The holidays have passed us by. The presents are opened, the cookies are gone (thank goodness), the parties are over, and now, life returns to routine. Almost everyone experiences the blues for one reason or another. Loss of a job, a loved one, divorce, emotional exhaustion, stress, physical weariness, illness, lack of sleep, changes of life, children leaving home, all can spark depression.
Life can be moving along perfectly and the blues hit without notice. Sometimes it is for a day, a week, months or even years for some. It is real and unplanned. When it hits, it is like an unwelcome stranger linginering like a dark cloud that chills the soul. I can understand why so many poets have written stories and poems, fueled by the dark forces of depression. It is something that you can't explain or shake.
When I find myself in this place, it is like being in a long tunnel without seeing the light of day, an overwhelming place of isolation. It saps energy, thoughts, motivation to move forward, or even any kind of movement, and yet, you are forced to keep up with the daily tasks and work of the day. Life continues to move on and you are still forced to perform the duties and tasks required by each role that you play in a family, work environment, church, etc.
Recently I found myself in a "funk" with no place out. I can't really put my finger on how I got there. Life was moving along perfectly, no major identifiers to put me there. The holidays were just around the corner with so much to do, places to go, people to see.
To make matters worse, after considerable time went by and I had come out of the "funk" one of our pastors preached on discouragement. Where was the sermon weeks ago when I couldn't find myself out of the fog? I sat scratching my head wondering what the purpose was for me to go through that experience and wondering where God was through it all. It occurred to me weeks into the fog, that God is not a God of darkness or confusion. The enemy is the source of all darkness. It slowly creeps in like a real fog, from the ground up until you can't see two feet in front of you. The blindness and isolation that you feel is so blinding that you just want to sit in a dark room, alone. You can't really explain how you got there and you surely can't describe how to get out. I started listening to Christian praise songs and I started reading the Psalms. I'm sure that for whatever reason, whether it was his own disobedience in going against God's will and plans for his life, boredom, losing a son or other things, the writer David found himself in a fog many times, inspiring him to write chapter after chapter recorded in the book of Psalms.
While I can't tell you why, I came out on the other side of the tunnel with a new compassion for my friends who have struggled with depression. Some of them are chemically induced, others have had experiences in life that have given them the blues. Going through difficult times, gives you emphathy for others.
In I Peter 1, it says, we are protected by the power of God through faith for a salvation, ready to be revealed in the last time. In this we greatly rejoice, even though now for a little while, if necessary, you have been distressed by various trials, so that the proof of your faith, being more precious than gold which is perishable, even though tested by fire, may be found to result in praise, glory and honor at the revelation of Jesus Christ, and though you have not seen Him, you love Him.
I always wonder where He is in the darkness, why He doesn't reveal Himself to me, why I don't FEEL His presence. It is because He wants to deepen my faith, He wants me to trust Him more. I often see soemone who is blind, holding the arm of another to get from place to place. It is that undeniable trust for that person's care and well-being that Jesus wants me to experience, which is why He allows the fog to come and go and the trials to come and go in my life. Praise be to God for protecting me, sustaining me, and faithful to lead me out of the tunnel so that I can give Honor and Glory to Him!
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