Be joyful always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus! I Thessalonians 5:16-18
Today it is easy for me to be thankful! The kids like their teachers minus one, hopefully that will change tomorrow, but overall the transitions have been easy. Both the kids have friends and friends in their classes. We are all happy with our church and we have friends wherever we go. Things are going well for all of us and at the moment we have our health. I know, some of my superstitious friends are saying that I am jinxing us!
My point is that when things are running fairly smoothly and we are living on the mountaintop, it is easy to praise God and have a thankful heart. God is the giver of all good gifts! Trust me when I say that I LOVE living on the mountaintop and life is smooth. Each day I say Thank you God for all you have given me! The appliances are running well, not broken and the car doesn't need to be fixed and we are employed and the kids are enjoying school and their friends are all blessings, not to be taken for granted! At any moment, all of it can change. It is important that we enjoy the mountaintop while it lasts. But what about when it is over and life no longer is smooth sailing???
Nothing changes! God still wants me to praise and thank Him in all things. We all have lived on the mountaintop and in the valleys at many times in our life. In just of the blink of an eye, the stress' of life may come and bumps in the road come and we will be crying out to God for His help and wisdom because we can't handle life on our own. He still out of a sense of obedience wants me to praise Him and thank Him in all circumstances.
Are you on the mountaintop or down in the valley? Do you thank God for the good days and the blessings that He bestows upon you when things are going well? In the bad times, do you praise God for who He is and for His faithful promises when you are going through pain? Regardless of my circumstances; God wants my heart to be full of thanks for He is in control of all!
Wednesday, August 10, 2011
Monday, August 8, 2011
1st Day of School
Summer's Over!!! I thought I would be so sad today. I always am sad for a week when the kids go back to school. Lazy days are over, routines begin and work starts for us again. This year life seems different than most!
It's the beginning of a new chapter, a happy chapter. With so much pain and disappointments in middle school I'm glad we are starting over. I've said so many times that high school is a second chance for Abby. I have prayed for the past three years that she would make new friends. I wanted her to make friends at church so she would want to be there. This summer was the start of the new beginning.
How blessed I feel to have made the switch to our church almost three years ago. In a smaller setting you can get to know people and be known by people. I think that is one of our deepest longings. I could have never asked for a more passionate or zany pastor for Abby who deeply loves the kids and loves Jesus! I couldn't have asked for a better group of kids. We saw a remarkable turning point in all of them this summer and I am deeply thankful! It is such a great place to be, to be in the midst of a car full of kids going from place to place, to hear the chatter and the laughter, knowing that they enjoy being together.
While high school brings uncertainty, especially attending freshman orientation and hearing an hour lecture by the Scottsdale Police Department about DUI, kids taking drugs and not being able to trust any kid for one moment, I was not filled with fear. In the car I was asked if I felt the same level of "untrust" as was mentioned in the lecture. While I don't believe that any child is above making the "wrong choices", I feel that relationships with parents or lack of are building blocks or stepping stones for future decisions. I thank God that Abby is now part of an awesome church youth group. I feel thankful that she is surrounded by a lot of good girls and some strong women role models at the ranch where she rides horses. I also feel very thankful that she will be attending a school where the teachers care about each student and know them by name. I also feel thankful that she is surrounded by adults at church who care about her as a person!
I truly believe in the statement that it takes a community to raise a child that as a parent you can't do it alone. It is an awesome privilege watching your child become a responsible young adult. I love our school's three corner stones for character: reverence (for our Creator), respect (for others) and responsibility. While these four years ahead are going to pass us by too quickly, I am so excited that I will have a front row seat in this journey and that I am chosen to be the one who will be the chauffeur and cheerleader and coach. I am expecting that God is going to do great things not only in the life of my daughter but in all of the other kids that will be surrounding her!!! Here's to new beginnings...
It's the beginning of a new chapter, a happy chapter. With so much pain and disappointments in middle school I'm glad we are starting over. I've said so many times that high school is a second chance for Abby. I have prayed for the past three years that she would make new friends. I wanted her to make friends at church so she would want to be there. This summer was the start of the new beginning.
How blessed I feel to have made the switch to our church almost three years ago. In a smaller setting you can get to know people and be known by people. I think that is one of our deepest longings. I could have never asked for a more passionate or zany pastor for Abby who deeply loves the kids and loves Jesus! I couldn't have asked for a better group of kids. We saw a remarkable turning point in all of them this summer and I am deeply thankful! It is such a great place to be, to be in the midst of a car full of kids going from place to place, to hear the chatter and the laughter, knowing that they enjoy being together.
While high school brings uncertainty, especially attending freshman orientation and hearing an hour lecture by the Scottsdale Police Department about DUI, kids taking drugs and not being able to trust any kid for one moment, I was not filled with fear. In the car I was asked if I felt the same level of "untrust" as was mentioned in the lecture. While I don't believe that any child is above making the "wrong choices", I feel that relationships with parents or lack of are building blocks or stepping stones for future decisions. I thank God that Abby is now part of an awesome church youth group. I feel thankful that she is surrounded by a lot of good girls and some strong women role models at the ranch where she rides horses. I also feel very thankful that she will be attending a school where the teachers care about each student and know them by name. I also feel thankful that she is surrounded by adults at church who care about her as a person!
I truly believe in the statement that it takes a community to raise a child that as a parent you can't do it alone. It is an awesome privilege watching your child become a responsible young adult. I love our school's three corner stones for character: reverence (for our Creator), respect (for others) and responsibility. While these four years ahead are going to pass us by too quickly, I am so excited that I will have a front row seat in this journey and that I am chosen to be the one who will be the chauffeur and cheerleader and coach. I am expecting that God is going to do great things not only in the life of my daughter but in all of the other kids that will be surrounding her!!! Here's to new beginnings...
Wednesday, August 3, 2011
Why Am I Here?
The body is a unit, though it is made up of many parts; and though all of its parts are many, they form one body. I Cor 12: 12 Now you are the body of Christ, and each one of you is a part of it. I Cor 12:27
What is Your Purpose Here on Earth?
God has created all of us as one of a kind. We all look different, we sound different. We have different likes and dislikes and are a part of different earthly families. He created us with different gifts and talents. vs. 7-11. My husband Paul is very analytical and awesome with facts and figures and has fantastic organizational skills. I am creative, a people person and love to encourage others. Although we are part of different earthly families when we accept Christ and allow Him to be Lord of our life, we become adopted into His heavenly family. We wouldn't accomplish much if we were all the same. We all have different talents for a purpose and there is not one that is more important than the next. We all are here on earth to glorify God by using what He has given us to live out His two greatest commands, Love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul and mind and Love Your Neighbor as yourself.
Through a lifetime of searching and asking God how He wants to use me, I've realized he has created within me several passions. The first started at a very young age when my parents realized that I could carry a tune. My dad had me singing solos at church at 3. After college I started teaching piano and started children and adult choirs. It was clear that I had a love for music. However, I became a performer! It wasn't always that way but in my early adult years I clearly loved being at the center of the stage. God isn't mocked! You truly can't hide from Him or our intentions. For a long time, it wasn't about worshipping Him or bringing glory to Him from all the things in my life that He had done. It was purely for the praise that I received. We attended a large church for 14 years. I found my first mentor who was my music pastor's wife. I loved her and her husband, my music pastor baptized Abby. Eventually the performance opportunities ended and I was no longer being used. My pride was hurt and so I started serving in many other places at our church.
Having young children, I started serving in the young Mom's ministry. I LOVED being a small group leader and it was there that I developed a love for mom's who were struggling; without family, having troubled marriages, without Godly mother figures. That ministry lasted for 10 years and then it faded away. I went through a mentoring training program for a couple of years without anywhere to serve. Now I had all of these passions but no where to serve!!! I'm confused God!!!!!!! You train me up to sit??? Yes, just wait and wait and wait!!! This year He is allowing me to use my skills and training in two different ministries; music and mentoring.
What gifts have you been given??? How are you using what you have been given to glorify Him and be a part of HIS family???
What is Your Purpose Here on Earth?
God has created all of us as one of a kind. We all look different, we sound different. We have different likes and dislikes and are a part of different earthly families. He created us with different gifts and talents. vs. 7-11. My husband Paul is very analytical and awesome with facts and figures and has fantastic organizational skills. I am creative, a people person and love to encourage others. Although we are part of different earthly families when we accept Christ and allow Him to be Lord of our life, we become adopted into His heavenly family. We wouldn't accomplish much if we were all the same. We all have different talents for a purpose and there is not one that is more important than the next. We all are here on earth to glorify God by using what He has given us to live out His two greatest commands, Love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul and mind and Love Your Neighbor as yourself.
Through a lifetime of searching and asking God how He wants to use me, I've realized he has created within me several passions. The first started at a very young age when my parents realized that I could carry a tune. My dad had me singing solos at church at 3. After college I started teaching piano and started children and adult choirs. It was clear that I had a love for music. However, I became a performer! It wasn't always that way but in my early adult years I clearly loved being at the center of the stage. God isn't mocked! You truly can't hide from Him or our intentions. For a long time, it wasn't about worshipping Him or bringing glory to Him from all the things in my life that He had done. It was purely for the praise that I received. We attended a large church for 14 years. I found my first mentor who was my music pastor's wife. I loved her and her husband, my music pastor baptized Abby. Eventually the performance opportunities ended and I was no longer being used. My pride was hurt and so I started serving in many other places at our church.
Having young children, I started serving in the young Mom's ministry. I LOVED being a small group leader and it was there that I developed a love for mom's who were struggling; without family, having troubled marriages, without Godly mother figures. That ministry lasted for 10 years and then it faded away. I went through a mentoring training program for a couple of years without anywhere to serve. Now I had all of these passions but no where to serve!!! I'm confused God!!!!!!! You train me up to sit??? Yes, just wait and wait and wait!!! This year He is allowing me to use my skills and training in two different ministries; music and mentoring.
What gifts have you been given??? How are you using what you have been given to glorify Him and be a part of HIS family???
Monday, August 1, 2011
Leap of Faith
Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see! Hebrews 11:1
This past weekend the kids and I went to visit some friends at their cabin two hours north of Phoenix. We love the smell of the pines and the fresh cool air. It is still quite hot and muggy here in Arizona. We took a long walk down the mountain and walked through the cool creek, in the rain. To some that doesn't seem like much fun, to us, we don't see rain very much in Phoenix, like almost never. It was fun watching Dylan try to catch crayfish with a cup in the stream. He would have been happy to just wallow along in the creek all day, even in the rain. However, at the end of the creek was a big swimming hole. It wasn't just the adventure of the swimming hole though that was exciting.
It was the new adventure of cliff diving, one we had never experienced. Our friend was the first to experience it, even though he had been many times before. Dylan watched in anticipation and reluctantly left his hunt for the pinching slimy creatures. Without a hesitation though he was off the cliff in one swift jump, ready to take the leap again and again. Abby was coaxed into heading up the cliff herself. Hers was not the same quick leap off of the edge. I could see the fear and reluctance in her eyes. Fear is often what keeps us from taking that first step. I can't say that I blamed her for one second, for I share her fear of heights. I truly would have been Ok with her turning around and deciding not to take the plunge. But with the coaxing of her friend and the willingness of her brother to go with her at the same time, she stepped off alone. She watched more than once, the boys stepping off and plunging into safety. However there was fear that she would not share the same experience as they had. Once was more than enough for her. I was proud of both the kids for their display of courage and trust they had in our friends that it would be Ok and for their willingness to try.
There are many examples in the bible of people stepping out in faith: Abraham leaving his country when God asked Him to, Noah building the ark on dry land even though people thought he was insane, Moses refused to be called the son of pharoah's daughter and he was mistreated with all the Israelites in order to free them from slavery one day. The list of heroes of faith in the Bible are endless.
I have many people in my family right now that are taking a leap of faith, leaving their own comfort zone for a new beginning. Our nephew and niece Craig and Sarah are leaving their hometown and their home for Craig to be a director at a new camp site for Spring Hill in Indiana. Our nephew and niece Jesse and Kelly are starting a new bicycle ministry to help kids in their walk with Christ. They are fundraising now with hopes to one day do this full time. My two nephews Jacob and Jason or going to a new college in Boston and Seattle far away from home. Abby is starting a new chapter of her life with new friends in high school in just a few days. My mom went on a mission trip to Spain alone for a month. She will return in two weeks.
All of them have things in common. They all know Christ. Some have to trust God for finances. Others have to trust God to open doors and wait on God and His timing. Some have to overcome their fears and walk this journey alone. The one thing that faith requires is TRUST! There are many experiences in life that we can't handle alone. It requires us to ask God for help where we fall short. And then, the hardest part is waiting.
Are you Ok with just living in your comfort zone? What leap of faith do you need to take? What hinders you from taking that first step? Just trust!!!
This past weekend the kids and I went to visit some friends at their cabin two hours north of Phoenix. We love the smell of the pines and the fresh cool air. It is still quite hot and muggy here in Arizona. We took a long walk down the mountain and walked through the cool creek, in the rain. To some that doesn't seem like much fun, to us, we don't see rain very much in Phoenix, like almost never. It was fun watching Dylan try to catch crayfish with a cup in the stream. He would have been happy to just wallow along in the creek all day, even in the rain. However, at the end of the creek was a big swimming hole. It wasn't just the adventure of the swimming hole though that was exciting.
It was the new adventure of cliff diving, one we had never experienced. Our friend was the first to experience it, even though he had been many times before. Dylan watched in anticipation and reluctantly left his hunt for the pinching slimy creatures. Without a hesitation though he was off the cliff in one swift jump, ready to take the leap again and again. Abby was coaxed into heading up the cliff herself. Hers was not the same quick leap off of the edge. I could see the fear and reluctance in her eyes. Fear is often what keeps us from taking that first step. I can't say that I blamed her for one second, for I share her fear of heights. I truly would have been Ok with her turning around and deciding not to take the plunge. But with the coaxing of her friend and the willingness of her brother to go with her at the same time, she stepped off alone. She watched more than once, the boys stepping off and plunging into safety. However there was fear that she would not share the same experience as they had. Once was more than enough for her. I was proud of both the kids for their display of courage and trust they had in our friends that it would be Ok and for their willingness to try.
There are many examples in the bible of people stepping out in faith: Abraham leaving his country when God asked Him to, Noah building the ark on dry land even though people thought he was insane, Moses refused to be called the son of pharoah's daughter and he was mistreated with all the Israelites in order to free them from slavery one day. The list of heroes of faith in the Bible are endless.
I have many people in my family right now that are taking a leap of faith, leaving their own comfort zone for a new beginning. Our nephew and niece Craig and Sarah are leaving their hometown and their home for Craig to be a director at a new camp site for Spring Hill in Indiana. Our nephew and niece Jesse and Kelly are starting a new bicycle ministry to help kids in their walk with Christ. They are fundraising now with hopes to one day do this full time. My two nephews Jacob and Jason or going to a new college in Boston and Seattle far away from home. Abby is starting a new chapter of her life with new friends in high school in just a few days. My mom went on a mission trip to Spain alone for a month. She will return in two weeks.
All of them have things in common. They all know Christ. Some have to trust God for finances. Others have to trust God to open doors and wait on God and His timing. Some have to overcome their fears and walk this journey alone. The one thing that faith requires is TRUST! There are many experiences in life that we can't handle alone. It requires us to ask God for help where we fall short. And then, the hardest part is waiting.
Are you Ok with just living in your comfort zone? What leap of faith do you need to take? What hinders you from taking that first step? Just trust!!!
Rest
Even youth grow tired and weary and young men stumble and fall, but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint. Isaiah 40:30-31
This verse describes my summer! I haven't written my blog for most of the summer. I didn't do a lot of cooking or cleaning and as little laundry as was necessary. We lived away from strict time constraints and did activities out of the ordinary. Routine is important and a part of life. At times though it feels as if I am a gerbil running on a ferris wheel going round and round and every day feels the same. Every parent out there and probably most kids feel the same way.
I always look forward to summer. I love spending the time with my kids. I love not having to carpool and race from place to place. I love being able to sleep in once in awhile and not "filling my day" with 101 things. We all get stressed out from life in general. I am always sad for two weeks once the kids go back with tears in my eyes and a lump in my throat nervous for new beginnings for everyone. It was bad enough having to experience the first day of school myself, but even worse as a parent. I get nervous meeting their teachers, worrying if they'll start out on the right foot.
Summer is a time for renewal. All these stresses ease away with the relaxation of life without a schedule. We get tired from having such a busy life; school, sports, church, jobs, volunteer activities.
Someone once gave me such a fantastic word picture. Close your eyes and imagine a watering can. Mine is beautiful with flowers painted on the outside. I start with the can full of fresh, sparkling cold water. I pour it out little by little for my kids and my husband. The water keeps flowing with each person that I help, the work that I do, the places I serve. Until, at the very end there is no more cold sparkling water. The can becomes all dry and hot and then there is nothing left to give for anyone. As a matter of fact, there is none left for me. Some call that burnout.
We all need time to be quiet, to unplug to rest, to spend time in worship and peace with our Creator. John 7:37 says: If anyone is thirsty, let him come to me and drink. Whoever believes in me, as the Scripture has said, streams of living water will flow from within him. I thank God for the time I spent with Him this summer on my hikes through the mountain, on my bike along the river. For there, He renewed my strength for the places He will have me serve during this next school year.
How about you? Are you refreshed ready to serve where God wants you to or are you like the dry watering can? If so, ask God to wash His living water in and through you. His promise to help you soar like and eagle is true!!
This verse describes my summer! I haven't written my blog for most of the summer. I didn't do a lot of cooking or cleaning and as little laundry as was necessary. We lived away from strict time constraints and did activities out of the ordinary. Routine is important and a part of life. At times though it feels as if I am a gerbil running on a ferris wheel going round and round and every day feels the same. Every parent out there and probably most kids feel the same way.
I always look forward to summer. I love spending the time with my kids. I love not having to carpool and race from place to place. I love being able to sleep in once in awhile and not "filling my day" with 101 things. We all get stressed out from life in general. I am always sad for two weeks once the kids go back with tears in my eyes and a lump in my throat nervous for new beginnings for everyone. It was bad enough having to experience the first day of school myself, but even worse as a parent. I get nervous meeting their teachers, worrying if they'll start out on the right foot.
Summer is a time for renewal. All these stresses ease away with the relaxation of life without a schedule. We get tired from having such a busy life; school, sports, church, jobs, volunteer activities.
Someone once gave me such a fantastic word picture. Close your eyes and imagine a watering can. Mine is beautiful with flowers painted on the outside. I start with the can full of fresh, sparkling cold water. I pour it out little by little for my kids and my husband. The water keeps flowing with each person that I help, the work that I do, the places I serve. Until, at the very end there is no more cold sparkling water. The can becomes all dry and hot and then there is nothing left to give for anyone. As a matter of fact, there is none left for me. Some call that burnout.
We all need time to be quiet, to unplug to rest, to spend time in worship and peace with our Creator. John 7:37 says: If anyone is thirsty, let him come to me and drink. Whoever believes in me, as the Scripture has said, streams of living water will flow from within him. I thank God for the time I spent with Him this summer on my hikes through the mountain, on my bike along the river. For there, He renewed my strength for the places He will have me serve during this next school year.
How about you? Are you refreshed ready to serve where God wants you to or are you like the dry watering can? If so, ask God to wash His living water in and through you. His promise to help you soar like and eagle is true!!
Tuesday, July 19, 2011
Sowing Seeds in the Young
Be slow to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry.
When our youth pastor asked me to be a counselor for our youth camp two weeks ago I came with many reservations. After wrestling with God most of the night after I was asked, I asked Him to give me a peace. In the quiet hours of the morning it was like He was speaking to my heart that there was a divine purpose for me going. The verse above was the verse that He gave me for the week. It had been many years since I had walked along side of youth. I have been involved with kids, and women's ministries for the past 15 years. I decided that I would come with open hands and an open heart giving whatever I had to whomever he brought into my path. Almost instantly I felt a bond to all of the girls in my quad and almost an instant connection with my roommate and the girls in our small group, all 16 of them.
Many things happened during the week; distractions, diversions. Some things were just kids being kids, others were more serious. Each day we prayed for the kids feeling like God was going to do something big in the lives of the 42 kids that were entrusted into our care. There was a particular night when Ryan, our pastor was speaking. We had several people come through our outdoor seating area talking loudly, planes flying overhead, and just before the "feet washing ceremony" a black rat was threatening to run between the rows of where the students were sitting. I prayed for God to run him in a different direction. He heard and answered as the little fellow ran down into a vent in the cement. I even had a student who had food poisoning and became so sick that she had to be taken to urgent care. God's plans cannot be thwarted. Some would describe all of the events as a natural occurrence. I think it was all far more of a spiritual nature. When God has plans to do the miraculous, Satan LOVES to send distractions. God is greater, and praying God's Word and claiming victory in the name of Jesus and the blood that was shed on the cross, gives the power to overcome.
Sometimes events take place that are sad. I witnessed our group being very loving and full of grace over the week that they were together. It is one thing for an adult to share the love of Jesus, not by their words but by deeds. It is a whole different story when it comes from a peer.
How privileged I felt to listen to the stories of the students on the last night of how God had transformed their life. That is what God does with His unconditional love and mercy regardless of what we say or do. Seeds were planted, seeds of God's love for us displayed through the life of a group of students. It is my prayer that God will continue to grow those seeds that were planted in the days to come through the friendships that were made in Malibu California. How proud I am of all the kids. Our youth group is different, closer. I pray that their lives will change our church and in the schools that they all represent!!! Never look down on those who are young. Their passion and zeal can touch the lives of those that we can't touch and they can strengthen the faith of those who have a deep and abiding love with Jesus!
When our youth pastor asked me to be a counselor for our youth camp two weeks ago I came with many reservations. After wrestling with God most of the night after I was asked, I asked Him to give me a peace. In the quiet hours of the morning it was like He was speaking to my heart that there was a divine purpose for me going. The verse above was the verse that He gave me for the week. It had been many years since I had walked along side of youth. I have been involved with kids, and women's ministries for the past 15 years. I decided that I would come with open hands and an open heart giving whatever I had to whomever he brought into my path. Almost instantly I felt a bond to all of the girls in my quad and almost an instant connection with my roommate and the girls in our small group, all 16 of them.
Many things happened during the week; distractions, diversions. Some things were just kids being kids, others were more serious. Each day we prayed for the kids feeling like God was going to do something big in the lives of the 42 kids that were entrusted into our care. There was a particular night when Ryan, our pastor was speaking. We had several people come through our outdoor seating area talking loudly, planes flying overhead, and just before the "feet washing ceremony" a black rat was threatening to run between the rows of where the students were sitting. I prayed for God to run him in a different direction. He heard and answered as the little fellow ran down into a vent in the cement. I even had a student who had food poisoning and became so sick that she had to be taken to urgent care. God's plans cannot be thwarted. Some would describe all of the events as a natural occurrence. I think it was all far more of a spiritual nature. When God has plans to do the miraculous, Satan LOVES to send distractions. God is greater, and praying God's Word and claiming victory in the name of Jesus and the blood that was shed on the cross, gives the power to overcome.
Sometimes events take place that are sad. I witnessed our group being very loving and full of grace over the week that they were together. It is one thing for an adult to share the love of Jesus, not by their words but by deeds. It is a whole different story when it comes from a peer.
How privileged I felt to listen to the stories of the students on the last night of how God had transformed their life. That is what God does with His unconditional love and mercy regardless of what we say or do. Seeds were planted, seeds of God's love for us displayed through the life of a group of students. It is my prayer that God will continue to grow those seeds that were planted in the days to come through the friendships that were made in Malibu California. How proud I am of all the kids. Our youth group is different, closer. I pray that their lives will change our church and in the schools that they all represent!!! Never look down on those who are young. Their passion and zeal can touch the lives of those that we can't touch and they can strengthen the faith of those who have a deep and abiding love with Jesus!
Saturday, July 9, 2011
Sitting in the Dark
All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be. Psalm 139:16
I often say my grandpa has nine lives. He has brushed death's door more than 6 times, his newest escape this past week. While we were in Indiana, he had a couple of strokes and a long stay in the hospital. I have held his hand and told him I loved him a thousand times, thinking it will be the last time I ever see him again on this side of heaven. He has told me over and over that he will hang on until my grandma is gone to heaven first. He doesn't want her to be left here alone.
I went to visit him tonight in the rehabilitation facility and the room was dark. He was lying in bed with the oxygen in his nose and a breathing treatment in his mouth. He was lying there so peaceful gazing straight ahead like he didn't even know I was there. He tried to speak with the tube in his mouth and his speech was slurred. I talked to him quietly and told him to just listen. My heart was filled with sadness hearing that he is in pain at times from the treatments he is going through and with so many complications that are taking place with his health I kept wondering why such a faithful servant has to endure so much suffering. Is it grandpa's will to stay or the fact that God knows exactly how many days he will remain on this earth? I keep wondering why God is allowing him to stay.
It has taken me a long time to be willing to let him go. He has been like a dad to me since my dad left us so many years ago. He has been such a faithful loving grandfather to my kids all of these years. Although I feel so much love for him, I now feel so much empathy for the fact that he is so weary and tired of being in pain physically and of carrying the burdens of my grandma who can't even remember our names. I pray daily now for God to take Him home. For when he leaves us He will feel no more pain, there will no longer be so many medicines, he will shed no more tears, nor will he be confined to a bed or a chair. He will gain a new body free from all his ailments and will never have to worry about any of us or anything for the rest of eternity. I am sure my dad will be waiting for him. I'm sure they will go fishing.
I leave for a couple of weeks again on Monday. I don't know what will happen to grandpa tomorrow, or a week from now or a month from now. But I pray that his remaining days here will be few.
Where can I go from your Spirit? Where can I flee from your presence? If I go up to the heavens, you are there; if I make my bed in the depths, you are there. If I rise on the wings of the dawn, if I settle on the far side of the sea, even there your hand will guide me, your right hand will hold me fast. If I say, surely the darkness will hide me, even the darkness will not be dark to you. The night will shine like the day, for darkness is as light to you. Psalm 139:7-12
I often say my grandpa has nine lives. He has brushed death's door more than 6 times, his newest escape this past week. While we were in Indiana, he had a couple of strokes and a long stay in the hospital. I have held his hand and told him I loved him a thousand times, thinking it will be the last time I ever see him again on this side of heaven. He has told me over and over that he will hang on until my grandma is gone to heaven first. He doesn't want her to be left here alone.
I went to visit him tonight in the rehabilitation facility and the room was dark. He was lying in bed with the oxygen in his nose and a breathing treatment in his mouth. He was lying there so peaceful gazing straight ahead like he didn't even know I was there. He tried to speak with the tube in his mouth and his speech was slurred. I talked to him quietly and told him to just listen. My heart was filled with sadness hearing that he is in pain at times from the treatments he is going through and with so many complications that are taking place with his health I kept wondering why such a faithful servant has to endure so much suffering. Is it grandpa's will to stay or the fact that God knows exactly how many days he will remain on this earth? I keep wondering why God is allowing him to stay.
It has taken me a long time to be willing to let him go. He has been like a dad to me since my dad left us so many years ago. He has been such a faithful loving grandfather to my kids all of these years. Although I feel so much love for him, I now feel so much empathy for the fact that he is so weary and tired of being in pain physically and of carrying the burdens of my grandma who can't even remember our names. I pray daily now for God to take Him home. For when he leaves us He will feel no more pain, there will no longer be so many medicines, he will shed no more tears, nor will he be confined to a bed or a chair. He will gain a new body free from all his ailments and will never have to worry about any of us or anything for the rest of eternity. I am sure my dad will be waiting for him. I'm sure they will go fishing.
So tonight as I sat in the dark by his side, we sat in mostly silence. I sat on the edge of his bed as he stroked my hair. He's never done that before. I told him how much I loved him and that grandma will be Ok.
I leave for a couple of weeks again on Monday. I don't know what will happen to grandpa tomorrow, or a week from now or a month from now. But I pray that his remaining days here will be few.
Where can I go from your Spirit? Where can I flee from your presence? If I go up to the heavens, you are there; if I make my bed in the depths, you are there. If I rise on the wings of the dawn, if I settle on the far side of the sea, even there your hand will guide me, your right hand will hold me fast. If I say, surely the darkness will hide me, even the darkness will not be dark to you. The night will shine like the day, for darkness is as light to you. Psalm 139:7-12
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