Yes, I just had another year pass me by. For me it was a time to reflect and think about so many people who have been a part of my life. The first 30 years of my life were a lot about me. I thought about how I would build a career, build a marriage, get a house, live life to its fullest.
The next decade was more about living life for family. We started a family and began to learn what it was to live life sacrificially. A lot of time I spent living in the past, trying to figure out who I was and how I got to the place where I was. There was a lot of family analyzations and self introspection.
This past year the Lord has brought me through a place of quiet acceptance. I have accepted that everyone is created uniquely, different, for a purpose. I have learned to accept others just as they are, regardless of what my expectations are for them or how I think they should think or react. Everyone has their own set of issues, baggage from the past; everyone is human, but loved by the same Heavenly Father that I have. It changes your perspective of people and it gives me a freedom to love without conditions. Because God gives me grace on a daily basis, He expects me to extend it to others just the same!
On my birthday, my page was flooded with words of kindness, love and compassion. As I looked through the list I was in awe of all the people that I have been touched by through the years. Some I haven't seen in many years. I loved them deeply and then time and distance created a gap. Some of my dear friends shared very happy years with me in high school, and in college. Some friends were there when we were first married. Some were there when we first started our careers. Some family members have always been there through the good times and the bad times. Some have been mentors, teachers, people who taught me what it looks like to be mature in the faith. Some friends were there when we had growing pains of being new parents. As I look back on my life, I am totally astounded by how many Godly people have surrounded me from the time I was a little girl. How blessed I am to be from a family tree of pastors and missionaries.
I am so blessed to have been in church life my whole life. I don't know anything different. But something changed in me this year. Attending church and working as a volunteer was always something you just did. It was an expectation put on us, a ritual, part of the legalism that we were brought up with.
Something changed in my heart and mind this year which changes my perspective of how I want to live my life in the remaining days, weeks, months, years that I have left here on this earth. No longer is my life about me. Now it is about what can I give?
How can I be Jesus in the flesh to someone else? It once was being a performer, loving the lights and the center stage. I enjoy being a servant now. I'm not to the point where I could wash just anyone's feet, but I am sure He is slowly molding my heart to get to that place one day! Oh to know Him more, to be more like Him. Although I am a work in progress and often am imperfect, it is my highest desire to point others to Him! To God be the Glory, great things He has done. How richly blessed I am, with everyone He has given me to walk this journey called life!
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