mr. McMeans is it proper for a school to display a tattered flag?" Mr. McMeans response was "No, it should be retired." We talked about purchasing a new flag for Abby's new school and Mr. McMeans told us that the cubscout troop would be happy to perform a retiring ceremony for the flag. Thank you Lord for institutions like the Cub Scouts and the Girl Scouts who teach boys and girls how to love their country and to be good citizens.

Maybe in the future generation the respect and love for America will return and maybe at my son's graduation I will see more parents reciting the Pledge of Allegiance and paying their respects to a symbol that stands for One Nation Under God. Could it be that's the problem with our lack of respect, not just a lack of respect for America, but for the foundations of how our country was founded...The beginning of wisdom, is the Fear of God!