Ebb of Silence

It's been a long time since I have posted. I don't believe in just rambling without a purpose or meaning. Words should be used sparingly. I write on the eve of my next visit, my last with my dying grandfather held few words. A few weeks ago I tried to wake him up for over a half hour to no avail. This last visit held no expectations. To my sweet surprise and God's mercy, he was awake for 90 minutes. I held his hand, rubbed his arm and watched his eyes. I sang him my favorite praise songs without end.

There weren't many words to say. Over the years we've said a lot. My grandfather, I joke has 10 lives and has lived a year and half without his wife of 70 years. He has endured more strokes than I can count. He took the place of my dad in my dad's untimely passing. We have shared almost every holiday together, and every birthday that I can remember. Without a word being said, I feel the warm love in his arms and even in the emptiness in his eyes, I can feel the warmth of love in his eyes towards me.

Soon he will be gone. I guess when you love someone so deeply and you see that they have fulfilled their purpose here, you are willing to let them go. He is only here in mind, he is bed ridden, not much movement almost without a voice. I was blessed enough to hear the words whispered as I have heard all my life, I love you with all of my heart.

God has used my grandpa to be a heavenly example of how my heavenly father feels about me. I can only imagine, His warm embrace and seeing the warmth in His eyes when one day I will be in His presence. It is truly a gift to feel that unconditional love from a human being here on earth. As our days are numbered, even just only a few more minutes I will share with grandpa on this side, how grateful I am to have had such a loving, gentle man have so much impact on my life and to have spent so many precious days and memories.

Grandpa inspires me to embrace others with that same kind of gentle spirit and warmth. While I don't always live it as well as grandpa did, I hope that some day the same will be said about me.