My first recollection of being treated unfairly was when I was five. I was a tiny little quiet thing, following every rule perfectly afraid of everyone and everything! During kindergarten one day at recess, I was close to having an accident. I ran inside the school just in the nick of time. As I was headed back to play I was headed off by the principal. Life was different back then. There were no questions asked if something happened. He marched me into his office, only to receive a swat with a wooden paddle. I have to say the experience was traumatic. To make matters worse, when I arrived home, the principal had called my dad and I received a second paddling.
You can only imagine my feelings toward the principal and my dad. I was sad, even angry for I had done nothing wrong. I felt betrayed by those in authority and furthermore I lacked trust in either one of them for not allowing me to voice my side of the incident. I was too small to speak up for myself. It took me a while to respect either one for having ignored my needs. We have all had siblings that have done something to us and we receive the blame and punishment for a crime that we did not commit. These experiences shape who we are and how we perceive others who are treated unjustly.
When I became a parent I vowed that I would deal with conflict differently; whether it was between my child and their friends or between siblings. Whenever there is an altercation, I always bring both parties in and get their side of the story before deeming one or the other guilty. If I have to become the judge and jury and I have not been witness to the offense, sometimes they are both deemed guilty. There are always two sides to every story. Damage can be done when one party is always declared innocent when many things take place behind the scenes. Just because one screams louder than the other and one remains silent, does not validate innocence on either behalf.
As we grow older, how do we handle our emotions when someone has treated us unjustly??? It is a process to work through our emotions. From a Christ-Centered perspective, the first thing to do is pray for the person who has given you the short end of the stick. Scripture says Pray for those who persecute you (or accuse you for something you did not do). The one thing that I don't want to do is forgive, however it is required for our own well being, and it is a command. Without forgiveness, we can come bitter and it can cause us to make wrong choices. Sometimes confrontation is in order, however we have to ask ourselves, what is our heart's motivation by confronting, is it to rid ourself of anger, or to approach that person in humility to restore relationship? If confrontation is necessary, sometimes it is better to wait a period of time before approaching those who have hurt us.
We all want justice, to set the record straight, our reputation to be restored and in the end, feel vindication. However, that is not always possible. There are thousands of stories of people who have been wronged and do not receive an apology or seen a solution to a restored relationship. God clearly states, Vengenance is mine, says the Lord, I will repay. It is best to pray for the truth to be revealed, for the eyes of the accuser to be opened and for the innocent's name to be restored. God is capable of the impossible. He is in the business of healing hearts and relationships. We don't need to defend ourselves and our reputation for He does all of that for us if we seek HIM!
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